Infomercials - ZEFRANK.COM

SpecialK · 03-21-2004, 11:09 PM

Don't those things just crack you up? I like the cooking ones. They show the person using the "old product" slicing off fingers and pouring boiling hot water on themselves. If they were that bad off with the "old product" they shouldn't be cooking at all. Tell me about your favorites.

SpecialK · 03-21-2004, 11:34 PM

Oh, come on guys, you know theyre funny

masterofNone · 03-21-2004, 11:37 PM

ron popiel is god.

priceyfatprude · 03-22-2004, 12:05 AM

I think the Home Shopping Channel is 10x funnier. Especially those idiots selling the jewelry.

JesusTitties · 03-22-2004, 03:26 AM

SpecialK · 03-22-2004, 04:14 AM

None of them ever really seem to know what they're talking about. OH but they act like it.

daverbee · 03-22-2004, 11:30 AM

I like the knife ads they have on Outdoor LIfe network. All these amazing kinves you can get for one low price! The one low price is so low the knives must be made of silver foil!

dinzdale · 03-22-2004, 11:35 AM

Write one for this board, you know..

Fat White Guy :"I always seem to end up having to type keys and making up my own sentences"

Skinny Blond Chick: " Here, Rupert, now try it with the E-Z Frank"

Crowd: "OOOOOO!!!"

FWG smiles :"Fark, that's nice, hooker!"

SBC : "You see how easy that is...and no sore fingers!"

daverbee · 03-22-2004, 01:04 PM

FWG - "I never knew it could be so easy! Plus, lets not forget the free shipping if you call within the next five minutes!"

SBC - "And just look at the price we're offering this for right now! We only have a few left and they're going fast! Let's go to the phones and take a call! Hello, you're on Monkey Shopping Network!"

Caller - "Hey, Fat! Hey, Skinny! I just called to tell you how much I love my new E-Z Frank! It's just been the best!"

dinzdale · 03-22-2004, 01:14 PM

SWC: "Were you having a particular problem, that the E-Z Frank can help you with?"

Caller:"I was having trouble meeting other Nerds. They'd laugh at my attempts at trying to sound cool, but the E-Z Frank solved ALL my inadequacies"

FWG: "It's so easy to be cool and hip using the E-Z Frank dont you think"

Caller: "I'll say...now I have the courage to say PANTS! and know I'm not going to look silly"

SWC: " That's just great...and you can drop PANTS! or CALM DOWN! into any IM,PM or Thread. It's so farking simple....just call now and we'll throw in a free giant pen! ($4.00 value)"

Frieda · 03-22-2004, 03:28 PM

these are great!

daverbee · 03-22-2004, 03:59 PM

FWG - "And just look at the size of that farking pen! And the word fark! Where else can you use that word and have everyone know what you're talking about? That alone is worth the price we're asking, but there's even more! Tell our caller about it, Skinny!"

SBC - "Sure thing, Fat! In addition to the EZ Frank, the pen, the words you can use nowhere else without looking like a complete fool, the chance to meet other nerds, and the opportunity to look cool, we'll also give you, at no extra cost, Tony Little himself!
Now you can scream like a complete maniac as you float along on a gazelle and Tony will be there to help you! Where else are you going to get a deal like this?"

FWG - "Good question, Skinny! In fact, lets show our viewers how easy it is to pose a question on Question for Question! See that? Isn't that easy? Would you like to try this in the privacy of your own home? With Tony Little there to scream words of encouragement at you?
Call now, and all this can be yours, but, we're not done! Skinny, tell them about our super special offer we're only offering to our viewers who hear this offer in the next five milliseconds!"

dinzdale · 03-22-2004, 04:24 PM

SBC: "If you call in right now, for a limited time, we offer you the cahnce to talk about an imaginery GIRLFRIEND!!"

*Crowd* OOOOOooooo !!!!!

FWG: "You mean to tell us Skinny, that we can have made up friends and describe how they're totally like 'in love' with us and other people wont laugh or make fun???"

SBC:" That's right Fat Guy, no matter where you're from, you can have a virtual sex-life and pretend attractivness....and no-one will ever think of you as a pathetic loser anymore"

FWG:" I see our phone lines are lighting up, so dont go away, we'll be right back after I answer this first call.....it's from Louisiana....."

daverbee · 03-22-2004, 04:35 PM

Caller - "Yeah, I'd like to order a pizza for delivery, no anchovies."

FWG - "No anchovies??? Where'd we get this guy? The Random Thread?"

Audience - "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

FWG - "Seriously, folks, you can't afford to turn down an offer like this. In fact, we aren't gonna let you turn it down. If you call, in the next ten minutes, we'll give you, at no extra charge, double on everything! How can you pass on a deal like that?
Imagine coming home and finding two Tony Little's plus two imaginary girlfriends in your home? Not to mention two giant pens, and two EZ Franks? You'd be the coolest person in your country! Isn't that right, Skinny?"

dinzdale · 03-22-2004, 04:55 PM

SBC:"You'd be so 'farking' cool Fat. But dont just take our word for it..here are some actual people, just like you. See how the E-Z Frank changed some of their lives..."

*roll video clip*

Testimonial #1 - "It's so easy. That's what struck me. I no longer stayed in my bedroom all day. I found I could pretend to have a job and within a week I was going down to the store and interacting with the cashier. I have so much more confidence, and people always look at me on the street and you can hear them whispering about the size of my pen. I dont think they even notice my ankle-swinger pants anymore. Thank you E-Z Frank"

03-22-2004, 12:05 AM	#4
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	I think the Home Shopping Channel is 10x funnier. Especially those idiots selling the jewelry. __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

03-22-2004, 03:28 PM	#11
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,503	these are great! __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

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03-21-2004, 11:09 PM	#1
SpecialK Lint Free Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the dryer Posts: 371	Infomercials Don't those things just crack you up? I like the cooking ones. They show the person using the "old product" slicing off fingers and pouring boiling hot water on themselves. If they were that bad off with the "old product" they shouldn't be cooking at all. Tell me about your favorites.

03-21-2004, 11:34 PM	#2
SpecialK Lint Free Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the dryer Posts: 371	Oh, come on guys, you know theyre funny

03-21-2004, 11:37 PM	#3
masterofNone ________ Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,131	ron popiel is god.

03-22-2004, 04:14 AM	#6
SpecialK Lint Free Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the dryer Posts: 371	None of them ever really seem to know what they're talking about. OH but they act like it.

03-22-2004, 11:30 AM	#7
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	I like the knife ads they have on Outdoor LIfe network. All these amazing kinves you can get for one low price! The one low price is so low the knives must be made of silver foil!

03-22-2004, 11:35 AM	#8
dinzdale King of the špatnýs Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: was that dog Posts: 9,411	Write one for this board, you know.. Fat White Guy :"I always seem to end up having to type keys and making up my own sentences" Skinny Blond Chick: " Here, Rupert, now try it with the E-Z Frank" Crowd: "OOOOOO!!!" FWG smiles :"Fark, that's nice, hooker!" SBC : "You see how easy that is...and no sore fingers!"

03-22-2004, 01:04 PM	#9
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	FWG - "I never knew it could be so easy! Plus, lets not forget the free shipping if you call within the next five minutes!" SBC - "And just look at the price we're offering this for right now! We only have a few left and they're going fast! Let's go to the phones and take a call! Hello, you're on Monkey Shopping Network!" Caller - "Hey, Fat! Hey, Skinny! I just called to tell you how much I love my new E-Z Frank! It's just been the best!"

03-22-2004, 01:14 PM	#10
dinzdale King of the špatnýs Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: was that dog Posts: 9,411	SWC: "Were you having a particular problem, that the E-Z Frank can help you with?" Caller:"I was having trouble meeting other Nerds. They'd laugh at my attempts at trying to sound cool, but the E-Z Frank solved ALL my inadequacies" FWG: "It's so easy to be cool and hip using the E-Z Frank dont you think" Caller: "I'll say...now I have the courage to say PANTS! and know I'm not going to look silly" SWC: " That's just great...and you can drop PANTS! or CALM DOWN! into any IM,PM or Thread. It's so farking simple....just call now and we'll throw in a free giant pen! ($4.00 value)"

03-22-2004, 03:59 PM	#12
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	FWG - "And just look at the size of that farking pen! And the word fark! Where else can you use that word and have everyone know what you're talking about? That alone is worth the price we're asking, but there's even more! Tell our caller about it, Skinny!" SBC - "Sure thing, Fat! In addition to the EZ Frank, the pen, the words you can use nowhere else without looking like a complete fool, the chance to meet other nerds, and the opportunity to look cool, we'll also give you, at no extra cost, Tony Little himself! Now you can scream like a complete maniac as you float along on a gazelle and Tony will be there to help you! Where else are you going to get a deal like this?" FWG - "Good question, Skinny! In fact, lets show our viewers how easy it is to pose a question on Question for Question! See that? Isn't that easy? Would you like to try this in the privacy of your own home? With Tony Little there to scream words of encouragement at you? Call now, and all this can be yours, but, we're not done! Skinny, tell them about our super special offer we're only offering to our viewers who hear this offer in the next five milliseconds!"

03-22-2004, 04:24 PM	#13
dinzdale King of the špatnýs Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: was that dog Posts: 9,411	SBC: "If you call in right now, for a limited time, we offer you the cahnce to talk about an imaginery GIRLFRIEND!!" Crowd OOOOOooooo !!!!! FWG: "You mean to tell us Skinny, that we can have made up friends and describe how they're totally like 'in love' with us and other people wont laugh or make fun???" SBC:" That's right Fat Guy, no matter where you're from, you can have a virtual sex-life and pretend attractivness....and no-one will ever think of you as a pathetic loser anymore" FWG:" I see our phone lines are lighting up, so dont go away, we'll be right back after I answer this first call.....it's from Louisiana....."

03-22-2004, 04:35 PM	#14
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	Caller - "Yeah, I'd like to order a pizza for delivery, no anchovies." FWG - "No anchovies??? Where'd we get this guy? The Random Thread?" Audience - "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" FWG - "Seriously, folks, you can't afford to turn down an offer like this. In fact, we aren't gonna let you turn it down. If you call, in the next ten minutes, we'll give you, at no extra charge, double on everything! How can you pass on a deal like that? Imagine coming home and finding two Tony Little's plus two imaginary girlfriends in your home? Not to mention two giant pens, and two EZ Franks? You'd be the coolest person in your country! Isn't that right, Skinny?"

03-22-2004, 04:55 PM	#15
dinzdale King of the špatnýs Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: was that dog Posts: 9,411	SBC:"You'd be so 'farking' cool Fat. But dont just take our word for it..here are some actual people, just like you. See how the E-Z Frank changed some of their lives..." roll video clip Testimonial #1 - "It's so easy. That's what struck me. I no longer stayed in my bedroom all day. I found I could pretend to have a job and within a week I was going down to the store and interacting with the cashier. I have so much more confidence, and people always look at me on the street and you can hear them whispering about the size of my pen. I dont think they even notice my ankle-swinger pants anymore. Thank you E-Z Frank"