What would Hitler do?

[zenbabe]

What Would Hitler Do?

The economy is tanking.
My poll number's down, too.
There’s protesters outside my door
All saying they’ve been screwed.

The Europeans hate me.
They call me crude and dumb.
Jim Jeffords left and took my toys
And now I’m feeling glum.

So I call my Dad and ask,
“Have you heard the news?
The liberals are finally fighting back.
Can I use the nukes?

You promised I could be in charge.
You said I’d be top gun.
You said I’d always have my way.
This isn’t any fun.”

Poppy’s voice was calm and clear.
He said, “Son don’t be blue.
Just stand up straight and ask yourself,
Now What Would Hitler Do?"

Boy that really took me back
To my gay old childhood years,
When schoolyard bullies jumped on me
And grabbed my handles-for-blow-job ears.

And Dad would say, “Don’t worry, Shrub,
About those big old ears,
That low IQ, that stupid smirk…
Just wipe away those tears.

And I'll tell you a true story
About a vast empire
Run by someone just like you
Who started with a fire.”

And Dad would talk of Adolf;
He had my big ears too.
They said he’d never 'mount to much
‘Cause he never finished school.

But Adolf, he just waited
Until the time was right
And Germany was desperate
It's economy was tight.

He showed those Europeans
And those pinko liberals, too.
He got those evil-doers:
The gypsies, gays, and Jews.

“And so,” Daddy would tell me
“Whenever you think you’re through,
just sit awhile and ask yourself,
now, "What Would Hitler Do?”

I thanked my Daddy warmly.
And told him I felt swell
Now all I need’s a good excuse
To blow someone to hell.

I know that there’s no Reichstag here
To burn and blame the jew
But this country’s full of sky-scrapers
Hmmmm… What Would Hitler Do?