Recently, my mom told me she struggled her whole life with people thinking she wasn’t as smart as her sister. But she is. She is a whole lot more fun, non-judgmental, and artistic. She sees things in this way that I aspire to but don’t know if I ever will. She says I’m more like my dad, in looks and personality, although he denies that I look like him. He says I look more like my mom’s side of the family, but with extra body weight from his side. Nice, hmm? I guess I get a mean streak from my dad. If I’m frustrated with my mom sometimes I say things in a negative way and she says I sound just like him. He never says I’m like her! I wonder if he ever thinks it.
She hates when I talk negatively about things.
She’s all about positive energy.
I learned generosity from my dad–not when I was as young as pictured here, but not too long after. I find myself being a stereotypical dad sometimes, but not, so far, being my own Dad.
I obviously inherited a penchant for big sideburns.
My son’s father is asian so, when I was pregnant, I spend a lot of time thinking about what my baby’ll look like… Asian? Caucasian? Tanned skin? Slanting eyes? Golden hair? There was a lot of mystery and I really loved that!
When he was born, he was quite the same as his father with dark hair, slanting eyes and this pretty nose which everbody has in my darling’s family… but he had my face expressions, my smile…As he grows up, people said that he looks like me more and more, and when I’m looking at pictures like this, I can really see a part of me me in his face.
As he grows up, I can already see that he has something of me in his personality : he’s very shy like his father, but also very curious like me… as me, I like seeing, knowing, understanding everything around him…It could seem silly because his personality has probably nothing to deal with genetic and hereditary feature, but I’m proud of it!
And when I see this two pictures, I’m even more proud, because that beautiful baby is our, because we made him with love, because he’s the perfect blend of our two faces, personalities, lives, stories, past, cultures, colors … and I hope that he’ll be proud of it on the future!
When I look back at my relationship with my father I realize that I spent 20 years trying not to be him and the last 11 trying to emulate him. Becoming a father has made me find his patience and I have come to realize the magnitude of what it means to be a father. I always thought when I was younger that he was more close-minded that I would have liked him to be, but as I have grown I realized that it was just a misconception. My father is an ordained minister, although he hasn’t been a preacher for some time. I always had this image of him in my mind as being very old fashioned and super-conservative. When I moved out to go to college, like so many college students my age, I decided to get a tattoo, or three. I hid the fact that I was inked for as long as I could. When he finally found out he reaction was more like an “Oh, ok” rather than the blow up and lecture I had been expecting. It made me realize that being a strict father doesn’t mean that you’re not a tolerant and accepting father.