the show: 01-05-07

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Transcript

You guys are doing the music and intro. How cool is that? Don’t answer it: it’s a rhetorical question.

Less of a rhetorical question: if you hold the door for someone say at a coffee shop or at a deli, do they get your place in line?

Personally, I think it’s part of the deal, but it comes at a price. I believe the door-holder is entitled to a thank you plus an awkward ‘is this cool?’ moment, plus another thank you for the spot in line.

Imagine if my mouth was over here.

You know how to tell when you’ve arrived in the Internet world? You’ll know when you receive a piece of spam from yourself. That’s what happened to me last night while my computer was off. I’m officially spam!

You know how to tell when you’ve given up in the real world? This morning, I ran out of cat litter and for a brief moment, I thought of filling the cat box with cat food. It looked absorbent.

But let’s not talk about that, it’s Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

(RTFEDD intro)

That was awesome.

Fire Eagle Number One: Democrats Take Control of Congress

Nancy Pelosi seen here about to play Congressional Whac-a-Mole made history when she became the first woman ever to be sworn in as speaker of the house.

What is it, 2007? Yeah, we’re right on track with this whole equality thing.

Pelosi started Congress off with a bang officially announcing the beginning of ‘act like children’ week.

Republican representative Patrick McHenry jumped right in, introducing a bill designed to protect republican lawmakers now that they’re in the minority.

McHenry pointed out that the so-called ‘minority right bills’ was based on the exact text of the bill Pelosi presented to the House in 2004 when the Democrats were in the minority.

What McHenry didn’t point out was that the republicans refused to pass that bill. The introduction of the current bill was stalled for over two and a half hours when McHenry who mainly represents ‘rich, white fellas’ couldn’t stop giggling every time he said ‘minority rights’.

The democrats who pledged to work with republicans in bi-partisan spirit were not to be outdone in ‘act like children’ week. Democrats now say that they will prevent republicans from offering alternatives to a number of high-profiles bills that are expected to pass in the first few months of Congress.

(sarcastically)

It’s a new way forward.

Fire Eagle Number Two

Legislation that President Bush signed on December 20th has come under scrutiny.

In question is a signing statement, which he added, that would authorize the opening of and reading of our mail in emergency conditions without a warrant. What threat level is that?

The move is seen by some as an unconstitutional extension of executive authority and the Senate Intelligence Committee has promised to look into it.

Meanwhile, around the country, people are heard muttering ‘well if you don’t have anything to hide; what are you worried about?’ Those same people refuse to give out lists of movies they’ve rented in hotel rooms.

Fire Eagle Number Three: Rapid Update on Somalia

Transitional and Ethiopian forces take control of the last Islamist stronghold. The Islamists retreat further and further south towards Kenya. Kenya responds by closing its borders to the Islamists and all civilian refugees.

Fights start breaking out in the south and Kenya denies turning away refugees despite a UN report. Islamist leader [Sheik Ahmed] Mohamed Islan vows to kill any Somali that supports that transitional government or the Ethiopians.

And Al Qaeda releases a video basically urging the Islamists to kill everyone. That’s not Islamist.

Fire Eagle Number Four: Running Fool

Running Fool has almost made is across the country and back using only Sports Racers for lodging and travel. That is an amazing thing.

This Saturday, he will land in Seattle and Saturday night, there is a Sports Racer Meetup planned in the lovely/artsy area of Freemont. If you’re in the area and want to show him out with a bang: go to the forum to find out details and remember to bring your pins.

(silently)

This is Ze Frank, have a great weekend.



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