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08-18-2004, 08:26 PM
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#1 |
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Conspiracy Theorist
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: cleveland, oh
Posts: 4,702
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RNC Agenda
Monday, August 16, 2004
Republican National Convention Day One Agenda Revised, August 2004 06:00pm - Opening prayer led by Billy Graham 06:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer led by Fred Phelps 06:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers 06:45pm - New energy policy presented by Enron 07:00pm - Canonization of Ronald Reagan 07:15pm - Additional prayers 07:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton 08:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay 08:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton 08:30pm - Stoning of a homosexual 08:45pm - New healthcare policies presented by Kaiser-Permanente 09:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBD) 09:15pm - Halliburton contributes $1.4 billion to Republican party 09:30pm - Reagan elevated to Savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "The Quad" 09:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan 10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ronald Reagan Jr and tells him to go fvck himself 10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea 10:30pm - Burning at stake of girl who had abortion after being raped by cousin 10:45pm - Dancing around golden calf 11:00pm - Stoning of another homosexual 11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser 11:45pm - Thank God for his wisdom in appointing Bush as president 12:00pm - Two hours of closing prayers led by Pope John Paul II 02:00am - European hookers arrive for delegate entertainment
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There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there." -- trisherina |
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08-18-2004, 10:04 PM
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#2 |
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Blue's Clues
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh?
Posts: 5,412
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08-18-2004, 11:08 PM
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#3 |
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MR. Smartypants to you.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Oh, YOU PEOPLE go ahead and call it "Frisco." See if I care.
Posts: 3,967
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Now we know where to send Malarkey at 8:30 PM!
(Sorry, that was beneath me, but I couldn't resist.)
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"I don't think God wants us to believe in him. If he wanted us to believe in him he'd do something about it -- like exist perhaps!" --Linda Smith |
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08-18-2004, 11:13 PM
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#4 | |
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: A much better place
Posts: 5,931
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Quote:
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx |
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08-18-2004, 11:14 PM
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#5 |
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no more nice girl
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,054
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He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all. |
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