help me fix myself

Presentation Evaluation:

1. sally - you did a pretty good job, however I’d recommend you script your part a little more than you did. In spots it was pretty clear you were inventing it as you went.
2. jane - you did a good job, except that your voice tone was too low. That room has a background buzzing, and I could barely hear you at times. Also, such a low voice can be perceived as lack of enthusiasm.
3. hermanita - you lost eye contact with Sam a bit too much, with your eyes wandering off to the side. Your volume was better than Allison’s, but you need to script your part more tightly. You were shooting from the hip at times.
4. (fodder)Lauren, you look very young, and when you first started talking you clasped your hands in front of you in a way that made you seem like a shy little kid. Don’t get me wrong, looking young can be an asset you can use. However, for a presentation like this I’d suggest, unless you have a strategic reason to do otherwise, try to over-dress a bit, to make yourself look older. It will come across as more competent. Clients may not want to put their money in the hands of someone who they perceive as being a little kid.
5. maria - probably had the best overall presentation style. Good delivery and very solid eye contact with the client.

i (d) brought everyone down, sniff

maybe if i come out next time with a cigarette holder and streaky blonde hair and a raspy voice i will seem older

[lapietra]

Good grief. It sounds like an acting class! So much stress to work for a funeral home...

Maybe if you're going to go to all this trouble, you should just become an actress

[trisherina]

I've learned the hard way how to do presentations since 1997 (doing them because it's 1/4 of my job). I take feedback pretty seriously, and that was not bad feedback. I'd pay most attention to the hand-clasping deal (unnatural as it feels, do your best to keep your hands loosely at your sides when not gesturing for emphasis), the low voice deal (especially if people perceive you as less than enthusiastic, that's deadly: FORCE inflection into your speech if necessary), and the wandering eyes business (which can be hard to control if you need your eyes to unfocus to think better).

Much better than some of the comments I used to get when I started out!

[nycwriters]

Originally posted by fodder
maybe if i come out next time with a cigarette holder and streaky blonde hair and a raspy voice i will seem older

You are not allowed to be me.

[nycwriters]

Being young has its advantages -- energy, enthusiasm, creative ideas. Use that to your advantage. You may not have all the answers, but that edge is appealing to those hiring or clients.

I'm not sure what's wrong with improv-ing at some places, every person who teaches or presents does this at some point in their presentation... typically going off-script earns points for being more personable/real... but you have to know your subject matter thoroughly to do this.

If you have a hard time focusing your eyes, an old trick is to stare at one point at the back of the room -- like a clock on a wall -- and from the audiences' pov it looks like you're talking to each directly. You'll find once you get more comfortable with the content of the presentation, you'll find it easier to interact and look at different individuals in the class.

Originally posted by trisherina
I've learned the hard way how to do presentations since 1997 (doing them because it's 1/4 of my job). I take feedback pretty seriously, and that was not bad feedback. I'd pay most attention to the hand-clasping deal (unnatural as it feels, do your best to keep your hands loosely at your sides when not gesturing for emphasis), the low voice deal (especially if people perceive you as less than enthusiastic, that's deadly: FORCE inflection into your speech if necessary), and the wandering eyes business (which can be hard to control if you need your eyes to unfocus to think better).

Much better than some of the comments I used to get when I started out!

i am only girl d - the other letters are other group members

[trisherina]

I see that, now that you've given the names.

Videotape yourself presenting something. See what you think of your gesturing, if it's too tentative. As far as looking too young, that tends to remedy itself over time.