Dear Mobby :: Crowd Sourced Advice

It takes about a 365 days to get a year's worth of experience. From experience comes wisdom. It is a practical knowledge of what works, what doesn't and why. I could tell you what does, what doesn't and why but unless you live it, you aren't likely to internalize it.

Set yourself up for success. Part of the trick of setting goals is to pick ones that are achievable. Yes, a man's dreams must be beyond his grasp lest what's a heaven for. Still to know what it is to succeed one must actually succeed. Even if it is drawing one picture each day for 365 days. After that you'll have a year's worth of experience as an illustrator.

I fail to see the question. You are clearly aware of your shortcomings and you know precisely what you need to do to correct them. If you don't learn to manage yourself, you will never be qualified to manage a fast food joint - never mind something fun. I'm sorry that I have been harsh here, but, well. Just sayin'. It's likely that I have one millionth of your talent, but I do slog along and am able to see the big picture. In the long run, sloggers tend to win over wild talent. It's the small choices you make every day that count - much more than the Big Ideas. Find some balance and quit your bitchin'.

Your perceptions condradict your realities. It is quite common - perhaps even a necessity - to fail in several projects before succeeding in another. The difficult measure is of which projects to persue, and which ones to simply take your lessons from and abandon. Perception requires an accurate self image. As a horrible example of mental health, but of a similar work ethic: Sylvia Plath had a work concept similar to your own: each poem she began she felt obligated to complete. And for the most part she did. You wish to finish, vow to finish, but do not, and spend the rest of your time punishing yourself for having not persued them. The self limiting nature of this is the energy the self berating siphons from positive constructive work, as well as the simple fact that you simply took your lessons from a project and moved on. I would need a detailed example of this process for you, I believe.

Your perception of yourself and of your work may be too elevated to ever find a measurement of actuality. Because this is the case, you sabatoge anything near a final stage in order to not have this standard of measurement available to hold in contrast to your hyperbolic self-expectations. This pride system takes a while to deconstruct, but along the way you'll be a better worker, do better work and need less validation from others, thus solidifying your identity-as-worker as well. Two books on neurosis (though i feel this term is outdated and will be replaced) by karen horney, grants some ingeneous insight to this process:

Our Inner Conflicts i know the titles sounds really iffy, but its a good book, a good primer to:

Neurosis and Human Growth which really cuts to the heart of things

a post freudian humanist clinical psychiatrist (M.D.)Karen Horney is a largely unrecognized figure in the theory of personality. I urge anyone seeking advice to first adjust their internal accoustic and read these books. Truly helpful. Our defenses are resiliant though, and it takes sometime to see ourselves in action and percieve our clever internal motivations. Ok Ok. That's the best I can do for you bud.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

I remember reading about Leonardo da Vinci that he was forever starting new projects, giving up on old ones, and filling up sketchbooks with unfulfilable ideas. He also finished many things (as evidenced by the survival of his paintings, buildings, etc.), but much of the background work and nitty-gritty was filled in by apprentices and tradesmen.

Everyone knows that our human world is made up of and colored by a magnificent variety of personalities. You've been working two jobs. You're obviously not a slacker. You are aware of your talents and seem to have a confident, optimistic perspective on your selfhood and your expectations. You have the right to stand up for the things you want and to do the things you are meant to do. I'm no great guru, but here's how the world works:

One: You are born.
Two: You require security.
Three: You require sustenance.
Four: You require a place among other humans (or not, if that's not really your thing).
Five: You get to do whatever you freakin' want to.

I'm serious. As long as you have one through four taken care of, you don't have to take any crap from anybody.
People have always, ALWAYS, loved to bully other people into thinking they have to toe the line and do work they don't want to do (it's true to a certain extent, of course- you "must" pay your taxes and "must" clean up after yourself). But what your situation sounds like is the perfect opportunity to get a job you like. Or MAKE a job you like. Team up. Get some help. Find someone who has already done the research and help that person.

Start small. Find ONE project you can commit to and get that ONE project done. Get a taste of some brain crack addiction recovery.

You're probably not going to accomplish everything. It's not all going to be glitter and rose petals and everyone clapping for you. But you KNOW you have talents. You told us that. For goodness sake, please USE them. The world will be a better place.

In reference to Chris' post:
Be wary of that Karen Horney book (Neurosis and Human Growth). You can mess yourself up really badly imagining that you belong in this category or that. Sure, there are patterns and consistencies in human behaviors (especially in the flawed, messy, neurotic behaviors), but you have to keep in mind these two things:

One: that no one exactly like you has ever lived before, and
Two: people's flaws often go hand in hand with their virtues (a kind of "one man's trash is another man's treasure" approach to finding value in our personalities).

Being talented does not preclude you from being a good person, but neither does being easily-bored and inefficient make you a bad person. It just makes you easily-bored and inefficient.

I think I have been responding so vehemently because I've met so many brilliant people who have been kicked around by a society that doesn't value their unique talents. We watch amazing people burn out and spiral down all the time because no one cared to see the light in them.

YOUR WEBSITE IS INCREDIBLE. Literally. I can barely believe that you have made these things, and I almost wonder if this "dear mobby" letter of yours isn't just an underhanded advertisement for your skills and services. (Personally, I am very jealous of your straw bridge. My toothpick bridge in architecture school looked like crap and it shattered under about ten pounds.)

Make/draw/build/design things to sell. Go into business for yourself. Get into a gallery. Freelance. Be your own boss. All that "crap work" is for the uninspired people who are telling you to "buckle up". I hope you don't have too many ramen noodle dinners in your future, and I hope you don't become a diva either, but I do hope you will take yourself seriously and develop the work ethic needed to make your personal expressions a part of our excessively practical world. Don't freak out if it doesn't happen all at once. Just value your time and value your talents. I believe in your awesomeness.

I just wanted to reply to Diana B. and say that her answer shows more maturity than mine, and I really admire it. I guess I just read the question in an impatient mood or something. There does seem to be a little problem with point three of how the world works, but he or she will no doubt work that one out. We all do.

Hey stranded...

You seem to have identified a lot of your issues here, so you may be in a great position to make change.

Just wanted to comment on:

"bored, get scared, or move to something else"

Sometimes it's good to identify the "why" of these sorts of issues and then define an approach that works for you:

*Bored: not challenging? too much of the same thing? (get these done first because it can free you up for other things)

*Scared: of failure? of not meeting your own expectations? other people's expectations? are you missing the skills for these tasks? (this is a big issue for me so I totally relate to this block. you might find that you surprise yourself if you just go for it.)

*Move on to something else: why? necessity? or because of the boredom/fear issues?(:) Yeah. It is more fun to work on something new. Always. It's about that weird thing called flow that is always easier to find at the beginning of a project. But maybe if you think of the satisfaction you'll have to really move past this, to create new rhythms and patterns of behavior... it'll be easier?)

All of this to say, know yourself and the reasons why you react the way you do. It may help you address things more directly.

Good luck!!! Lots of success in doing what you love well and working towards something finished.

Every job has parts we don't like. I don't see your question either, but I'm a little jealous of somebody who gets to quit every time they get tired of the parts they don't like. I don't know how people afford to do that, financially, I mean, or emotionally. It seems more tiresome to keep starting over than to muscle through the hard parts. Even Superman has his Lex Luthor and Kryptonite to deal with.

And Clark Kent had to write and type all his own stories and knuckle down to Perry White's tough deadlines, too! He had to operate as less than superhuman at times to make it in this world, that's all. But he still knew he was Superman (and Lois Lane had him figured, too).

Ok, so I've taken a lot of this advice to heart. For the longest time I have wanted to talk with creative people about how they make a life for themselves out of their ideas. I decided that there was nothing for it but to do it. I've been working on this for a few weeks, and have just released my first episode. I'd like to thank you all for inspiring me. Though I don't know what direction this project will take, it's been a tremendous ride up until this point, and I hope it will continue.

The episode is here: http://whatwilli.be/?p=3