the show: 02-12-07

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Transcript

[Intro by Push Physical Theatre forming a sculpture with their bodies. Young woman:] Good morning Sports Racers, we're Push Physical Theatre. [Guy at the bottom:] This is The Show, [everbody:] with Ze Frank. [Guy at the bottom:] Alright, get off me!

[Ze:] I’m gonna try that with my cats. [snicker laugh]

Good morning sports racers it’s Monday February 12th knowledge says money can’t buy love, but the absence of it sure can take it away.

Sa-sa-sa-somthin’ from the forum. LauraLee08 writes, "My school is going to New York City and I’m going with them, my mom is all concerned about it there, anoy one know some cool places to check out."

LauraLee what a koinkidink, I live in New York and perhaps I can help you. Before you travel here there’s a few things you should know.

Marcel Proust once said, "The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes, in seeing the universe with the eyes of another, of hundreds of others, in seeing the hundreds of universes that each of them sees.”"

If someone on the streets of New York comes up to you and says that, throw your money on the ground and run away. They’re crazy.

Besides that, the most dangerous people you can run into in New York are the ‘situationists.’ If you do, just tell them they created a cardboard philosophy to justify the commercialization and eventual death of a temporary subculture. They might give you an obscene hand gesture, but they’ll disappear into a bar.

The New York your mom is scared of is the old New York. The one that Leonardo DiCaprio lived in.

It was a scary place and remained that way until the 1980’s when I first visited. Back then you could put anything in to a brown paper bag and the cops couldn’t do anything about it.

As you can imagine, there were a lot of brown paper bags. And that led to the deforestation of northeastern New Jersey.

But then, something miraculous happened. One man came along and changed everything for good, and cleaned up the city. His name was Giorgio Armani. That’s why we have the Armani State Building, Armani Park and the Statue of Armani.

Those are must sees.

But, you’re going to do something different, you’re gonna look down instead. When you do you’ll realize you are standing on the DNA of New York. Literally.

You’ll notice a few black spots and then a few more and then you’ll realize you’re surrounded by thousands of them. Those spots are pieces of gum that contain the DNA of people who stood where you’re standing. Gum on top of gum, DNA mingling with DNA.

That’s what’s so special about New York hot dogs. They’re just like normal hot dogs, but they’ve been sitting, sometimes for years in a stew of other hot dogs.

My favorite Hot Dog Haiku, author unknown.

Pigs lips meet my lips
Pigs stomach meets my stomach
A meeting of meat

Other big cities are big, and you’ll sit in the passenger seat of someone’s car and they’ll drive you around.

In one neighborhood they’ll say, "My ex-girlfriend lived here." In another they’ll say, "This is where I got my first job." Further along they’ll say, "This was the scene of the worst night of my life." And maybe later, "I‘ll take you to where I first fell in love."

This big city, however, is compressed, and they're street corners here where people can point to all those things, just by moving their hands.

A crazy person might come up to you and say, "This is dense psycho-geography."

DNA on top of DNA
Meaning on top of meaning
You know what to do

I’m sure plenty of people will give you good advice on where to go while you’re in the city, but if you have a moment, pick a street corner and try and make it your own. Notice the gum and the colour of the pavement. And as people walk by look at their faces. If they‘re smiling try and guess why. Or you can go to Katz’s Deli and order yourself an Armani Sandwich.

Sports Racers: power moves will be accepted for another week, mainly because there is a bit of confusion as to what they are.

Sometimes it feels like that Little Yellow Book doesn’t exist! More on that later.

Meanwhile, are you tired of Valentine’s Day commercialism? Well then why don’t you eat a big dollop of irony cause "GIMME SOME CANDY" is going V-Day!

Buy some now and your Valentine’s candy’ll appear on the 2/14 show. If you’re on the O R G you can also request that it appear on someone else’s page. You can do that publicly, privately or you can give the recipient three guesses.

Now if you have more love than money add a video or picture to the Valentine’s Day Project in the O R G. It’s free.

[Makes kissing gesture into camera.] Mwah!



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    25 shows left - I'm buying me some time

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    I like green

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    No donation, no salvation.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    only procrastinatin'  ;-)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Happy Valentine's Day, Jim! ---from Sarah


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