the show: 01-26-07

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Transcript

Sports Racer: Good morning, Sports Racers. You're watching The Show with Donald Duck and Ze Frank.

Ah, the duck embraced by humans is ashamed of its nakedness.

What do you think: one bad hot dog in the Detroit airport is gonna stop this train from flyin'?

Hell no! It's Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

[Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day intro speaking] Yeah, mahn!

Out go the generals who disagree, in comes General Patrias pictured here keepin' it warm. On both sides of the isle General Patrias is seen as the best man for a bad situation, and was confirmed by an 81 to zero vote in the Senate.

Eeeee. Despite the fact that the Senate foreign relations committee denounced the plan to send more troops to Baghdad (oooo), the plan will nevertheless be carried out.

Speaking at the Oval Office today, President Bush congratulated General Patrias in explaining that the plan will move forward because he is the decision maker saying quote, "I have picked the plan that I think is most likely to succeed."

Once again, he chastised critics saying some are condemning a plan before it's even had a chance to work. By then, of course, you're not really condemning a plan anymore; you're condemning a reality.

No, the correct time to condemn a plan is when it's being made; that's what planning is.

This plan, however, is past planning and is becoming a reality. And as with any reality that involves bullets and people dieing, I very much hope that it will work.

The problem is your track record in choosing plans that are likely to succeed blows chunk's out of a monkey's butt. And I'm not counting the 8 billion chunks that were just requested for Afghanistan.

You've paid me with lottery tickets before and yes, I'll admit, each time I thought maybe, just maybe, we'll cash in.

Despite the odds, despite the evidence, I secretly hope you had some hyper intelligent alien stashed in the back room somewhere. I hope d that that was what the secrecy was all about: that you had an in, that the lottery was rigged. That's why the bit about global warming in the State of the Union Address scared the crap out of me.

I looked down at that lottery ticket with the words "Don't Worry" printed on it and had to rip it up. Yeah, I held onto it just like the other times I secretly hope that you had something up your sleeve like maybe the aliens were just having a barbecue.

As for the current plan in Iraq, President Bush has said that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Getting worse is part of the plan, and it appears that the plan will not have been given a chance to work until it gets better.

Once again it's a long shot, bad odds, and both sides of the aisle know it. Non-binding resolutions from the left, and non-binding benchmarks from the right.

In any case, we will give it a chance. We care too much about troops on the ground not to. I sincerely hope that it does work, and I hope that Muqtada al-Sadr's recent vow to cooperate is a step in the right direction. But I also hope this is the last lottery ticket that the President is allowed to buy.

This is Ze Frank, thinking for me.


In local news, Lady Leary and three other Sports Racers are entering the National Tobaggon Championships at the Camden Snowbowl. As of now, the team name is Quack Attack, and that's ass-slappin' awesome.

Here's wishing you the best of luck, and hopin' that you bring home a trophy.



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    A purple duckie for the prettiest princess

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    because more ze in his underwear is a gift to all

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    Happy Birthday to the Garlic Mustard Queen!!! :)


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