the show: 03-02-07

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Transcript

[Intro from a kitchen.] Good morning Sportsracers, my Massachusetts appartment spans two cities. That means this recycling [puts blue box on the table] is the property of Cambridge, [cut to a toilet with a cat sitting on top] and this recycling is the property of Somerville. For my daily version of the Twin Cities, you're watching The Show with Ze Frank.

[Ze:] Dude, I'm concerned! I'm not sure you really know what a toilet is!

[Looking angry] Uuhhh, alright, I'm tired, I woke up at four!

[With eyes wide open] Bling!

And I'm checking my emails and I get this:

[Screenshot of an email] Hi, I hate to be the one to mention this, but people continue to talk about your weight issue and it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now, people are always chattering about each other at work but you come up more than enough.

Sure, it's just spam, but what kinda sick bastard writes that crap?

So I might have gained five...-teen pounds over the last year, whatever it takes.

But this kind of solicitation praised on people's insecurities, that's what hurts my insides.

Anyways, gimme some candy ends next Friday.

If you haven't bought candy yet, you'll most likely never find true love.

And if the opportunity ever presents itself -- which it probably won't -- people will laugh at your genitals.

And the your genitals will fall off and they'll start laughing at you.

But they'll grow back -- in the shape of a muffin.

Anyways, I'm not concerned about my weight, I'm using positive thinking.

A controversial study at the University of Harvard found that the placebo effect may apply to weight loss.

84 hotel house keepers were divided into two groups.

One group was told nothing. The other group was told that their regular job activities gave them enough exercise for a healthy life style.

The study claims that one month later that second group had lost an average of two pounds, had lower blood pressure and a better body fat percentage.

The researchers say that it holds promise for mind set related weight loss. However, since you now know about the study, it'll never apply to you. Sorry.

Oh poop, I forgot: It's Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

First: the weather.

[Paul Rudd?] Overcast.

[RTFEDD animation]

We still need two more RTFEDD animations.

We have known about North Korea's plutonium enrichment program for decades.

The past few years of hubbub hasn't been about plutonium, it has been about uranium.

All the fun started in 2002, when the Bush administration accused North Korea of pursuing a secret uranium enrichment program.

That's when we cut off their oil supplies, and they threw out the inspectors. And, we stopped talking to 'em.

And they went forward with their plutonium program and made a bomb.

However, intelligence officials revealed that the evidence for significant uranium production capabilities were... shaky.

I don't know, I'm picking up a theme here.

[Picture of David Kay] David Kay, who led the hunt for WMD in Iraq, said that he found the administration's case against North Korea, which was based on the purchase of aluminium tubes, "unpersuasive."

And all this leaves some officials pondering the now moot question, whether the current escalation could have been avoided, had the information been properly assessed to begin with.

But that was then, this is now.

After the recent discovery that Iran has been buying bottled water for years, the Bush administration has accused Iran of hiding a giant ladder, long enough to reach the sun, where the water could be used to plunge the Earth into perpetual darkness.

This comes on the heels of the administration's claim that Iran is hiding an invisible powder, that, when consumed, makes people hate freedom.

President Bush has also warned that every Iranian's shadow may be a living being unto itself, hungry for man flesh.

Just saying, the word Iran has been shown to melt puppies.

And is the cause behind tangled earphone cords.

And all death.

The US has vowed not to talk to Iran until it hands over at least a portion of its giant ladder, or develops nuclear weapons, whichever comes first.

A little bit of housekeeping. Thanks to tanga.com for its two weeks worth of puzzles. We await the winner.

The power move quack attack will soon be narrowed to the power 16.

There's a little over a week left to submit your short personal messages for March 13th show.

Have a great weekend. This is Ze Frank thinking, so you don't have to.



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-5.gif    goose here, sorry 4 a cheap donation. great show!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    love IS like baggage

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    It's not much, but I wanted to say thank you, ze.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Ze, u b fierce & fabulous & worth every dollar!


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