Strange pick up lines or pick up stories - ZEFRANK.COM

Klynne · 06-10-2004, 09:55 PM

Post odd pick up lines or pick up attempts.

This was said to me last Friday night. My friend and I went to a club. This younger man walked up to me and said:

"You remind me of my aunt. Would you like to dance?"

At least he did not tell me I reminded him of his mother.

This happened today. I was walking up to my house and this guy started beeping his car horn at me. I waved, I thought I must know him somehow. He pulled up and said,

"How are you doing baby girl?"

"Fine thanks," I said.

"Do you have a boyfriend or are you married?"

Me lying through my teeth "Yes, I live with someone."

Him, "Well, do you like to make new friends, can I have your number?"

Me, "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."

Him, "O.K. bye sweet thing."

Avalon · 06-10-2004, 10:38 PM

My beloved brother was a weirdo.

Always calling me with some lame line he heard like:

Did you wash your panties in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.

You must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

There are about a hundred more than I can't think of at this moment, but they were all completely lame and made me laugh hard whenever he called me with a new one.

Klynne · 06-10-2004, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Avalon
My beloved brother was a weirdo. Always calling me with some lame line he heard like:

Did you wash your panties in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.

You must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

There are about a hundred more than I can't think of at this moment, but they were all completely lame and made me laugh hard whenever he called me with a new one.

HAHAHA

*hugs*

nycwriters · 06-10-2004, 11:23 PM

One of my best friends calls me up at work and tries to get past me with strange voices. Or he'll call and start singing Celine Dion songs. I guess this doesn't fit per se with the pick up stories, because he's not trying to pick me up (we're buds), but the stuff he does is amusing.

Here is a brief collage of some of the emails I've gotten from him:

I invented a new word. It's "monkeyous." Pronounced
MUN-kee-us. The definition is: containing or
characterized by monkeys. To give you an idea of the
proper usage, I've written a poem incorporating the
term.

-----------------------------------------

SONG OF THE CELESTIAL BACON BITS
by Tom

In boundless cobalt night
My soul careens through monkeyous jungles
And hearkens to howls of feral burritos
As Peg folds the boxer shorts
Of gods long forgotten
Alas

-------------------------------------------

I hope this one gets through. I may have messed
something up with the previous one, because I was
drunk when I sent it. That also partially explains
this poem, which I wrote for you when I was royally
shitfaced, and was trying to send you with the
previous e-mail. I call it: "Meditations on
the Ethereal Sump Pump" (Alternate title: "That Peg is
One Hot Mamma")

It goes like this:
Within cloistered dreams of the spongy marmot,
Peg whirls in an effervescent dance of night,
As steaming gorilla turds
Pelt the fields of woe
Alas.

------------------------------

I'm a giant, talking rutabaga named Ignacio! Moooo!

--------------------------------------------

And that's but a sampling. God I love this guy.... he's a sweetheart (and single too, ladies)....

Klynne · 06-10-2004, 11:28 PM

HEHEHEHE. Single???Hmmm. But if he sings Celine Dion songs, are you sure he is interested in ladies?

He sounds like a lot of fun. When I win at the airport in Vegas, I will send him a ticket too.

nycwriters · 06-10-2004, 11:30 PM

Oh he definately like girls ... he sings those because he hates Dion and knows everyone hates her so when he does it he hams it up and sings really loudly.

He won a stand up comedy trophy for York County a number of years back -- he's one of those naturally funny people.

edited to add after Klynne's add

Well chances are you'll never find him home. Not that I'm painting him to be a saint or anything, but he has a buddy with severe cp and he spends weekends hauling him and his wheelchair up mountains to go camping. Or he's off doing karate. Or he's drunk off his ass. Heh.

Klynne · 06-10-2004, 11:34 PM

O.K. that is it, I am going to marry him. Bring him with you and we will go to a nice casino chapel. The next day we can have the marriage annulled. Boy, my publicists will be busy this weekend!

sparticle · 06-11-2004, 09:20 PM

Hahaha!!!

Mr. Sparticle called using a "stranger" voice and said he was from the FBI and wanted to know if, since he was from the bureau, he could get into my drawers.

At least, I hope to Christ it was Mr. Sparticle. LOL

sparticle · 06-11-2004, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nycwriters
-----------------------------------------

SONG OF THE CELESTIAL BACON BITS
by Tom

In boundless cobalt night
My soul careens through monkeyous jungles
And hearkens to howls of feral burritos
As Peg folds the boxer shorts
Of gods long forgotten
Alas

-------------------------------------------

------------------------------

I'm a giant, talking rutabaga named Ignacio! Moooo!

--------------------------------------------

And that's but a sampling. God I love this guy.... he's a sweetheart (and single too, ladies)....

This guy is a goddam genius. I'd love to be on his email list -- I love wildass exchanges like this. He sounds like a crazy old friend of mine. My friend isn't old, that is, but we've known each other forever and he's crazy. LOL

xerocs · 06-11-2004, 10:19 PM

God, I want to meet this guy... he sounds charming and too good to be true... I need lessons.

06-10-2004, 09:55 PM	#1
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Strange pick up lines or pick up stories Post odd pick up lines or pick up attempts. This was said to me last Friday night. My friend and I went to a club. This younger man walked up to me and said: "You remind me of my aunt. Would you like to dance?" At least he did not tell me I reminded him of his mother. This happened today. I was walking up to my house and this guy started beeping his car horn at me. I waved, I thought I must know him somehow. He pulled up and said, "How are you doing baby girl?" "Fine thanks," I said. "Do you have a boyfriend or are you married?" Me lying through my teeth "Yes, I live with someone." Him, "Well, do you like to make new friends, can I have your number?" Me, "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much." Him, "O.K. bye sweet thing."

06-10-2004, 10:38 PM	#2
Avalon Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: A much better place Posts: 5,931	My beloved brother was a weirdo. Always calling me with some lame line he heard like: Did you wash your panties in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them. You must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day. There are about a hundred more than I can't think of at this moment, but they were all completely lame and made me laugh hard whenever he called me with a new one. __________________ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

06-10-2004, 11:23 PM	#4
nycwriters Stuck in T.O. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Floundering Posts: 4,134	One of my best friends calls me up at work and tries to get past me with strange voices. Or he'll call and start singing Celine Dion songs. I guess this doesn't fit per se with the pick up stories, because he's not trying to pick me up (we're buds), but the stuff he does is amusing. Here is a brief collage of some of the emails I've gotten from him: I invented a new word. It's "monkeyous." Pronounced MUN-kee-us. The definition is: containing or characterized by monkeys. To give you an idea of the proper usage, I've written a poem incorporating the term. ----------------------------------------- SONG OF THE CELESTIAL BACON BITS by Tom In boundless cobalt night My soul careens through monkeyous jungles And hearkens to howls of feral burritos As Peg folds the boxer shorts Of gods long forgotten Alas ------------------------------------------- I hope this one gets through. I may have messed something up with the previous one, because I was drunk when I sent it. That also partially explains this poem, which I wrote for you when I was royally shitfaced, and was trying to send you with the previous e-mail. I call it: "Meditations on the Ethereal Sump Pump" (Alternate title: "That Peg is One Hot Mamma") It goes like this: Within cloistered dreams of the spongy marmot, Peg whirls in an effervescent dance of night, As steaming gorilla turds Pelt the fields of woe Alas. ------------------------------ I'm a giant, talking rutabaga named Ignacio! Moooo! -------------------------------------------- And that's but a sampling. God I love this guy.... he's a sweetheart (and single too, ladies)....

06-10-2004, 11:28 PM	#5
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	HEHEHEHE. Single???Hmmm. But if he sings Celine Dion songs, are you sure he is interested in ladies? He sounds like a lot of fun. When I win at the airport in Vegas, I will send him a ticket too.

06-10-2004, 11:30 PM	#6
nycwriters Stuck in T.O. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Floundering Posts: 4,134	Oh he definately like girls ... he sings those because he hates Dion and knows everyone hates her so when he does it he hams it up and sings really loudly. He won a stand up comedy trophy for York County a number of years back -- he's one of those naturally funny people. edited to add after Klynne's add Well chances are you'll never find him home. Not that I'm painting him to be a saint or anything, but he has a buddy with severe cp and he spends weekends hauling him and his wheelchair up mountains to go camping. Or he's off doing karate. Or he's drunk off his ass. Heh.

06-10-2004, 11:34 PM	#7
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	O.K. that is it, I am going to marry him. Bring him with you and we will go to a nice casino chapel. The next day we can have the marriage annulled. Boy, my publicists will be busy this weekend!

06-11-2004, 09:20 PM	#8
sparticle Conspiracy Theorist Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cleveland, oh Posts: 4,702	Hahaha!!! Mr. Sparticle called using a "stranger" voice and said he was from the FBI and wanted to know if, since he was from the bureau, he could get into my drawers. At least, I hope to Christ it was Mr. Sparticle. LOL

06-11-2004, 10:19 PM	#10
xerocs Lurk Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Rapid City, SoDak Posts: 1,341	God, I want to meet this guy... he sounds charming and too good to be true... I need lessons.