Fabuloso Friday/S-s-s-something from the Comments

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Offered as an alternative to the current "Something from the bible." Feel free to add or change. I suggest that we actually post these comments on thursday to give it a little bit of meta-reality. And please, don't delete whole entries, just add new ones and go to the discussion to tell us which ones you don't like.

Again, the voting for this one is in the talk page

Contents

Some Jerk Deleted the Funny Ones

So I share the hysterical one I remember:

Ze: N-n-n-Nothing from the comments! [long, awkward pause]

I Hate You Funniness Deleter

Ze: S-s-s-something from the meta-comments!

CU of comments screenshot.

saltpic

condiments.277.home_thumb.jpg

YetAnotherFuckingHardCharger

Ze: "YetAnotherFuckingHardCharger" writes: "First!"

CU of Ze [Stares blankly at the camera for [a length of time to be determined by Ze, and Ze alone, as his one mote of responsibility in this mess] , slight disappointment may read for a fraction of a second. }

CU

Obsessed fan gurl

Ze: "Obsessed fan gurl" writes: "Dear Ze: You know there's a small contingency of Sports Racers that are, like, totally obsessed with you, right? And that, as you speak, we have total bodily control over you? So what's to stop me from forcing you to perform fellatio on a popsicle stick right this second?"

CU

Ze: [Smiling askance at the camera, in a psychotic fashion, while holding a horizontal ice cream posicle in his hand] I'm already on it, fan girl! [Ze says this as he quickly starts to move the popsicle towards his mouth. Then right before it enters, we CUT. Alternately, if Ze has the cojones for it, he actually goes through with it for half a second before cutting.]

CU

Crash

Ze: Crash writes: If the Fabulosos are writing Friday's show... Does that mean Ze is writing Friday's comments?

Ze: No.

[Shot of Ze, nose in keyboard, typing away busily.]

Ze: Dear, Fabulosos...(typetypetype) your "show" sucked, go back to grade school, you bunch of childish cu... (SUDDEN cut to the next meta-comment)

Bob the Misanthrope

Ze: Bob the Misanthrope writes: "Ze, aren't you contradicting yourself with the whole Friday Fabuloso thing? First, you yell at us for telling you how to comb your hair, and know you want us to take control of the show? Are you bipolar or something? Admit it already, Ze, this whole project is just a way for a 30 yr. old guy who's starved for attention to side-skirt going to therapy and not have to work through his Peter Pan Complex."

CU

Ze: [Ze stares at the camera with a false smile.] Well, I *did* dare you to kick it up a notch.

CU

Ze: [Smiling happily] Oh, and Bob? Fuck You. [with the F-bomb bleeped out for effect.]

Won't-Drop-It Mike

Ze: "Won't-Drop-It Mike" writes: "Why won't you just admit that you're gay, Ze? It's so obvious to everyone, I don't know why you're trying to keep it a secret. We all love you anyway."

Ze: [Smiling happily while speaking in a sensitive, kind manner, all the while shaking his head as he speaks.] You're right, Mike. I shouldn't have to hide it anymore.

CU pans out.

Ze: I really *do* enjoy having sex with men. [We notice that Ze is holding large cardboard cue cards with stuff written on them as he talks. For every sentence, he drops a cue card to reveal another one underneath. Or alternatively, they can be incorporated as subtitles, whatever is easier.] Cue card #1 says: "Please note that these are not Ze Frank's actual sentiments."

Ze: A lot. Cue Card #2 says: "Not really."

Ze: In fact, kuddos to the astute readers that were savvy enough to catch on that I totally boned the hot french guy I was rooming with back in Paris. Cue card #3 says: "No, No, I didn't. Not that there's anything wrong with that..."

Ze: FYI, we're getting married in Canada and he's going to have my babies. Cue card #4 says: "Oh, come on! If I were gay, I could do *so* much better than him, couldn't I?"

Shebespectacled

Ze: Shebespectacled writes [Snooty Voice]: If the ruler of the comments is always 'The King', do I need to change my sex to become one?

[Ze begins to answer... QUICK CUT TO...] [how WOULD he reply?]

Hose_O'Frank

Ze: Hose_O'Frank writes: Hey Ze! Just found you last week, love your show! What do you think of the study from CNN reporting that illegal immigrants have been working in New Orleans in the Katrina Relief effort and the Feds have done nothing about it? Isn't that a contradiction to many of the current administrations policies on illegal immigrants? Are the feds saying "Hey don't come here and expect to be allowed to stay unless you want to clean up our messes in the area of protecting our legal citizens."?

Ze: Great question ['slight pause']...Hose! Finally one of my new viewers has something intelliegent to say.

[obviously showing that the comment is from him... perhaps stifiling laughter for a moment]

Ze: The answer to your question is of course no though. The current administarion actually has no policies to speak of referencing anything at all. Kind of a fly by night job.

[[1]]

Ze: The administation is mostly just sitting on their asses and thinking, what can I do to reach a lower approval rating? Ban gay marriage?

[[2]]

Ze: Keep troops overseas longer than the allowed tour of duty?

[[3]]

Ze: Wire tap?

[[4]]

Ze: Torturing prisoners in Guantanamo Bay?

[[5]]

Ze: Honestly Hey, They're running out of ideas.

Planted Comment

Ze: S-s-s-something from the comments!

Ze: 'FabulosoWriter' writes "Hey, Ze! Here is a comment I'm writing on Thursday so you have to comment on it Friday."

(Beat)

Ze: Awesome. Way to take control.

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