Things Guys wish Girls knew...

[amanda]

For the men and the women. You know who you are...


1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to work the toliet seat. If it's up, put it down.
3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect gift yet again.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, other women's breasts or cars.
7.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. You have enough clothes.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Your ex-boyfriend was an idiot.
12. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say what you want!
13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Most guys own about three pairs of shoes- what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
15. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions.
16. Come to us with a problem that needs solving. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
17. A headache that last 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
18. Check your oil.
19. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
20. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
21. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
22. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
23. If you don't look like the girl on the cover of a romance novel, don't expect us to act like guys in the romance novel.
24. If we said something that can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
25. You can either ask us to do something, OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
26. Women wearing low cut blouses and Wonder-Bras lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
27. More women should wear low cut blouses and Wonder-Bras. We like staring at boobs.
28. We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof how little we care about you.
29. If we ask what's wrong and you say "Nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
30. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

[bealeblues]

i know some ladies who should print this, laminate it, and keep it on their person at all times....

[amanda]

hahahaha! So do I, Beale.
So do I.

[masterofNone]

Your ex-boyfriend was an idiot.

[amanda]

Touché.

I think all of us women are guilty of being a girl at times.

[Frieda]

14. Most guys own about three pairs of shoes- what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

last week a male friend of mine asked me what pair of shoes looked best with his suit.. after asking me, he asked 3 other people and his mother.

AAARRRGGGHGHHH! why do guys always have to get their mother involved??

[bealeblues]

b/c no matter how much you screw up, are insensitive, etc., your mother will always think you are infallible....

[masterofNone]

and, according to Rune, she kisses great!

[Deviate]

copied, printed, pasted to my wall. every woman i consider a friend is getting this with special sections highlighted as to what pertains especially to them. every man i consider a friend is getting a copy and i will probably get a beer in exchange.

it's sadly funny how true this list can be. it's what aggrevates me about most women, and yet, i think these attributes contribue greatly to what i find incredibly alluring...

responses i've received thusfar.
"That cracks me up! Where did you get it?" -Mina

"All of the following information is correct to the best of my ability and I will die for my right to believe it. Yep, yep, yep. " - Dad

-st.

[agentsmith]

yes indeed. ah well, just because im female doesnt mean i cant agree with most of those things. maybe its because im insensitive, but i usually find myself agreeing with almost everything on that list.

[amanda]

So do I, agentsmith.

[masterofNone]

<---- grinnin'

[amanda]

better than sighin'

[agentsmith]

oh, i wouldn't say that, amanda....when people grin at me i find it very offensive. when they sigh it perhaps means that they are annoyed by my shabby appearence. that makes me happy.

[RuneT]

The other way around:

1)You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.
2)It never hurts to work out...take your own advice.
3)Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.
4)Not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.
5)We hate porn.
6)Hmmmm...guys in Jeeps...yummmm...
7)Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.
8)We think about you all the time.
9)Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
10)We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.
11)Hold our hand.
12)No backseat drivers...NONE.
13)Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it.
14)We are not your all-night restaurant.
15)Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.
16)If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick.
17)Under no circumstances will we have a threesome.
18)You look hot in hooded articles of clothing.
19)If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.
20)Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time".
21)Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance.
22)Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever.
23)Keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing...
24)You just can't force us to like sports...especially those associated with the WWF.
25)We're typically smarter than you...so get over it and stop whining when we get better grades than you.
26)If you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one...right now.
27)The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.
28)We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it!!!
29)Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.
30)Just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared!!!
31)If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.
32)Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.
33)If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.
34)The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
35)On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.
36)Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference.
37)Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery.
38)Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die.
39)We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer everyone once in a while.
40)Tell us we're beautiful.
41)The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.
42)Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite.
43)Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you.
44)If you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it.
45)Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc.
46)No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits".
47)We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys).
48)One word when it comes to smoking...quit.
49)We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.
50)If we happen to trip, fall, etc, while wearing the exceptionally high shoes that we love, go ahead and laugh...we will be...that is unless we hurt ourselves...