the show: 02-01-07
This episode of The Show sponsored by GoDaddy.com. Enter code F-R-A-N-K through the link in the sidebar and get your dot-com domain name for $6.95 a year.
Dad, Joe Henderson said his family's celebrating supabuh this Sunday. Can we go?
Timmy, it's not supabuh, it's Super Bowl, and you know our family doesn't celebrate Super Bowl.
What's a Super Bowl?
Well, it's kind of like an ordinary bowl, but it's filled with the most wonderful things you can imagine.
Like Cocoa Puffs?
No, Timmy. Beer.
So the Hendersons get to swim in a bowl full of beer?
Sort of, but the Hendersons aren't going to the Super Bowl, that's just for rich people.
Well, because it's a magical place. People line up to go into big rooms and pee on mounds of ice.
And they have hot dogs there so big, they'd make a little guy like you throw up.
Couldn't we just get some ice and pee on it? And I'll throw up!
It's not the same, Timmy. The superbowl is also about watching men play football.
It's a game you play with a ball. And your hands.
Well, it's kinda complicated, but you know when we play Hungry Hungry Hippos?
Well, it's kinda like that, but imagine if every couple minutes I punched you in the face. It's fun.
So who gets to play?
Well, this year, it's the Colts and the Bears.
Why are they called that?
'Cause all the teams are named after cool, badass things like Bears, and Jets, and Cowboys.
Don't be racist, Timmy. They're called Redskins.
Sorry. So, what's a colt?
It's a baby horse.
So, to play in the Super Bowl, the Colts and the Bears must be the best teams!
No, they don't play enough games to figure that out. But they are the best at balancing a ball on the ground with their finger long enough for someone to kick it.
You'd think a cowboy'd be better at that than an animal.
You'd think, Timmy. You'd think.
So if the Hendersons are too poor to go to the Super Bowl, what are they doing this Sunday?
They're gonna watch it on TV.
Oh. That's lame.
Not really, because TV has commercials, and during the Super Bowl, they're actually fun to watch.
Why can't they make commercials that are fun to watch the rest of the year?
Timmy, everyone knows it takes millions of dollars to make compelling content.
Oh. So how come we can't go?
Well, because your mommy doesn't like watching football, because it reminds her that your daddy's a pussy.
...and your daddy doesn't know enough of the players' names to fit in, so everyone else thinks he's a pussy, too.
And besides, your mommy doesn't know how to make dip, and she embarasses your daddy by bringing hippie food.
Why to they eat dip?
'Cause when you're drunk, finger food's easier to eat.
Why do they get drunk?
'Cause when you're drunk, football's easier to watch.
So dad, what do they get when they win?
They get a ring.
You mean like mommy's?
No, Timmy, mommy's doesn't have real diamonds.