Fabuloso Friday/Starbucks Product Placement

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Starbucks Product Placement

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Ze: [mimes conversation with himself] "Ze, as a freestanding member of the Brooklyn blogosphere, shouldn't you be drinking coffee from Gimme or some other alternative indie left-wing fair-trade Commie joint, instead of supporting that corporate behemoth Starbucks?" [doofus sneering tone ] "Hey man, don't you know that bitching about selling out is passé? Go hang out in-- Loserville."

Ze: [wired] More scary news: Drinking coffee makes you more susceptible to persuasion. [sip] Or, as the press outlets who take ad money from Starbucks headlined, 'Drinking Coffee makes you more open-minded.

Ze chuckles, smiles knowingly, sceptically, and shakes his head. This is interupted by him taking another Sip.

Ze: Those evil press outlets should be shot! Pushing Starbucks on innocent viewers who are easily swayed by news sources they trust.

[beat, looks shiftily/awkwardly from side to side]

Ze: [sip] Apparently, moderate doses of caffeine [sip] make you more easily convinced by arguments [sip] that you would otherwise ignore. [Bug Eyed w/ falsetto opera voice] Fabuloso Friday!!! [dejected] starbucks ruined my show, I would've never agreed... Ze: [news voice] In other news (screenshot of http://tinyurl.com/e7gaf), the Iraqi prime minister Nuri al-Maliki, pictured here engaged in felatio with an invisible giant ducky, said he would release 2,500 mostly Shi'ite prisoners, in an apparent bid to shore up his authority amid signs of tension in his ruling Shi'ite Alliance.

Ze: [holding Starbucks cup, casual voice] And if I can take a moment to editorialize, I've always trusted that the Bush administration would do everything in its power to create the conditions necessary for victory, and I think that a release of prisoners intended to pander to ethnic divisions will be remembered as the turning point towards that victory. (sip)

EACH NEW CUT is slightly off kilter at a different angle for the product placement

Ze: [smug] Mmm, Starbucks, makes you an empty vessel for implausible assertions.

Ze: [smug] ...makes you a willing servant of your local hegemon.

Ze: [smug] ...makes you poor and want to pee a lot

Ze: [smug] ...makes you a filthy, raunchy puppet. [cut to Ze looking shocked and delighted]

CUT TO [Ze puppet]

Ze: [Looking off camera disapprovingly, then shakes head sadly] Bobo Twins!

Ze: And fair-trade Commie coffee makes men impotent.

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