the show: 01-23-07

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[Double Sports Racer Intro (mother and repeating daughter): It's. Ith. The. Da. Show. Shtow. With. Vif a oin. With who? Vif a oin. Ze Frank. Fway quoy show, a ze.]

Good morning Sports Racers, and welcome to the Way Coy Show a Ze.

Knowledge says Denver is getting hit with another barrage of storms; wouldn't it suck if you had to fly there today?

[Laughing] Awesome.

[V/O as camera shows forum post] Booalready writes, "Can I enhance my memory by playing the memory games on your page?"

As the baby boomers start takin' over the night clubs, poppin' ginkoviagra (makes the mind erect and the genitals sma'ter) memory has become a hot topic.

"Now where did I put the keys to those handcuffs?"

[Smirking] Older people are dirty.

After years of speculation and silly actors saying that the mind is like a muscle, The Journal of the American Medical Association confirmed that brain exercises, at least for older people, do pay off. The six-year study involved training sessions using mnemonics and rhymes.

"On Saturdays, I mow the grass. Ms. Richards likes it in the—"

[Sternly] I told you they were dirty.

[Laughing] Oh boy.

The National Institute on Aging found that people who were given at least ten hours of training in memory and reasoning skills showed improvement for up to five years.

However, Doctor David Lonestein from the University of Miami found that different types of activities lead to different types of improvements.

Crossword puzzles and memory games don't necessarily lead to improvements in every day life skills.

In other words, you might get good enough to solve expert Sudoku, but you might be solving it on a bus that's going the wrong way.

Real life improvements, however, did come from training in real life activities like balancing check books.

[Smiling] Now there's a game that would suck balls:

"Dude, I can't get past level five."

"Yeah, five's a bitch. Check the front pocket of your grey coat—there's a receipt in there for Metamucil."

"Ahh, I knew it."

Lingering doubts have not stopped the game industry (and me) from getting into the brain game craze.

In 2005, Nintendo released a collection of games called Brain Age; over 3 million copies have since sold. The game's creator, Isamu Shishido*, said, "I don't want to end up some crazy old man. I want to play a little everyday before going to bed."

[Smiling] I bet you do, dirty.

Anyways, in answer to your question, yes, playing my memory game will make me rich. Sorry, you memory more.

But perhaps we all need memory more.

So in the next week or so I'll try to team up with some expert puzzle makers to challenge your minds.

This is . . . [confused look].

[*Transcriber note: Ze seems to have been quoting this article where an Isamu Shishido does give that quote, but it appears that he may have confused the subject of the interview for the game creator. Later in the article it mentions that Mr. Shishido is "a food company retiree"]

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