Poverty

[jasmina]

vaguely inspired by the New Orleans 'incident'.
I don't want to in any way detract from the tragedy that is happening there. But it made me think of a couple of times when I *thought* I experienced poverty (I have since learned that real poverty is totally different...).
The first time, when I was in Italy and I was homeless. I literally didn't have anywhere to sleep the following night. I also had no money, no credit, and no way of getting credit. However, I could have called my parents collect and got them to bail me out.. In the end I sorted it out myself with a lot of help from my friends (which I will always appreciate). My last 1,000 lire - about 1 dollar - I used to buy ice cream. Pure decadence. When you have nothing, who cares about a dollar??

Second, I remember being poor in London, when I used to steal those little compressed coffee packs that you use in a proper espresso machine. I was temping for a law firm. We couldn't afford to buy coffee (and my boyfriend of the time was Italian - so this was a huge issue) so I used to steal these little packs and hide them in my bra before I went home. I felt (and STILL feel!)hugely guilty for this. But it was kind of nice that my bras always smelled of fresh coffe...

These are obviously pretty minor stories. My childhood was very happy, I have an amazing family, and I have never be truly poor. But these times were possibly the times when I felt most happy, and strangely it was when I had no material things at all in the whole world.

Any stories to tell?

[lapietra]

It really is all in the perception...

When my mom left my dad (I was about 5), she really didn't have very good prospects. She had an A.A. degree, East Coast elementary school teaching credentials, and not much else. She managed to get a job as a teller at Bank of America, and we lived in low income housing in Reno. Apparently, we didn't have a lot to live on, and my mom likes to tell stories of how one time, there was no money for groceries, so she improvised tomato rice soup with some ketchup, water, and Uncle Ben's - or the times we had artichokes for dinner - or the Thanksgiving we shared a Cornish game hen. I didn't get to go to the doctor or dentist for about 4 years.
But here's the thing - I really don't remember feeling impoverished - I always had clothes to wear, food in my tummy, a room of my own on a soft bed, toys to play with including skates, and a bicycle, lots of books to read; I was warm when I needed to be warm; I felt loved. There were challenges of course - we were surrounded by undereducated, low-morale people who would take out their frustrations on people around them, but my mom was able to make it seem okay. Life was beautiful.
Right now, I'm struggling a bit because I've moved to a new city without a job - things are moving along - I've been working pretty steadily and starting to be able to relax a *tiny* bit - but it will be a loooong time before I'm able to have what I had in Los Angeles (it's all worth it, every bit of it ). I have most of my stuff in storage, and am having to be incredibly frugal and tolerant of less-than-optimal living conditions. But compared to having to leave my home on a minute's notice, no shoes, no belongings, nothing to come back to, friends and family dead or missing, no food, water, privacy or means to make my surroundings sanitary, feeling abandoned by my society - well, I feel positively wrapped in luxury.

Thank you for starting this thread, jasmina. This really is a good time to reflect on our blessings.

[jasmina]

Lala - I have the same perception of my childhood - my parents are continually telling my and my brother (who I'm very close to) that we had literally NO money in the early years - and my and my bro look at each other incredulously and even laugh at that, it seems so impossible, we don't remember any of that; we were so lucky to have such a great family and love around us that we really never questioned the material things! A brilliant way to be brought up - to me, that's the right way. We had other treats in life; my dad would pick us up on a sledge from school - a SLEDGE!! (sleigh I think, to the Americans...) - when it snowed, and drag us both all the way home, we both laughed all the way - then our mum in the summer would always have frothy milkshakes for us when we got home from school - money can't buy that.

[lapietra]

Originally Posted by jasmina

Lala - I have the same perception of my childhood - my parents are continually telling my and my brother (who I'm very close to) that we had literally NO money in the early years - and my and my bro look at each other incredulously and even laugh at that, it seems so impossible, we don't remember any of that; we were so lucky to have such a great family and love around us that we really never questioned the material things! A brilliant way to be brought up - to me, that's the right way. We had other treats in life; my dad would pick us up on a sledge from school - a SLEDGE!! (sleigh I think, to the Americans...) - when it snowed, and drag us both all the way home, we both laughed all the way - then our mum in the summer would always have frothy milkshakes for us when we got home from school - money can't buy that.

To be honest - I think that unless conditions are fearful and horrible, it's easy to keep children sheltered from the brunt of poverty. When we're young, everything is new - we're happy with very little. My friend Laura's son is ecstatic when you give him a little bowl of frozen peas, and can play happily for hours in the back yard with the plants and a little toy car. It's only as we become older and more sophisticated that we notice what we lack... something that can end up destroying us, if we identify ourselves too closely with our possessions or lack of them. Maybe that's a good reason (among many) to have children, or at least to make sure to keep them in our lives - to remind us what's important.

[madasacutsnake]

I had a reasonably privileged childhood. Not extremely weathy but both my parents are professional people and my mother worked full-time - which was quite rare in the 1970's - so there was always a good disposable income. Then I got married straight out of home and did the DINK thing (shut-up JT). I ended up with a fairly blase attitude toward money.

And then when the child came along, we had to survive on one (professional) income, car and bonuses included.

And then I got sick and my husband had to give up work to look after me and the child. And then we survived on one (professional) income, but no car or bonuses.

And then I got more sick and when my husband tried to return to the workforce, he discovered that 40 was a really bad age to be doing so, despite having business and electrical engineering degrees. So he ended up in a low paid job and I scrimped by with ebay sales.

It was a horrible couple of years. I learned the difference between shopping in op shops for fun and having to shop in op shops. I don't think I'll ever forget the pair of shoes I bought with my first pay check back at work, I was that happy to have them.

I'll be glad if I never have to be in that spot again but I am very, very grateful for the experience. It has given me an appreciation of how awful it must be for people who, unlike me, don't have an eventual "out".

[lapietra]

op shops = thrift stores?