the show: 02-23-07

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Transcript

[Intro by a Lady with a flute standing in front of a piano.] Good morning Sports Racers, from Des Moines, Iowa, you're watching The Show with Ze Frank. [Plays the flute, playing along the melody of: "Sports racer, racing sports. What is your power move?"]

[Ze:] That is how you flute, and today is Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

[RTFEDD animation.]

We have three fire eagle days left, and we need some more animations.

[In high pitched voice] What ya got?

This week, a bit of turmoil among the presidential hopefuls.

It all began when long time Clinton supporter and Hollywood mogul David Geffen threw his money and mouth behind Barack Obama.

Hilary took offence to Geffen saying she was incredibly polarizing and that the Clinton's lied with such ease.

She shot back accusing the Obama camp of negative campaigning, and demanded that they return Geffen's cash.

Obama said he didn't understand why he should apologize for someone else's remarks, and added that Hilary was a dirty flavoured pop tart.

Clinton responded saying that if ass beetles existed, they'd live in Barack's face.

Then, Barack's campaign manager rubbed a picture of Hilary on his nipples, going [in high pitched voice] "Lalalala".

Then Hilary said she found some of Barack's dirty red panties at the Donut store.

Then Barack got on stage and he went [long shot of Ze, making a funny face and waving his arms and his right leg].

And then he dry humped a gourd with the word "crap rabbit" written on it.

Hilary taped a cucumber to her face and puked on a Ouija board.

But then the Edwards campaign started to cry.

Look: [Footage of giant squid in dark blue sea, Ze singing:]

G-g-g-giant squid
look out for his giant hole

I'm sorry, that won't happen again.

NASA astronomers announced what they said was, quote, "another stepping stone in the search for life elsewhere in the universe."

Results, which were published in Nature magazine, found that on two alien planets, no water was found. And no life. Nothing, actually.

Worst stepping stone ever.

[Ze looking into his Asics running shoes] No life in here.

Two down, one hundred billion more to go.

The UN imposed deadline for Iran to stop enriching plutonium came and went this week.

Iran doesn't seem to understand the power of the UN, and in fact increased production.

President Ahmadinejad said he would stop enriching uranium, only if western powers stopped enriching as well. [grins]

The Bush administration is continuing its non-negotiation nuclear deterrence strategy that worked so well in North Korea.

While the UN considers tougher sanctions against a country that can sell oil at 65 dollars a barrel, the US looks like it's planning for plan B, moving another aircraft carrier into striking range.

Defense secretary Robert Gates, however, reiterated, quote, "we are NOT planning a war with Iran."

There aren't enough NOTs to go around, and this one had to be borrowed from Somalia. The US had previously said that it was NOT engaged in a proxy war in Somalia.

The New York Times today gave back that NOT, reporting that direct US involvement was far greater than previously acknowledged.

Meanwhile, in the wake of the Ethiopian invasion, things are getting back to normal in Somalia. Which isn't a good thing.

For some reason, a massive strike and a government switcheroo has led to an insurgency.

No one saw it coming.

Just in case the US needs its NOT somewhere else, the international atomic energy agency is moving ahead with plan C.

[Picture for radiation] Updating its symbol for radiation from something silly to something scary as hell. [Supposedly new picture for radiation] Sperm is how the propeller eventually avoids death.

Sports racers, the power move challenge begins in the ORG on Monday. I'll see you there.

Have a great weekend.

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    www.BuddyJackson.com - we love Ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Candy in return for zero begging. Selah!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Hodgmania = purple duckie

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    daddytypes.com: you're so much tanner than we, ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    Rubber ducky, joy of joy! You're my favorite batht

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    You're my favouritest teacher ever!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    first

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Today's 'The Show' brought to you by cafn8ed.tv!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    Happy Birthday Motel, your present is in the mail!


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