Dear Mobby :: Crowd Sourced Advice

So I take it you bought a new computer ?

First , as with all addicts you have to hit a bottom. What do you consider your 'bottom' --unslightly facial hair? cheeto consumption ? weight gain ? pastey skin ? chosen gaming over sex ? missing clases, losing sleep to play?

Go to a twelve step program if you think it is a good idea and give that a try. Other than that, I would perhaps give all your gaming equipment away.

Good Luck.

Mobby wishes you the best.

Hello there, AA,

Interesting initials you have given yourself there, AA. The answer to your query could involve something similar to AA. Addictions are not simply dropped; new rhythms establish themselves as we make steps toward, and practice, establishing new traditions. Others in situations similar to yours can teach you their strategies for evoultion up from ape-hood, and as you learn your way, you can do the same for them. You have created an opportunity for something great to happen.

Jeano

peacecorps.gov

Not sure what you studied in college, but there is a big demand for IT related professions. If you are a college fledgling, you can defer your loans after you graduate and join up for a couple years.

When you come back all humbled and hairy, the technology will have advanced so far that your laziness and eventual frustration in learning a new, cryptic Excel interface will triumph over your compulsive need to google images for brown recluse spider bites.

Or there are a few more options. The first option would be...

Non-PC Interests:

Origami
http://i.n.com.com/i/ne/p/2006/rings_350X467.jpg

Pen-pal (with yourself)
imagine the delight from opening real mail without the inconvenience or disappointing anticipation that comes from writing to someone else.

Lounge Singing

Performance Art

Copious Sex

Or you could hang out with your warcraft buddy there and finish whatever is on your internal to-do list (I have yet to finish a book report for Mrs. Wilkes 7th grade english class... I hope she's not dead).

The question is, how do you want to spend your free time? helping others? annoying others? accomplishing what in your "rhythm" exactly?

But fuck, don't listen to me- I'm a level 70 affliction warlock.

Dear Anxious Ape,

I'd love to help you but I'm screwed with my own online addictions. When you get some real answers let me know and we'll crawl out of this hole together. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go walk into some more walls while rearranging my inventory and answering an endless series of IM's - all of which makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.

Good luck.

About 2 years ago I was in the same spot... I still have a deep addiction to visual stimulus that I can't break from because my job requires me to be at a computer for much of the day. At my worst I played World of Warcraft for blocks of up to 16 hours. It was killing me. I had a horrible addiction and it was damn hard to break away. I found a solution though.

I bought a Wii. I was the perfect gateway for me to play games while building up a more healthy lifestyle. It really helped me quick WoW. I did join back up again for a month about 6 months ago... but I didn't play it nearly as much and I was able to identify that it was bad for my health.

I still play video games now and again (I like to play maybe a round or two of Halo 3 in multiplayer mode in the mornings), but I am able to be successful at work and maintain a healthy social life now. You might not play Wii as much as I did at first... but it is sort of like a patch to help you get through your cravings.

My char is still on the WoW server and if I ever wanted to join back up I could... but I don't think that will happen now that I have other more constructive visual stimulus.

-Bob
P.S.-I'm really looking forward to Wii Fit

I'm on the computer way more than I'd like to be too. Not a ridiculous amount of time, but enough to where it interferes with my school work and free time.

Putting my computer in its box on the top shelf of my closet gave me a good month or so of feeling free. Sure, I had to go to the library or the student union to check my email and write papers, but it was probably worth it.

Try to think of a way to separate the distractions from what you actually need the computer for. Maybe replace your computer with a handheld that'll check email or find a friend who will let you stop over and use their computer for the necessary stuff.

Other than that, I agree that finding other things to occupy your time is probably the best way to go. And don't let your computer be the default - "I'm not sure what I'm doing right now, so I'll sit at the computer."

The Wii idea goes along with exactly what i would prescribe: get another addiction. Now, harmful things like smoking and copious drinking won't work simply because you can do both of those while playing Everquest/World of Warcrack--in fact sometimes copious drinking makes both more fun. But find something that takes the place of your online addiction that is significantly less destructive than the online addiction is. Like Wii. Or heroin (joking, joking). Martial arts perhaps? Or even social things. Get addicted to going out with friends. The problem now is that subconsciously, you are putting more value on the internet time then you are to other, more important things. Find a way to make those other things rise up once again on the battlefield of your priority ladder.

1. We admitted we were powerless over video games—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

You are not alone. It seems Everquest, WoW, and similar games have released an epidemic of escapism. I believe the addiction affliction affects primarily those with low confidence -- the game fulfills a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. However, it is unhealthy because it doesn't transfer to reality -- where someone might gain confidence within the game, his/her sense of self worth and accomplishment in the real world is degraded over time when he/she is removed from reality.

Check out http://www.wowrecovery.com/ to read testimony from another recovering addict.

Hiya, AA.

I myself have been experiencing some of the struggles you mentioned in your post (though I think to a lesser degree).
I've taken some steps to wear down my compulsions, and I hope they'll help you too.

First, when I realized I wanted to get well, I realized the need to clean my surroundings of addicting products. This meant uninstalling/deleting all the movies/games/TV-shows from my computer in one big purge.
It was hard to get rid of them completely, so I moved most of the media onto DVD or external hardrive--where it'd be much harder more tedious to access (my external HD is usually unplugged and kept out of sight in another room).nThat way, you keep a buffer zone between you and the addicting products.
I've also learned to associate those addicting products with the unpleasant pain-in-the-ass feeling I get when trying to re-install a game, leaf through a book of DVDs, or set up my external HD.

Now that I cleaned my surroundings, I needed to reassociate my computer with other beneficial activities. I think relapses of computer addiction (and I've had some) are due to the fact that I've strongly associated this bucket-of-circuits with only the short-term pleasures of computer addictions.

So, whenever I do work in front of my computer, I turn on some good (but non-distracting) music. That way, I no longer see my computer as the gateway to my past addictions, but it's now the place where I can enjoy good music while I work instead,

It took me a while and some effort to re-associate my computer with productive activities, but it's well worth it. In fact, I made sure to turn off my music before writing this post (so that the pleasant feeling I get from good music would only be associated with work-related activities).

Choose your music carefully. None of the music I listen to have lyrics (I mostly listen to classical...or sometimes Ratatat). Classical music is also helpful because I can put on a piece of music that's 60min long--which guarantees me at least 1 hour of work.

Finally, I had to reinforce the association of my computer with productive activities. As I mentioned before, I always turn off the music when I don't do work. That way, when I'm doing work on the comp, I'm reluctant to stray away from my work and onto my addictions--since it means a loss of music.

Other times, when I'm in a happy and confident mood, I make sure I turn some specific album of music--further strengthening my association of confidence with a particular album of music.

Anyways, overall, I think it's just important to clear your surroundings of weaknesses, and redefine your weakspot (the computer) as an area of strength.

And by the way, don't beat yourself up if you have a relapse--that'll put too much pressure on yourself. Just realize that your relapse wasn't necessary, and put the energy of your frustration into more concentration for work.

Best of Luck!

Read to gain some insight on a fellow game addiction sufferer. The reality about this addiction that we suffer from is that is was about an escape into a world where we felt instantly accomplished. We gravitate back to the computer because it is the home to our fantasy world in which we feel so important and mighty. We are removing ourselves from reality.

The first question is, WHY did we chose to withdraw in the first place? It is likely as simple as boredom and lack of a self of accomplishment. School and work can get very monotonous for many, and the game provided interactivity and variety.

The second question is, HOW do we get "addicted" to excelling in real life the way that we excelled in the game? My personal answer: be bold. Get yourself a routine, a goal, an a method for achieving that goal. My new goal is to run at least 3 days a week for at least an hour each time. I will achieve it by jumping out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off (as opposed to hitting the snooze 5 times and being late to wherever I'm going). I will walk to the kitchen on M/W/F, drink a glass of water, eat half a piece of toast (not too much, the jostling is tough on digestion), put on my running shoes, and enjoy the morning frost.

I won't be able to run the whole hour right away. It might take me four months of training consistently. But for now, even if I walk for most of the way, I feel exhillirated, empowered, and sharp-as-a-tack mentally afterwards.

When I achieve this goal, I will set a new goal of running a half-marathon.

When I run a half-marathon, it will be Summer time and I will set a new goal of a triathlon. As I stand today, I am an awful swimmer, biker, and runner. I firmly believe that "creativity" is a task rather than a gift, and so "accomplishment" and "pride" are also tasks.

Start with something small. Take baby steps. Attach the idea of "snooze" on your alarm clock to the idea of not reaching your goal. Get up.

Ze has video blog episode about busting cycles. BUST that repetitive cycle of sleep, work, game, repeat. BUST it and go do something wildly new and healthy and do it until you feel like an expert.

If you routinely don't talk to people in elevators, BUST that cycle and speak to them. You might say something dumb once or twice, but you will quickly become an expert at elevator introductions.

I... I feel happy!

This message brought to you by Anxious Ape. If you have a problem that relates with mine, I invite you to grow with me. Anybody want to start running with me?

Some good advice here, but alot of people dont know what they are talking about. First off you need to admit that compulsive video gaming is an addiction, and it does control your life. Im not sure how many all nighters i pulled just because i was playing mmorpgs until 2 am when i had a big paper due the next day.

The best way to go is the quick and painful way, like ripping off a bandage, that you have spent countless hours grinding with so you could get the perfect equips and high lvls. Anyway, this isnt a permanent fix but it has never failed me to quit for at least 3 months or so.

Give away your username and pass...

I know it sounds painful but i garruntee that you will not want to comeback to a character that has been stripped of every last thing. That should keep you hating the game long enough to make the right steps to try and quit the mmorpgs for good.

Now to make sure you dont come back to the addictive gaming then fill your time with other things.

1) Video games, non addicting ones. After i got my xbox i dont even care that im not playing mmorpgs anymore, just make sure its a game that can be turned off at any time.
2) social life
3)studying, if you are in school get into the habit of spending hours at the library, not in front of your pc
4)sports
5)here is a good one, change your surroundings, form some new habits, try to get away from the things in life that remind you of your addiction.

now you may find that you need to change things up every so often, once the novelty of change wears off you might feel the urge to return to your safe little place in front of the glowing screen but if you felt the need to post here im guessing you do want to break the habit. And if you are going to you might as well brag to your friend about it, he might just decide to quit with you...

Read to gain some insight on a fellow game addiction sufferer. The reality about this addiction that we suffer from is that is was about an escape into a world where we felt instantly accomplished. We gravitate back to the computer because it is the home to our fantasy world in which we feel so important and mighty. We are removing ourselves from reality.

The first question is, WHY did we chose to withdraw in the first place? It is likely as simple as boredom and lack of a self of accomplishment. School and work can get very monotonous for many, and the game provided interactivity and variety.

The second question is, HOW do we get "addicted" to excelling in real life the way that we excelled in the game? My personal answer: be bold. Get yourself a routine, a goal, an a method for achieving that goal. My new goal is to run at least 3 days a week for at least an hour each time. I will achieve it by jumping out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off (as opposed to hitting the snooze 5 times and being late to wherever I'm going). I will walk to the kitchen on M/W/F, drink a glass of water, eat half a piece of toast (not too much, the jostling is tough on digestion), put on my running shoes, and enjoy the morning frost.

I won't be able to run the whole hour right away. It might take me four months of training consistently. But for now, even if I walk for most of the way, I feel exhillirated, empowered, and sharp-as-a-tack mentally afterwards.

When I achieve this goal, I will set a new goal of running a half-marathon.

When I run a half-marathon, it will be Summer time and I will set a new goal of a triathlon. As I stand today, I am an awful swimmer, biker, and runner. I firmly believe that "creativity" is a task rather than a gift, and so "accomplishment" and "pride" are also tasks.

Start with something small. Take baby steps. Attach the idea of "snooze" on your alarm clock to the idea of not reaching your goal. Get up.

Ze has video blog episode about busting cycles. BUST that repetitive cycle of sleep, work, game, repeat. BUST it and go do something wildly new and healthy and do it until you feel like an expert.

If you routinely don't talk to people in elevators, BUST that cycle and speak to them. You might say something dumb once or twice, but you will quickly become an expert at elevator introductions.

I... I feel happy!

This message brought to you by Anxious Ape. If you have a problem that relates with mine, I invite you to grow with me. Anybody want to start running with me?

Hey Anxious,

I see you've already responded and you're on your path to recovery, but I just had to share this with you. Korea is taking computer gaming addiction seriously:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/18/technology/18rehab.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

If that link doesn't work, the article is in the NYTimes and it's called: "In Korea, a boot camp cure for web obsession" Wednesday, November 21, 2007.

Jeano