Don't be That Guy.

[priceyfatprude]

Usually, 665 is not a place for public service anouncements, but I felt it was time. Dear Reader, I would like to tell you about a phenomenon I call "That Guy," and why you should endeavor to avoid it in your life.

I think the best way to explain it is this: That Guy is everywhere. He is not always a guy, either. That Guy is someone we deal with every day, and we all hate him. Even so, sometimes we are him. That Guy does not care how inconvenienced others are. He does not care who he pisses off. As long as he is happy, no one else matters to him.

Have you ever nearly gotten killed because you were driving somewhere with a clearly marked ENTER and EXIT, and some asshole came out the entrance and damn near hit you? Then you've experienced the courteous, attentive driving of That Guy. If you've ever been in a movie theater only to hear someone blathering constantly about the movie, or dinner, or whatever they felt blather-worthy, or god ****ing forbid been unable to pay attention because of someone talking on a cell phone, you can rest assured that you were being serenaded by the dulcet annoying tones of That Guy. Going Christmas shopping? That Guy was too lazy to hire a sitter, so you're going to have to deal with the piercing scream of That Guy Jr. who sees toys he wants but can't have them, as his parents have secretly purchased them already. Perhaps That Guy will demonstrate his amazing parenting skills and smack his child, you know. so it will stop crying.

The problem with That Guy is not that he's stupid; it's that he's a dick. He certainly knows that others are being ****ed over, but he just plain does not care. For whatever reason, That Guy believes that everyone on Earth should suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...except him. He's the cockcheese that lies to his insurance company and sticks you with a huge payment. He's the ****head that bitches to the people at the movie theater refreshment counter about how high the prices are, like they can do shit about it. He's the ass goblin who feels the need to spill hot coffee in himself and then sue McDonald's. That Guy wants everyone else on the planet to pay for the fact that he can't just put up and quit bitching.

So that's my plea to you, readers. For the love of God, do anything you can to avoid being That Guy. If you get pulled over for a ticket when everyone else was speeding too, just shut up and take it, and don't bitch the cop out. It sucks being ticketed, but today it's you and tomorrow it'll be someone else. If you're at a store and feel the prices are too high, just suck it up and deal with it. The people behind the counter won't be swayed if you ask for a discount. Most likely they will recognize you as That Guy and hate you. No matter how much something sucks, if it's something that anyone else deals with then it's not something that needs to be unnecessarily circumvented or bitched about. Just do like anyone, and cope. Everyone's a little guilty sometimes, but please. For the good of us all.

Try not to be That Guy.


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