Worst chat-up lines - ZEFRANK.COM

jasmina · 08-07-2005, 09:05 PM

"Excuse me, I think I've lost my phone number... can I borrow yours?"

Max Headroom · 08-07-2005, 09:15 PM

Have you got a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

Max Headroom · 08-07-2005, 09:17 PM

That shirt is very becoming on you, if I were on you I'd be coming too.

Max Headroom · 08-07-2005, 09:19 PM

Want to go for some Pizza and a fvck? No! Thats ok, I don't like pizza either.

Max Headroom · 08-07-2005, 09:20 PM

Nice tits, wanna fvck?

jasmina · 08-07-2005, 09:27 PM

"You're like a razor, I can't you close enough to me"

funkytuba · 08-08-2005, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Headroom

Nice tits, wanna fvck?

This reminds me of a friend from college:

She said that turning it around, for a girl doing the asking it would be something like:

"Nice shoes. Wanna Fvck?"

Unless the hot guy in question was from some fundamentalist christian sect (e.g. Campus Crusade for Christ) in which case it would be more like:

"Nice shoes. Wanna go to bible study? And Fvck?"

Avalon · 08-07-2005, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Headroom

Have you got a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

The variation I heard was: "Did you wash your pants in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them".

madasacutsnake · 08-08-2005, 12:23 AM

"When you speak to an italian man, it means "I wanna screw like a rabbit"".

Frieda · 08-08-2005, 03:12 AM

"hello, you make me horny"

or

"wanna buy me a drink?"

Con ate dog · 08-08-2005, 03:53 AM

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Max Headroom · 09-06-2005, 07:27 PM

If you were a sandwitch at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous

Frieda · 09-06-2005, 07:46 PM

a couple of years ago i was standing at the bar in a local club with my friend Clay, when this little boy about 5 years younger than us walked towards her and asked:

"hey, how are you? what do you think about the transition to the euro coin??"

it made her snort her cocktail through her nose and me laugh out loud.. poor guy!

Smartypants · 11-07-2005, 09:23 PM

From McSweeneys.net

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/list...anderhoff.html

-----------

Pickup Lines: The First Drafts.

BY MARK VANDERHOFF

- - - -

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

Smartypants · 11-07-2005, 09:45 PM

Also from McSweeneys:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/list...mStallard.html

------------------
Nonrecommended Questions for Your Five-MinuteSpeed Date.

BY JIM STALLARD

- - - -

What, in your mind, constitutes "stalking"? Be very, very clear and specific.

Do you have caller ID? What about a doorman?

Do you think there should be consequences for one person misleading another?

When someone claims to be "not interested" in someone else, do you think the feeling is genuine or simply an attempt to suppress strong attractions they are afraid to admit?

What's your funniest or most embarrassing restraining-order story?

Have you ever been hurt so bad in a relationship that your only consolation is taking revenge on random members of the opposite sex?

Are you the type of person who tends to notice when something deviates even slightly from the norm—like, for example, the taste of a drink?

That sound in your head when you first decide you're going to spy on someone: clicking or buzzing?

What item are you most likely to leave behind at the scene that forces you to make the frantic return trip at 3 a.m.?

Despite all the expense and hassle, isn't it worth it when you see it dawning on them that they're going to pay for what they did?

08-07-2005, 09:05 PM	#1
jasmina Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,617	Worst chat-up lines "Excuse me, I think I've lost my phone number... can I borrow yours?"

08-07-2005, 09:15 PM	#2
Max Headroom monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,098	Have you got a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants. __________________ Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful, Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.

08-07-2005, 09:17 PM	#3
Max Headroom monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,098	That shirt is very becoming on you, if I were on you I'd be coming too. __________________ Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful, Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.

08-07-2005, 09:19 PM	#4
Max Headroom monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,098	Want to go for some Pizza and a fvck? No! Thats ok, I don't like pizza either. __________________ Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful, Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.

08-08-2005, 12:23 AM	#9
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	"When you speak to an italian man, it means "I wanna screw like a rabbit"". __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

08-07-2005, 09:20 PM	#5
Max Headroom monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,098	Nice tits, wanna fvck?

08-07-2005, 09:27 PM	#6
jasmina Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,617	"You're like a razor, I can't you close enough to me"

08-08-2005, 03:12 AM	#10
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,503	"hello, you make me horny" or "wanna buy me a drink?" __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

08-08-2005, 03:53 AM	#11
Con ate dog some guy Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Suzhou, China, city of canals Posts: 308	If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? __________________ "And there is no liar like the indignant man..." -Friedrich Nietszche

09-06-2005, 07:27 PM	#12
Max Headroom monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,098	If you were a sandwitch at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous __________________ Art takes something ugly and over time makes it beautiful, Fashion takes something beautiful and over time makes it ugly.

09-06-2005, 07:46 PM	#13
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,503	a couple of years ago i was standing at the bar in a local club with my friend Clay, when this little boy about 5 years younger than us walked towards her and asked: "hey, how are you? what do you think about the transition to the euro coin??" it made her snort her cocktail through her nose and me laugh out loud.. poor guy! __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

11-07-2005, 09:23 PM	#14
Smartypants MR. Smartypants to you. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Oh, YOU PEOPLE go ahead and call it "Frisco." See if I care. Posts: 3,967	From McSweeneys.net http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/list...anderhoff.html ----------- Pickup Lines: The First Drafts. BY MARK VANDERHOFF - - - - Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular. You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex. Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you? Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody? Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee. Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours? Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes. __________________ "I don't think God wants us to believe in him. If he wanted us to believe in him he'd do something about it -- like exist perhaps!" --Linda Smith

11-07-2005, 09:45 PM	#15
Smartypants MR. Smartypants to you. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Oh, YOU PEOPLE go ahead and call it "Frisco." See if I care. Posts: 3,967	Also from McSweeneys: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/list...mStallard.html ------------------ Nonrecommended Questions for Your Five-MinuteSpeed Date. BY JIM STALLARD - - - - What, in your mind, constitutes "stalking"? Be very, very clear and specific. Do you have caller ID? What about a doorman? Do you think there should be consequences for one person misleading another? When someone claims to be "not interested" in someone else, do you think the feeling is genuine or simply an attempt to suppress strong attractions they are afraid to admit? What's your funniest or most embarrassing restraining-order story? Have you ever been hurt so bad in a relationship that your only consolation is taking revenge on random members of the opposite sex? Are you the type of person who tends to notice when something deviates even slightly from the norm—like, for example, the taste of a drink? That sound in your head when you first decide you're going to spy on someone: clicking or buzzing? What item are you most likely to leave behind at the scene that forces you to make the frantic return trip at 3 a.m.? Despite all the expense and hassle, isn't it worth it when you see it dawning on them that they're going to pay for what they did? __________________ "I don't think God wants us to believe in him. If he wanted us to believe in him he'd do something about it -- like exist perhaps!" --Linda Smith

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