the show: 02-16-07

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[Intro.] Hello sports racers, this is Chris Marford (???) from Tübingen in southern Germany. [Cut to picture of gadget with five buttons.] Worst pocket calculator, ever! And you're watching The Show with Ze Frank!

[Ze:] Well, technically, that's a base four calculator with no null.

[Cut to footage with little girl saying something unintelligible.] Blah, blah, Ze Frank!

(Ze, angry) Did you just say "Up yours, Ze Frank???" What the f...

[Cut to little girl footage.]

(Ze, angry) Are you kidding?

(Ze, knowingly) So that's how it's gonna be. You're ganging up on me.

Listen Sweetie. My power move against your power move. Anyday.

[Cut to little girl footage.]

(Ze, angry) Stop saying it!

Anyways, back to my German friend.

Hast du gehört in Deutschland ein 37-jähriger hat ein Riesenbaby zur Welt gebracht? 6,18 Gramm. Wahnsinnig.

[TRANSLATION: Have you heard, in Germany a 37-year-old (man) has given birth to a giant baby?
6.18 grams. Crazy.

So it's Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

[CGI rendered RTFEDD intro.]

With the German economy in the crapper and the recent birth of a giant German baby, German farmers have taken to breeding giant German rabbits.

What else is that baby gonna play with?

Yes, for some it's mere art, but for others like Karl Szmolinsky it represents the promise of some day being able to afford an American Budweiser.

NPR reports that the North Korean government is taking interest in Karl's giant rabbits, paying him over a hundred dollars apiece.

The plan is to breed these rabbits in Korea for food.

Small catch: These rabbits eat about two pounds of food per day, which is twice the amount of food that humans get in North Korea.

A pound of food a day!? I thought they were starving!? That's like four quarter-pounders!

Critics fear that North-Koreans will be using the giant rabbits as leverage in the next round of nuclear negotiations. The first round of negotiations wrapped up this week with North Korea agreeing to close down its main nuclear reactor in exchange for food, fuel and other aid.

A second round of negotiations to be held someday will focus on North Korea handing over its weapons and its nuclear fuel.

US conservatives got pissed, saying that it sends the wrong message to countries like Iran, which might think that pursueing nuclear weapons could eventually lead to a pay day.

Also drawing fire is the fact that the US will remove North Korea from its list of terror sponsoring states, and will lift trade and financial sanctions.

Sure the sanctions hurt, but that LIST!

As part of the deal Americans will now have to refer to Kim Jong-Il as a tall and handsome man.

Don't be too hard on 'em. We're a little rusty on this whole negotiations thing.

This week, the Bush administrations provided what the state department called "strong circumstantial evidence" that Iran is supplying weapons to Shiite military groups in Iraq.

Specifically, serial numbers were found on explosively formed penetrators, or EFPs, that trace back to Iranian manufacturers.

Although the implication is, that the Iranian government was somehow involved, both President Bush and General Pace have come out and said: "There is no smoking gun that directly supports that accusation."

Presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton warned the president today that if he plans on taking action against Iran, he'd better go to the congress first.

Iranian president Ahmadinejad, seen here with Diane Sawyer the giant, denied Iran was arming Shiite militants. However, he went on to say that he was looking forward to finding the serial numbers on any one of the tens of thousands of weapons that the US lost in Iraq.

That search will happen simultaneously with another search for the over twelve billion dollars in Iraqi cash that we also lost over there.

As promised, the puzzles will start tonight with the help of the good people over at

Check back this Friday evening at 10pm eastern, and follow the link to what will be the first of two weeks worth of puzzles.

And for someone, there will be a fat prize!

Have a great weekend, and I'll see you on Monday!

Oh yeah, and remember to submit your power moves!

Especially YOU.

[Cut to little girl footage.]

(Ze, angry) Stop saying it!

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    hey, ze, it's my birthday! Thanks for the show.

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