the show: 01-30-07

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Transcript

This is Peter Conrad. From San Jose California, you're watching the Show with Ze Frank.


Dude that duck behind you has a package like I've never seen. Happy Tuesday.

Chodester writes 'Did anybody mention that this giant baby was born 2 years ago? Looks like your power move defences will be too late.'

Sweet way to fulfill the third thing that is foretold in the LYBWNBC.

It's right here 'Some wank will point out the amazingly slow birth of the giant baby.'

Don't be offended, when it was written, wank was term of endearment.

'He's a good wank'

The news isn't two years old, it took 2 years to deliver the baby.

You probably just bought into the liberal press.

But now that you completed the trifecta, power moves are more important than ever.

What is your power move?

Anyways what were we talking about?

__.

Oh right, Scooter.

So like, George and Dick were totally pissed at Saddam, right?

Nancy told me it was because at lunch, Saddam wouldn't share those little delicious balls in the funny shaped bread that are deep fried in oil.

But not only that, Carl said Dick told George that he overheard Saddam call George's dad a pussy.

That was right after his dad broke up this fight and bent Saddam over his knee but didn't spank him cause he knew that the PTA would get all freaked out.

So George asked Tony if he knew anything about Saddam and Tony said that he heard that Saddam bought a whole bunch of ninja throwing stars from a kid at one of the downtown schools and was hiding them in his locker.

So anyways, Joseph, who spent his whole freshman year at the downtown school, overheard the conversation and decided to go down there and check it out.

But when he went down there they were like 'who the hells Saddam and what the hell is a ninja throwing star?'

They also said 'say high to Angelina' cause she comes down there a lot.

So Joseph told one of George's kinder friends, whose also named George, to tell George that Tony was probably making shit up.

But then a few days later George got up in front of the whole cafeteria and told everybody that Saddam had ninja throwing stars and that the other George would back him up.

Not only that but he said that was why Saddam wouldn't let anybody look in his locker, not even the hall monitors.

So everyone was like, 'Crap I don't want to get hit by a ninja throwing star,' and besides, Saddam's kinda of a bully anyway so they all got together and beat the crap out of him.

But Joseph was like 'Screw that! I told George to tell George that it wasn't true' and he got up in front of the whole home-ec class and told his side of the story.

That's also when he remembered to say 'hi' to Angelina cause she's hot.

Jen told me her lips are so big because she gives all the guys blow...

So when they heard about what happened in home-ec, Dick and George got pissed and Dick called Joseph a hippie.

But then the next day, Bob the class clown started telling everyone that Joseph's girl Valarie was actually one of the undercover student hall monitors.

And that totally blew her cover when she was in the middle of trying to find out whether the rumors about Angelina were true!

Bob said that he got his info from a couple of seniors and everybody started spreading rumors that it must have been Dick.

Dick and his little brother Scott said that it wasn't them and that George said if he found out who it was he'd kick their ass.

It turned out that class clowns from almost every grade had been told about Valarie.

So the principal started asking questions about who leaked the info and started handing out detentions to people who wouldn't talk.

Finally this one kid Matt caved in and he said that one of George's best friends Carl told him.

But George didn't kick his ass.

But then this other girl caved in and she said she got her info from Scooter, that freshman whose always following Dick around.

Then Carl was like 'Yeah totally, see? It wasn't me.'

So then the principal pulls in both Carl and Scooter and asks them questions, but then lets Carl go.

It turns out that Scooter told the principal he first heard about Valarie from the class clowns.

But the Principal found a note that scooter wrote that said that Scooter found it out from Dick!

And lying is worse than anything.

Anyways thats why Scooter's in the principals office getting bitched out for lying.

And that's why you never lie to the principal.



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