some questions

am doing some research about the funeral service industry. nearly half of my classmates raised their hands when asked if they had planned a funeral. as i've never even been to a funeral nor, luckily, have had anyone close to me die, i was pretty surprised.

i'd appreciate some perspective through the following questions. if you're particularly sensitive about death/dying, you might want to avoid reading them altogether. be as brief as you like, but the more you can contribute (experience, opinions, feelings) the better.

1.) have you ever planned a funeral?

if yes,[list=a][*] were you surprised by price, how much it entailed, the process, other factors?
[*] how difficult was it to make practical arrangements during such a stressful time?
[*] did the company with whom you worked make it easier/harder/have no effect?
[*] how did you select the funeral/cremation/burial company that helped you? if you haven't planned a funeral, how would you select a company?[/list=a]



2.) will you pre-plan your funeral? [list=a][*] what do you think of pre-planning funerals and burial services? (e.g. plotting spots to be buried, setting up payment plans, getting it out of the way)[/list=a]


3.) have you written up a will? [list=a][*] with whom did you write up a will? (e.g. by yourself, a lawyer, family member)
[*] when do you think the proper time is to write a will?[/list=a]


4.) would you prefer to be buried or cremated? where? why?


5.) if a loved one died, what would effect what kind of burial arrangements you would make? (e.g. cost/type of casket, a service or ceremony, the locale and extent of a service or ceremony)


6.) have you ever thought about planning a funeral for a loved one? would you prefer to avoid thinking about this or understand the process so as to be prepared? why?


7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?


and, for fun:
8.) how realistic do you think Six Feet Under is in depicting the funeral service industry?



thanks.

[joppa.gal]

1.) have you ever planned a funeral?


No. My brother's funeral caught us completely by suprise.

if yes,


1. were you surprised by price, how much it entailed, the process, other factors?

No. We were more in shock than anything.
But my work/Costco now offers caskets !!! for as little as 850 I think.

2. how difficult was it to make practical arrangements during such a stressful time?

For real, everyone is not thinking clearly. It is very easy for someone to get fleeced.

3. did the company with whom you worked make it easier/harder/have no effect?

I don't remember. I think we were treated very well. It was all a blur.

4. how did you select the funeral/cremation/burial company that helped you? if you haven't planned a funeral, how would you select a company?

Tradition called for the only funeral home that serviced the area. It has a monopoly and a prime location. There ia the 'other' funeral home, but it obviously has lower standards due to it's size and location, and we wanted the best for James.


2.) will you pre-plan your funeral?

Not planning on it. I should. I want as little hassle as possible, and I'd like happiness after I die. Dang. This means one more thing I have to do today.


1. what do you think of pre-planning funerals and burial services? (e.g. plotting spots to be buried, setting up payment plans, getting it out of the way)

GREAT idea. James had a paper he had written w/ ways he wanted to be remembered after he died that I uncovered in his computer that helped us all with grief. KNowing that ends were tied up and 'business was not left unfinished' would be of great help to the family and friends.



3.) have you written up a will?

No, but then I have yet to be married and that will be coming in the works in a few years.



1. with whom did you write up a will? (e.g. by yourself, a lawyer, family member)
n/a

2. when do you think the proper time is to write a will?

When one has a proper beneficiary. i.e. husband. wife. or significant resources to divvy up, i.e. house, stocks, etc.



4.) would you prefer to be buried or cremated? where? why?

probably creamated. My religeon dictated I get buried though. i dunno.


5.) if a loved one died, what would effect what kind of burial arrangements you would make? (e.g. cost/type of casket, a service or ceremony, the locale and extent of a service or ceremony)

Psh. I'm not in the situation.

6.) have you ever thought about planning a funeral for a loved one? would you prefer to avoid thinking about this or understand the process so as to be prepared? why?

NO. I prefer to be spur of the moment.

7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?

Our funeral ads are mostly against drinking and driving, so I support them.

and, for fun:
8.) how realistic do you think Six Feet Under is in depicting the funeral service industry?

Haven't seen it.

Originally posted by joppa.gal


2.) will you pre-plan your funeral?

Not planning on it. I should. I want as little hassle as possible, and I'd like happiness after I die. Dang. This means one more thing I have to do today.

according to one of the large funeral services organizations i am researching, most pre-planners are around 70 years old, while the mean age for funerals is 75. so you obviously don't have to worry about this for a long time.

4.) would you prefer to be buried or cremated? where? why?

probably cremated. My religion dictated I get buried though. i dunno.

what's your religion?

a) what do you think of pre-planning funerals and burial services? (e.g. plotting spots to be buried, setting up payment plans, getting it out of the way)

GREAT idea. James had a paper he had written w/ ways he wanted to be remembered after he died that I uncovered in his computer that helped us all with grief. KNowing that ends were tied up and 'business was not left unfinished' would be of great help to the family and friends.

6.) have you ever thought about planning a funeral for a loved one? would you prefer to avoid thinking about this or understand the process so as to be prepared? why?

NO. I prefer to be spur of the moment.

earlier you mentioned how helpful it was to know what james wanted from his paper. do you think the pain that comes with learning about funeral planning (costs, options, responsibilities) and pre-planning (paying in advance, making decisions while emotionally stable) is unjustifiable?

obviously there's no way to desensitize yourself to the loss of someone you love. but having to deal with the 'practical' side of handling someone's death can add a lot of stress, on top of the (personal) suffering.

handling the practical side beforehand would minimize some of the stress. you responded you'd prefer to deal with this situation spur of the moment, though you do like the idea of individual pre-planning.

why do you think you're less tolerant of the idea of pre-planning for someone else? do you think that acknowledging the rational side of a loved one's death beforehand belittles your concept of how much that life means to you? is it simply not worth the pain to anticipate an eventual death that's going to come equipped with immutable pain anyway? how much does the sadness/fear of loss outweigh the problem of vulnerability to being overcharged or swindled because of the emotional blur?

[Coffee]

None of this applies to me. I am immortal.

Shut up...SHUT UP!!!...I don't want to hear it...SHUT UP.

*hands over ears making mumbling noises*

[melissa]

Coffee will always exist!!

Originally posted by Coffee
None of this applies to me. I am immortal.

Shut up...SHUT UP!!!...I don't want to hear it...SHUT UP.

*hands over ears making mumbling noises*

Originally posted by melissa
Coffee will always exist!!

please do not deter potential participants with silly jokes

[daverbee]

1.) have you ever planned a funeral?

Yes. My father's.

if yes,



were you surprised by price, how much it entailed, the process, other factors?

Not really. It was pretty simple and with all the friends he had and all our family who loved him it kinda arranged itself.


how difficult was it to make practical arrangements during such a stressful time?

Not difficult at all. I calledf a friend who owned a cemetery and funeral business in town and he aranged for the cremation.

did the company with whom you worked make it easier/harder/have no effect?

Had no effect. They gave me the time I needed but no more.


how did you select the funeral/cremation/burial company that helped you? if you haven't planned a funeral, how would you select a company?

As stated above, it was done by a friend who owned a cemetery and funeral service.



2.) will you pre-plan your funeral?

No.


what do you think of pre-planning funerals and burial services? (e.g. plotting spots to be buried, setting up payment plans, getting it out of the way)

OK if that's what you want to do. I like the way Winston Churchill prearranged his. He called it Operation Hope Not.



3.) have you written up a will?

Yes. I don't know where it is. I think it's buried in my sock drawer.



with whom did you write up a will? (e.g. by yourself, a lawyer, family member)

By myself.


when do you think the proper time is to write a will?

Whenever you're ready.



4.) would you prefer to be buried or cremated? where? why?

Cremated. Cemeteries and golf courses are the two biggest space wasters in the world. I want my ashes equally scattered on Cumberland Island and The Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

5.) if a loved one died, what would effect what kind of burial arrangements you would make? (e.g. cost/type of casket, a service or ceremony, the locale and extent of a service or ceremony)

Relation to me.


6.) have you ever thought about planning a funeral for a loved one? would you prefer to avoid thinking about this or understand the process so as to be prepared? why?

I'll think of it when the time comes. Most of my relatives have enough family that I won't have to worry about that.


7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?

It's a way of getting their services available to the public so as long as it isn't too forceful I see nothing wrong with it.


and, for fun:
8.) how realistic do you think Six Feet Under is in depicting the funeral service industry?

Never seen it...

[Frieda]

1.) have you ever planned a funeral?
yes
if yes,

were you surprised by price, how much it entailed, the process, other factors?
the insurance mess. insurance companies here are not very helpful. also the fact that there's only 2 days to arrange a funeral isn't very helpful.

how difficult was it to make practical arrangements during such a stressful time?
very difficult

did the company with whom you worked make it easier/harder/have no effect?
easier, they assigned a funeral manager to us that kept in contact with us every 2 hours. one person to talk to and to ask all the questions.

how did you select the funeral/cremation/burial company that helped you? if you haven't planned a funeral, how would you select a company?
here you select a cemetary or a cremation center. that's the company that helps you.

2.) will you pre-plan your funeral?
yes

what do you think of pre-planning funerals and burial services? (e.g. plotting spots to be buried, setting up payment plans, getting it out of the way)
plotting a spot to be buried is kind of pointless here, as you can't buy a spot for eternity. a payment plan is useful, i don't have it myself.

3.) have you written up a will?
yes

with whom did you write up a will? (e.g. by yourself, a lawyer, family member)
a lawyer

when do you think the proper time is to write a will?
when you leave something substantial behind when you die and you want it to be taken care of properly.

4.) would you prefer to be buried or cremated? where? why?
buried when there's any doubt about the cause of my death (crime, poisoning) and cremated in any other situation.
buried on the cemetary where my grandfather lies and i'd like my ashes to be scattered in space but since that's still impossible, scattered over the north sea.

5.) if a loved one died, what would effect what kind of burial arrangements you would make? (e.g. cost/type of casket, a service or ceremony, the locale and extent of a service or ceremony)
the total cost and the wishes of the loved one

6.) have you ever thought about planning a funeral for a loved one? would you prefer to avoid thinking about this or understand the process so as to be prepared? why?
yes, i'd rather understand the process to be prepared. because i'd like the funeral to be as the person would like it to be

7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?
they usually annoy me because they aim for 70+

and, for fun:
8.) how realistic do you think Six Feet Under is in depicting the funeral service industry?
haven't seen it

7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?

It's a way of getting their services available to the public so as long as it isn't too forceful I see nothing wrong with it.


7.) how do you feel when you see funeral home/service advertisements? (tv, radio, yellow pages, wherever) what determines if you find these ads tacky or helpful?
they usually annoy me because they aim for 70+

what's too forceful? please die?

and, frieda, do you disagree with target marketing in general or are the ads esp. distasteful?

[Frieda]

nothing wrong with target marketing, but there's only ads with pictures of people with grey hair that like to have coffee & cake & kleenex tissues at their funeral and nothing else.

[daverbee]

Originally posted by fodder
what's too forceful? please die?

and, frieda, do you disagree with target marketing in general or are the ads esp. distasteful?

I was thinking more along the lines of a hard sell, although in that industry that would be distasteful. Anything that promoted one religious doctrine over another would be forceful to me.

[priceyfatprude]

Dying is ****ing expensive.

[zenbabe]

I want to be creamated and have my ashes shot into outer space...

[Audreyvgs]

Im too insensitive for this thread. For funerals, any one I've ever planned has consisted of calling around for the best price for the crematorium. Mom lives in fear of me, but she's irish, so there'd be a wake. No plans for me, just throw my ashes out in the back yard with dad. throw a beer on me every year or so.

[Zaftig]

Though I can't answer any of the questions right now thank you for posting this thread. It has caused to me to do a lot of thinking. Not only about death and such but now that I'm married I also have to face the fact that my husband would be making decisions for me should I face a coma or vegetative state or something of the sort someday.