It could only happen to you...

[Klynne]

I named this thread as such because when my family and friends hear of my mishaps they shake their heads and say "It could only happen to you". So tell me odd things that have happened to you that makes others nod knowingly and say, "It could only happen to you" . I will go first. I am quite accident prone:

1. At thirteen I attended a hayride. One of my merry co-party goers smacked me between the shoulder blades and I tumbled off the haywagon and it ran me over. No injuries occurred.

2. When I was 11, my little brother wanted to ride our shetland pony. I hopped on my horse, cornered the pony, and the pony kicked my horse. My horse threw me off and I broke my left wrist.

3. I went to a friends house for Halloween. She had me bunk in an upstairs bedroom. I woke up in the middle of the night, and had to use the bathroom which was located downstairs. I hit the top step and tumbled head first, all the way down. She had decided to polish the steps with pledge. After she did the top step she decided it probably wasn't a good idea. Didn't matter, my wool socks met the top step. No broken bones, just bruised pretty badly.

4. I was playing catch football with a co-worker in a park in D.C. He told me to run deep for the pass, and as I was running backwards to catch the ball, I tripped over my own two feet. I caught myself with my right arm. Unfortunately, I broke my wrist. He took me the ER, and then to the 24 hour pharmacy to get my pain pills. I went to his apartment to stay over so he could look after me. I popped the pain pills and spent an excrutiating sleepless night. I thought "Damn, these pain pills aren't for shvt." The next morning, I checked my pager, and there were about a million pages from the pharmacy. I called them and they informed me they gave me the wrong prescription, it was someone else's. I hope they had a good night

5. When I went to Thailand in January, I accidentally lit my hair on fire in a buddhist temple.

[zenbabe]

ok..so this just happened to me today....

We were at the Walmart super center today to get a calculator and a pair of cheap sunglasses for me since my old pair broke yesterday...that's it...oh, and some shampoo...but we forgot that...instead we got 2 silly DVD's that we probably won't watch anytime soon, gatoraid, toilet paper, a spanish/english translator that was hanging with the calculators and the origional calculator that we went there for in the first place. And I found a pair of cheap sunglasses for $10 (which we both agreed was overpriced as they were in fact very cheap, but I can't drive without them. So we are walking around and the glasses keep falling out of the cart, I pick them up and we are walking towards checkout...

Meanwhile..as J wheels the cart up to checkout, I spot a rack or Arizona postcards, and I recently promised someone I would send him one with a tumbleweed on it. I look through them and cant find one with a tumbleweed so I walk back over to J and we leave the store.

Once outside we stop at a table which I thought might be a job lead but turns out to be a city census on job skills in the area. So we talk with the chick for a while. I notice its bright out and go to put on my sunglasses and notice that the ones I am holding has a price tag on it.

OMG!!

So we are still talking to this chick and answering her questionaire, two store employees walk out and a cop is walking in and I am freaking out. (insert poker face here)

so we get done talking to the chick at the table and are walking to the car and I tell J that we just stole a pair of sunglasses from Walmart. We talked about the options on what to do and finally decide it would be a waste of time and very wierd to walk back in and go through the long ass line, geez, the lady checking store receipts on the way out said we were a lovely couple and wanted to know if we had kids...gawd...

So anyway..I feel really bad still......

[priceyfatprude]

I would tell you, but it happened in bed, and is wayyyy too personal.

Instead, I will tell you this: I am not a lot unlike Alicia Silverstone in Clueless--the part where she's watching the movie w/Christian & she goes to toss her hair & look all sexy & ends up falling off the bed.

That is very much like what happened. I tried to be all sexy & ended up looking like a dork.

[sparticle]

My husband was to HERE with my bringing home stray animals. (At one point four years ago, we had eight cats.) We had just had a big to-do about it, a really nasty row, and he said he didn't want me to so much as set foot in the local animal shelter. So, that day, I spitefully thought, "Hmm! Show YOU who's boss," and went down to the animal shelter. "Just visiting," of course.

As I was petting kitties in their cages, I heard a group of people come into the building making quite a to-do.

It was the local TV news crew, cameras, "star" interviewer and all. I wound up on the 5, 6 and 11 p.m. news.

Thank Christ I didn't decide to commit adultery out of spite that day instead; CNN correspondents probably would have showed up at the house with Aaron Brown back in the studio giving everyone progress reports. "Okay...our audio is a little fuzzy here but I understand they've disposed of the contraceptive...can we get a video feed here? No? Okay....we will be keeping you updated throughout the night as more comes in....throughout this very...long...night....lots of us are very tired here but rest assured, we will be giving you details as they come in...."

[madasacutsnake]

I'm sorry to say I have a couple.

1. When I was training to be a nurse, the lecturer was showing some pictures of a man with an STD. In horror, I burst out with "OMG, it's gone black!". Yup, he was a black fellow *cringe*

2. When I was 16, my friend and I were walking around the local pool generally thinking we looked cool and just loving the amount of attention we were getting from the boys. Wasn't till the end of the day that I realised that my t****n string was hanging out the side front of my costume......

[priceyfatprude]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

At least one of the boys didn't point & say, "You have a string hanging from your shorts" and try to yank it.

[madasacutsnake]

At least one of the boys didn't point & say, "You have a string hanging from your shorts" and try to yank it.

OK, I left that part out.

[Magpie]

Originally posted by zenbabe
ok..so this just happened to me today....

We were at the Walmart super center today to get a calculator and a pair of cheap sunglasses for me since my old pair broke yesterday...that's it...oh, and some shampoo...but we forgot that...instead we got 2 silly DVD's that we probably won't watch anytime soon, gatoraid, toilet paper, a spanish/english translator that was hanging with the calculators and the origional calculator that we went there for in the first place. And I found a pair of cheap sunglasses for $10 (which we both agreed was overpriced as they were in fact very cheap, but I can't drive without them. So we are walking around and the glasses keep falling out of the cart, I pick them up and we are walking towards checkout...

Meanwhile..as J wheels the cart up to checkout, I spot a rack or Arizona postcards, and I recently promised someone I would send him one with a tumbleweed on it. I look through them and cant find one with a tumbleweed so I walk back over to J and we leave the store.

Once outside we stop at a table which I thought might be a job lead but turns out to be a city census on job skills in the area. So we talk with the chick for a while. I notice its bright out and go to put on my sunglasses and notice that the ones I am holding has a price tag on it.

OMG!!

So we are still talking to this chick and answering her questionaire, two store employees walk out and a cop is walking in and I am freaking out. (insert poker face here)

so we get done talking to the chick at the table and are walking to the car and I tell J that we just stole a pair of sunglasses from Walmart. We talked about the options on what to do and finally decide it would be a waste of time and very wierd to walk back in and go through the long ass line, geez, the lady checking store receipts on the way out said we were a lovely couple and wanted to know if we had kids...gawd...

So anyway..I feel really bad still......

I bought a new mop a while back, got home and tore the van apart looking for it... didn't find it, got pissed that the checker at WalMart had probably forgotten to put in my cart.

I get my receipt out, yep...paid for it so back to Wally World I go waving my receipt, "I paid for this!"... Bring another one home, go to hang it up in the garage and see one 'just like it' hanging there. Ask husb where it came from, "Oh I found it under the seat in the van." I took the now 'stolen' one back to Wal Mart and explained, the girl said "You'd be surpirsed how many people do that." Ahemmm.

[Magpie]

Not my "only me" story (thank god) but my husbands.

Years ago he had the brilliant idea of going roller skating to a roller rink. My husband is NOT the roller skating type, trust me. So two things happened:

1) He was skating (amazing in itself) around the rink and realized he couldn't stop, went through the Emergency Exit, outside and down a flight of steps :O

If that weren't enough...

2) Same scenario, skating... couldn't stop, went flying out the rink opening, (out of control) into the Mens bathroom and broke the mirror before finally stopping.

Needless to say, he hasn't tried rollerskating again.

[Klynne]

Originally posted by madasacutsnake
I'm sorry to say I have a couple.

1. When I was training to be a nurse, the lecturer was showing some pictures of a man with an STD. In horror, I burst out with "OMG, it's gone black!". Yup, he was a black fellow *cringe*

2. When I was 16, my friend and I were walking around the local pool generally thinking we looked cool and just loving the amount of attention we were getting from the boys. Wasn't till the end of the day that I realised that my t****n string was hanging out the side front of my costume......

HEHEHEHEHEH

[Klynne]

Originally posted by Magpie
Not my "only me" story (thank god) but my husbands.

Years ago he had the brilliant idea of going roller skating to a roller rink. My husband is NOT the roller skating type, trust me. So two things happened:

1) He was skating (amazing in itself) around the rink and realized he couldn't stop, went through the Emergency Exit, outside and down a flight of steps :O

If that weren't enough...

2) Same scenario, skating... couldn't stop, went flying out the rink opening, (out of control) into the Mens bathroom and broke the mirror before finally stopping.

Needless to say, he hasn't tried rollerskating again.

[Audreyvgs]

I was skating with a bunch of business friends, and tried to do something silly, and fell, nearly smashing a kid in the process, but instead of like sliding, on that plastic floor i STUCK, but my shorts didn't and the client behind me must have seen all the way to Christmas!!!!! As i hobbled out, i knew i wasnt going to be leaving the house soon, as it was it was like 3 mo. before I could move, my back was totally screwed up

I got my toe stuck in a drain once....High School, gym locker room. Damn near had to break it off to get it out, Im sure as hell glad I had my towel with me!

[Avalon]

Well, besides the great "sliding under the bus" episode in highschool (in a different thread ) I have several

When my husband and I decided to get married, we were broke..realllllllly broke. So, it was downtown to be married by a judge. My brother, who was all of 15 at the time, came along.
The only judge who was available was a criminal case judge. What did we care..as long as it was legal So, on we went.
That is when we found out the room full of people, most of which were accompanied by legal counsel, were the criminals. They were there for sentencing.
So, there we sat. Pretty soon they called our names. As we walked past the entire room of people, one guy asked my husband "What do you think you're going to get?" To which my smarta$$ed little brother asnwered "He's been sentenced to life"
Nice.

Then there was the time we were shopping at our local K-Mart in the dead of winter. the rug was soaked and as I stepped into the foyer of the store, both feet went out from under me and I landed on my back. Today, I would sue, but then, I was just too stunned and embarrassed My beloved came to my aid, lifted me up and dusted me off in front of what seemed like 100 people. As we walked into the store I said " Oh honey, I am so impressed" As he walked away he said " Any time Lady; hope you're not hurt bad"
Oh, yeah, we're still married; it took about a year of groveling for me to forgive him

[nycwriters]

Dude, my friends say "it could only happen to you" so often, it's on repeat.

The only thing I can think of without the benefit of coffee right now is that I once dated a has-been rock star. After three dates I decided it wasn't meant to be and broke it off. He began stalking me and sending me obscene photos via email and leaving obscene messages on my answering machine. When he started showing up at my work, I had to get my very first restraining order.

Whee!

Now I'm not anything special or particularly gorgeous -- my thoughts are that he was so used to having women throw themselves at him, that it affronted him when I seemingly was the only woman to say "no" to him.

Ah, yeah, it could "only happen to me".

Blah

[Klynne]

Originally posted by nycwriters
Dude, my friends say "it could only happen to you" so often, it's on repeat.

The only thing I can think of without the benefit of coffee right now is that I once dated a has-been rock star. After three dates I decided it wasn't meant to be and broke it off. He began stalking me and sending me obscene photos via email and leaving obscene messages on my answering machine. When he started showing up at my work, I had to get my very first restraining order.

Whee!

Now I'm not anything special or particularly gorgeous -- my thoughts are that he was so used to having women throw themselves at him, that it affronted him when I seemingly was the only woman to say "no" to him.


Ah, yeah, it could "only happen to me".

Blah

Wow, make mental note to self not to date washed up rock stars! That is scary.

Oh, and I think you are special