the show: 02-26-07

From zefrank

Transcript

[Intro by guy standing next to research station dome.] Good morning Sports Racers, from Davis Station, Antarctica, you're watching The Show with Ze Frank.

[Ze:] Suuure, that's what Antarctica looks like. [Winks]

While you pussies were eating Oreo cookies and reading pornography magazines, here in New York we were preparing for the real thing.

That's right, nothing less than Winter Storm 07. Maybe you didn't hear about it while you were collecting your pornography data.

In, err, [finger quotes] Antarctica

The snow came suddenly, without warning... for those people without radio, televisions, or the ability to read.

Like someone with a stutter in a spelling bee competition, major media stepped up to meet the challenge, warning its citizenry at every opportunity of the bizzare natural phenomena to come.

And lucky they did. The snow fell like a hammer. Or perhaps many tiny hammers made out of ice. A view from above reveals streets so overwhelmed that the cars almost appear as miniatures.

I'm not sure if you can see the sign behind me but if irony were alphabet soup you'd need a bucket to carry it to grandma's house, and by the time you got there the only letters left would be i, r, o, n and e. The sign says 'no parking' but residents are wondering [dramatic pause] when they can leave.

But as they say, snow knows no no-nos. And it affects more than just automobiles and some small dogs.

If irony were a diaper it would be woven out of crap. Like Tantalus of old this plant is surrounded by much needed water... but is unable to drink.

Here a street chicken, having tried to climb to safety, rests forever - painfully close to its goal.

Even the mighty refrigerator, thought to be immune to the cold, falls prey to the snowfall. If irony were irony, it would be spelled, normal.

If irony were an ashtray it'd be filled with asthma inhalers. While New York is paralyzed by Winter Storm 07, snow has fallen outside of this hospital, where people are treated [dramatic pause] for things like paralysis.

Thanks for that special report DemiMooreFanLOL. I assume that the worst is over.

Well MyspaceKitten22, not to be a doom-sayer, but when snow melts it turns into water - and New York could well be in [dramatic pause] for a flood.

Remember you heard it here first. And often.

[blackout]

[Ze:] A few of you have asked where the party be at.

My answer to that is, 'which one?'.

I assume all of you are busy planning parties for happy bye-bye internship week.

That's the week of March 17th to the 24th.

I'll be in New York, and I'll go to as many internship parties as I can.

But you may not be in New York, so it's time to organise some meet-ups at meetup.com. How else are we going to exchange small inexpensive gifts with our initials on them?

Check with the Fabulosos in the forum. I'm sure they'll all have it worked out.