Hellfire and Damnation in Coffee Houses

[Klynne]

One of my co-workers brought this little treat in to the office. It was plastered all over downtown Grand Rapids. We had a good laugh about it and are thinking about posting or own reply which would be “We love you, just as Jesus does”

Love the Coffee Hooligans

Sorry this is so long, but I didn’t write it. Lets come up with some responses for this racist bigoted jerk.

This guy is a nut case…. Here is the flier for your reading pleasure.

WHY DO WE LET THIS CONTINUE?

Local coffeehouse and “den of sin” a travesty.

As a concerned citizen, I feel it necessary to point out one of the more glaring threats to the safety and security of our city. As a minister and a parent, the threat posed to our children by Morningstar 76 Café (and now Morningstar 75) is impossible to ignore. In the three years the café has been disrupting the Eastown community, the effects on our children have been nothing short of staggering. “Punk rock” hooligans milling about at all hours of the night, smoking not only allowed be encouraged, whispers of pedophilia, pornography, dancing and more running rampant…As concerned parents and Christians, we cannot ignore this threat any longer. I am asking all of you to come together to help remove these blights from our neighborhoods and restore some of the family values we have let them destroy. Their blatant anti Bush statements, their support of fair-trade coffee importing (putting decent Americans out of work in the favor of Mexican farmers who contribute nothing to our country), their pushing Alternative music (or “indie-rock” or “punk” nonsense), their attempts to “improve” Grand Rapids by catering to its underbelly have all GOT TO STOP. How long can we let this continue? What will you do when your child comes home reeking of smoke with their eyebrow pieced? Will you say it’s a “phase?” Will you sit back and ignore it? Somehow, by our own ignorance, we have let them open ANOTHER coffeeshop downtown, this one with theatre attached to promote the noise they describe as music. It might not be a 24 hour establishment like its sister store, but its influence is the same, and more of our precious children will be corrupted by their decadence and immorality. I am calling for boycotts, picketing, and any other action you as a concerned party would feel to be effective in shutting down this travesty of “independent business” before the damage is irreversible.

SOME FACTS ABOUT MORNINGSTAR 76:

1. As an influence on the community, Morningstar 76 encourages smoking, which is known to be a gateway to drug use and premarital sex.

2. Their 24 hour establishment promotes crime in Eastown

3. The owner is only 24 years old, and has been accused of pedophilia, drunk driving, pornography, anti-establishment rhetoric and terrorism.

4. They have no church affiliation, and in fact often speak openly against organized religion.

5. They are openly supportive of equal rights for lesbians and gays.

6. Their “fair trade” coffee (all they serve) is detrimental to the American economy

7. They have been known to openly speak out against President Bush, referring to him as a “megalomanical Nazi”

8. Their new location at 10 Weston is specifically aimed at college age residents, complete with free wireless internet and couches.

9. Morningstar 76 and Morningstar 75 are both havens for the impoverished, disaffected, and criminal elements of our city.

Please help stop this threat in any way you can, before its too late.

Rev. JDF, Church of Spiritual Humanism.

[lapietra]

I always knew Coffee was big trouble.

[priceyfatprude]

Originally posted by Klynne
5. They are openly supportive of equal rights for lesbians and gays.

What a loving, Christian thing to say.

I hope someone bends you over one of your pews, you intolerant motherf*cker.

Or that one of your children is gay.

How come these f*ckers always forget what are perhaps the most important passages in the Bible?

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

[Klynne]

I did not know the US was such a large producer of Coffee, and we are putting the US Coffee industry out of business by importing Free Trade Coffee. In church, the priest promoted buying Free Trade products because the people that work for these companies are paid better wages, and have better working conditions.... I don't know too much about Free Trade products though...

A den of sin!!!!
These hooligans must be stopped, by any means necessary!
How dare these derned red commie liberals abuse the first amendment so!
Freedom of speech is one thing, but these people are badmouthing the president!
Worst of all, I heard one of them say that his holiness Jerry Falwell is the epitome of evil!
I am shocked and flabbergasted.

[nycwriters]

SOME FACTS ABOUT MORNINGSTAR 76:

1. As an influence on the community, Morningstar 76 encourages smoking, which is known to be a gateway to drug use and premarital sex.

Well THAT'S what happened to me.

2. Their 24 hour establishment promotes crime in Eastown

Ask them to provide facts backing this up. Making generalized statements without backup is libelous. Read: they could be sued.

3. The owner is only 24 years old, and has been accused of pedophilia, drunk driving, pornography, anti-establishment rhetoric and terrorism.

Accused is totally different from convicted. Again, these folks better watch their asses, because this is pure libel -- libel is anything that would A: lower the views of the average person to this individual B: causes loss of income and a third thing I can't remember at the moment. But these outrageous statements, considering the guy hasn't been charged are very risky to say.

4. They have no church affiliation, and in fact often speak openly against organized religion.

Yes because it's mandatory to have church affiliation in order to be an upstanding individual. Sheesh.

5. They are openly supportive of equal rights for lesbians and gays.

Oh my God. You have to be kidding me. Holy crap GALA or any other gay or lesbian group gets hold of this and there will be mayhem. This kind of comment just reinforces their ignorance.

6. Their “fair trade” coffee (all they serve) is detrimental to the American economy.

buh?

7. They have been known to openly speak out against President Bush, referring to him as a “megalomanical Nazi”

Hahahahahahahaha ... Klynne, rip this part off the poster and photocopy a copy of the First Amendment and tack it underneath it. See if they can figure it out.

8. Their new location at 10 Weston is specifically aimed at college age residents, complete with free wireless internet and couches.

Oh yes, HELLFIRE! HOW DARE THEY?!!! Good grief these people are idiots.

Are you sure this whole thing isn't some clever ad campaign by Morninstar to seem "edgy/cool" and garner some free publicity? Cos that sounds like an advertisement for services.

9. Morningstar 76 and Morningstar 75 are both havens for the impoverished, disaffected, and criminal elements of our city.

Again. Libel. Proof please.


Please help stop this threat in any way you can, before its too late.

Rev. JDF, Church of Spiritual Humanism.

Ok I looked them up and apparently they're loosely related to the Wiccan religion.

Click

and

encyclopeadic defn't

But

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[Klynne]

9. Morningstar 76 and Morningstar 75 are both havens for the impoverished, disaffected, and criminal elements of our city.

This line slays me because I have been taught as a Christian (my parents taught me the same thing as just being a human being) to reach out to the poor, impoverished and disaffected. They preach this in the church I go to. This guy is heartless....

[Willow Sylph]

That guy is so ridiculous it's almost funny. It's too bad, though, that the most narrow-minded, idiotic, and conservative of religious people are the ones who speak out and make their presence known. It gives a bad name to all the normal, kind-hearted, open, and giving, religious people.

[Willow Sylph]

Ok I looked them up and apparently they're loosely related to the Wiccan religion.

I'm actually quite surprised. In defense of Wiccans, I don't know any who are that biased or fanatical OR stupid, for that matter.

[sparticle]

Originally posted by Willow Sylph
I'm actually quite surprised. In defense of Wiccans, I don't know any who are that biased or fanatical OR stupid, for that matter.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was some crank trying to give the Wiccans a bad name too.

Religion is such a bunch of.....

Okay; let's not get started on THAT rant....

But really -- this is so intolerant it sounds almost like a prank.

Good God! Ooops, I said I wasn't going to get started on that....

It reminds me of a sticker I found affixed to a gas pump one day. It said something like: “we must write our government to tell them to send these minorities back home. They are lazy, sloppy, and they are taking our jobs…” etc. I peeled it off & threw it in the trash.

satan uses dsl, apparently. And he drinks free trade coffee because he hates America.

[priceyfatprude]

Like on South Park last night.

"They took our jerrrrrrrrbs"

this guy is so obviously not in touch with the mothership. He needs a headcheese sandwich like it’s nobody’s business.

[Klynne]

Originally posted by sparticle
I wouldn't be surprised if it was some crank trying to give the Wiccans a bad name too.

Religion is such a bunch of.....

Okay; let's not get started on THAT rant....

But really -- this is so intolerant it sounds almost like a prank.

Good God! Ooops, I said I wasn't going to get started on that....

I will try to look this guy up in the white pages tomorrow. I edited his flier to leave off his full name out of "respect" for him. Maybe it is a prank, but wow, these were plastered all over downtown. Except for the alleged pediophilia, made me interested in seeing what this place was all about, add a little excitement to my life!