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#1 |
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Conspiracy Theorist
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: cleveland, oh
Posts: 4,702
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stray cat rules
1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food. 3. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk. 4. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps. 5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence. 6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily. 7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name. 8. Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time. 9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times. 10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y". 11. Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture. 12. Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture. 13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches. 14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand. 15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter. 16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room. 17. Stray cats will sleep outside. 18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage. 19. Stray cats will sleep in the house. 20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket. 21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow. 22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed. 23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot. 24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers. 25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot. 26. Stray cats will not play on the desk. 27. Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer. 28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.
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There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there." -- trisherina |
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#2 |
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thundering is my favorite
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: motivated to be all i can be
Posts: 3,827
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stray cats will make me sneeze just like the non strays.
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your star shaped heart has reached out to me and together our hearts beat as one bound by the rich red that runs coarsing united we stand stronger than before able to face the dark with hands entwined |
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#3 |
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: A much better place
Posts: 5,931
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I think my husband authored those rules
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx |
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