Can't win - ZEFRANK.COM

Klynne · 09-23-2004, 08:12 PM

Well, last night I had a spat with my boyfriend. We normally get along really well, but once in awhile we have it out.

He introduces me to his friends, and then he accuses me of hitting on them, or doing something to embarass him. There is no defending myself. Most of the time, he just comes out of the blue with this stuff and blind sides me with it. I know I should just walk away because it won't get any better.

Anyone have to deal with jealousy like this?

rmr · 09-23-2004, 08:17 PM

klynne i'm sorry to hear that and i hope you don't think i'm too insensitive but jealousy a BAD thing and correct me if i'm wrong but you guys haven't been dating very long, have you?? If he's already showing you his jealous side it's only going to get worse..........trust me...i've been through this.

cut your losses while your ahead.....again i'm sorry...i'm not trying to be a beeyatch......just trying to be honest.

good luck.

Klynne · 09-23-2004, 08:22 PM

Yep RmR it is a bad thing. I am a friendly person and I am only trying to be nice to his friends, am I supposed to be a jerk to them? I know you are right.

Avalon · 09-23-2004, 09:05 PM

Sorry hon, have to go along with RMR on this one. It is just a symptom of a larger problem with this guy. How long til he resorts to physical abuse now that the verbal has already started? This guy has alot of issues you don't want to contend with, trust me.

You deserve better.

Klynne · 09-23-2004, 09:13 PM

Thanks Avalon, no need to apologize, you or RmR, I know this stuff. it is hard for me to walk away because most of the time we get along so well. But, these incidents are happening more often. I know what is best for me, but I am slow to act.

Avalon · 09-23-2004, 09:17 PM

We love ya. We are worried for your safety.

don't take too long; he will take it as a sign that you accept his behaviour as correct.

Klynne · 09-23-2004, 09:23 PM

Thanks Avalon. I will take care of it. How, I don't know yet. Thanks for your concern though. I lurves ya all too.

zenbabe · 09-23-2004, 11:57 PM

GET OUT NOW!! Take if from me, I have had 3 stalkers, and it all started with the jealousy crap!

Not only is it such a fvcked up emotion, but people that are jealous also have been know to be the cheating kind and are just guilty about it, so they project it onto you.

The longer you stay together, the harder it is going to be to break up. Listen to your heart and act accordingly.

Audreyvgs · 09-24-2004, 12:16 AM

Jealousy doesnt happen much in a sane relationship..

melissa · 09-24-2004, 01:01 AM

This thread is full of truth and wisdom.

sparticle · 09-24-2004, 01:23 AM

If he's jealous, he's dangerous. I know whereof I speak. Everyone else is right and I am joining the chorus. A guy who's picking at stuff like "how you make him look in front of his friends", for Christ's sake, has got SERIOUS issues. If he doesn't abuse you physically yet, he at the very least will abuse you psychologically. In fact, he already is. Walk. It's not worth it, and it's not going to get better.

Sorry to come off as harsh and judgmental, but I really and truly know what I'm talking about here, having been there, and I care about you.

Red Princess · 09-24-2004, 02:01 AM

i told you he is the devil. and you are in danger. run for your life

priceyfatprude · 09-24-2004, 02:08 AM

First, I just want to say you are much nicer/tolerant than I am.

Quote:

Originally posted by Klynne
Well, last night I had a spat with my boyfriend. We normally get along really well, but once in awhile we have it out.

He introduces me to his friends, and then he accuses me of hitting on them

To this my response would be, "So am I supposed to not be nice to your friends? I should be bitchy to them? Is that what you want? You forgot to give me the script, don't let it happen again."

Quote:

, or doing something to embarass him.

Were you talking about his noodle? If yes, you should know better. Noodle discussions are best left to your girlfriends on M&M Night (margaritas & martinis).

If not, my response would be, "Next time I will just sit on the couch & not say boo to anyone. Would that make you feel better? Maybe I should just stay home, or better yet, go somewhere with MY friends so I don't embarrass you."

Or if you want to make him feel like a worthless piece of shit, start crying. Then through your tears, try to talk. Say things like, "All I wanted was for your f-f-f-f-friends to l-l-l-like meeeeeeeee. *sob*" or "I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry I embarrassssss youuuuu. *sniff*"

Seriously, jealousy/possessiveness doesn't fly with me. At that point I stop answering calls altogether, and make myself unvailable for plans.

melissa · 09-24-2004, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by priceyfatprude

Seriously, jealousy/possessiveness doesn't fly with me. At that point I stop answering calls altogether, and make myself unvailable for plans.

ditto.

madasacutsnake · 09-24-2004, 07:10 AM

No. No. No.

Get the brazilian and give it to some other guy.

09-23-2004, 08:12 PM	#1
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Can't win Well, last night I had a spat with my boyfriend. We normally get along really well, but once in awhile we have it out. He introduces me to his friends, and then he accuses me of hitting on them, or doing something to embarass him. There is no defending myself. Most of the time, he just comes out of the blue with this stuff and blind sides me with it. I know I should just walk away because it won't get any better. Anyone have to deal with jealousy like this?

09-23-2004, 09:05 PM	#4
Avalon Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: A much better place Posts: 5,931	Sorry hon, have to go along with RMR on this one. It is just a symptom of a larger problem with this guy. How long til he resorts to physical abuse now that the verbal has already started? This guy has alot of issues you don't want to contend with, trust me. You deserve better. __________________ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

09-23-2004, 09:17 PM	#6
Avalon Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: A much better place Posts: 5,931	We love ya. We are worried for your safety. don't take too long; he will take it as a sign that you accept his behaviour as correct. __________________ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

09-23-2004, 09:23 PM	#7
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Thanks Avalon. I will take care of it. How, I don't know yet. Thanks for your concern though. I lurves ya all too. Last edited by Klynne : 09-23-2004 at 09:36 PM.

09-23-2004, 11:57 PM	#8
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	GET OUT NOW!! Take if from me, I have had 3 stalkers, and it all started with the jealousy crap! Not only is it such a fvcked up emotion, but people that are jealous also have been know to be the cheating kind and are just guilty about it, so they project it onto you. The longer you stay together, the harder it is going to be to break up. Listen to your heart and act accordingly. __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

09-23-2004, 08:17 PM	#2
rmr Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,595	klynne i'm sorry to hear that and i hope you don't think i'm too insensitive but jealousy a BAD thing and correct me if i'm wrong but you guys haven't been dating very long, have you?? If he's already showing you his jealous side it's only going to get worse..........trust me...i've been through this. cut your losses while your ahead.....again i'm sorry...i'm not trying to be a beeyatch......just trying to be honest. good luck.

09-23-2004, 08:22 PM	#3
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Yep RmR it is a bad thing. I am a friendly person and I am only trying to be nice to his friends, am I supposed to be a jerk to them? I know you are right.

09-23-2004, 09:13 PM	#5
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Thanks Avalon, no need to apologize, you or RmR, I know this stuff. it is hard for me to walk away because most of the time we get along so well. But, these incidents are happening more often. I know what is best for me, but I am slow to act.

09-24-2004, 12:16 AM	#9
Audreyvgs Blue's Clues Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh? Posts: 5,412	Jealousy doesnt happen much in a sane relationship..

09-24-2004, 01:01 AM	#10
melissa monkey Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: on the go Posts: 3,657	This thread is full of truth and wisdom. __________________ "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."

09-24-2004, 01:23 AM	#11
sparticle Conspiracy Theorist Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cleveland, oh Posts: 4,702	If he's jealous, he's dangerous. I know whereof I speak. Everyone else is right and I am joining the chorus. A guy who's picking at stuff like "how you make him look in front of his friends", for Christ's sake, has got SERIOUS issues. If he doesn't abuse you physically yet, he at the very least will abuse you psychologically. In fact, he already is. Walk. It's not worth it, and it's not going to get better. Sorry to come off as harsh and judgmental, but I really and truly know what I'm talking about here, having been there, and I care about you. __________________ There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there." -- trisherina

09-24-2004, 02:01 AM	#12
Red Princess thread soiler Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: san diego Posts: 4,810	i told you he is the devil. and you are in danger. run for your life __________________ snarky peep

09-24-2004, 07:10 AM	#15
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	No. No. No. Get the brazilian and give it to some other guy. __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

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