Are you a lady or a real woman?

[lapietra]

Someone just sent this to me - the last line reminded me of something PFP just posted

Ladies -vs- Real Women

1. Ladies- If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still

cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for

an instant fix-me up.

Real Women- If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too

damn bad. Please recite the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will

eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

************************************************** **

2. Ladies- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on

your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women- Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might

still have the headache, but who cares!

************************************************** **

3. Ladies- Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone

to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for

Pete's sake, you are probably lying down on the couch, with your feet up

anyway!

************************************************** **

4. Ladies- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with

the potatoes.

Real Women- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry

about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

************************************************** **

5. Ladies- When a cake recipe call for flouring the baking pan, use a

bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the

outside of the cake.

Real Women- Go to the bakery- they'll even decorate it for you!

************************************************** **

6. Ladies- Brush some egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a

beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women- Sara Lee frozen freaking pie directions do not include

brushing egg white over anything, so don't do it!

************************************************** **

7. Ladies- If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish

washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women- Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it!

************************************************** **

8. Ladies- Don't throw out all the leftover wine, Freeze into ice cubes

for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women- What leftover wine???

************************************************** **Finally the most important:

9. Ladies- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.

Real Women- A true friend will be sitting next to you saying,

"Damn.....that was fun!"

[lapietra]

BTW - I'm an incorrigible lady...

[sparticle]

Originally posted by lapietra
BTW - I'm an incorrigible lady...

In terms of ladylike qualities, I make Courtney Love look like Princess Grace, but on to the cooking tips.

The biggest newlywed mistake I ever made was letting on that I am a good cook. Once you do, your restaurant jaunts within the framework of a marriage will be severely limited.

Very early on, I should have boiled some plain noodles, fried up some hamburger, mixed the whole thing together with ketchup and hot water and served it up proudly. I would SO have gotten away with more calls to Pizza Hut down through the years.

[Spicy Jack]

Left-over wine? Are they mad?

[Avalon]

Pfft..this probably belongs in the getting older thread,but I too, USED to be a lady. Now that I am older and, I would like to think wiser, I am less so. It is just too much work for me these days


There is never any left over wine because the last person to pour usually just hits off the bottle to kill it.

We have never noticed too much salt in or on anything..probably due to the wine and the laughing.

I will ask the Schwann's guy if there is a glaze on their Key Lime Pie, but I doubt it

Being a lady has it place and time..and I can revert when it is necessary..but I try to avoid those occasions whenever possible.
I don't think of myself as being so much less a lady as I do as being more relaxed. Poor Martha..look where it got her!

[lapietra]

Yeah... I don't think it's such a great thing to be too much of a lady all the time... in this day & age it reads "anal and perfectionistic"...
I'm workin' on it

[Aphrodite]

The actual 'Lady' of the house never had to cook or clean. She had servants to do it for her.

If I had servants I could be a lady. Instead I am stuck with some lady like qualities and a whole Crap load of skill and common sense.

If I was (hang on while I steal a shot of tequila here) (find something to do for a sec...) ok...If I was forced to be a lady, I would lose all my rights, have to wear those really heavy and hot clothes all year round, only get to bathe once a week, and be made to suffer through teas and luncheons. YUCK!

I am a real woman. I make a mess, I clean it up. I make my own decisions.

I wouldn't mind the servants though.

[Avalon]

some real hot male servants..yeah..that could work!! I like it!

[lapietra]

Originally posted by Avalon
some real hot male servants..yeah..that could work!! I like it!

... with big... erm... palm fronds.

[zenbabe]

*sings in best britney spears voice*

'Im not a girl........not yet a woman.....'

oh wait.........

[Avalon]

yes...palm fronds.....large fronds
hmmmmmmmmmm lol

[masterofNone]

Originally posted by Aphrodite
...a whole Crap load of skill and common sense...

that's lady-like.

[zenbabe]

"I want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed!"



I think God wants me to marry Ludacris, it is his destiny! He wrote the song!!

[Avalon]

Oh..zen has heard the calling!!

[priceyfatprude]

I have never been a lady, not even as a small child. But I bet that surprises no one.

And yes, Lala, that is me in a nutshell.