the show: 03-05-07

From zefrank

Transcript

[Intro by a CGI character, forming characters with her body. Female voice from off.] Ready? Set? Go! Gimme an Z! Gimme an E! Gimme an F! Gimme an R! Gimme an A! Gimme an N! Gimme an K! What's that spell? The show.

Ze: [contemplating and mumbling] Whatever you say!

Worst spelling bee ever!

But you are quite flexible.

You know, I'm not [finger quoting] "the whack", but I do hang out on my space dot c-o-m.

But I'm not one of those people that's there for the pictures. I'm there for the words.

I like Favorite Books, General Interest, that'll eat up a Saturday, and how about those About Me's! [laughs] Racy!

But, recently I was a bit disturbed to find out that some of the conversations I'd been having with the people I'd met, weren't as private as I thought they were.

Sometimes I do the video chat thing, but I assume it's personal, and won't show up on advertising.

Aside from feeling a bit violated, they also edited me out, because I assume that true.com did not want to pay me.

So the result is I don't see any money, the world sees a slice of my personal life, and it's taken out of context.

[Footage from wondergirl's video chat page, lying on a couch with a laptop. Ze speaking from off.] For example, I found footage of one of my many Sunday afternoon chats with wondergirl. She began by writing, "Hey there, sexy." That's my instant messager handle. [wondergirl waves into camera]

[Cut to Ze lying on his bed with his Powerbook, wearing shorts and black socks, waving with a goofy smile.] I was happy to hear from her, so we could continue our conversation from the night before. [starts typing] "So, are you still a desperate out-of-work actress?"

[wondergirl] She liked it when I said things like that. She said it made me seem genuine. Besides, the move to L.A. from Wisconsin hadn't been that easy for her. [starts typing] "I got an internet commercial LOL" [starts laughing]

[Ze, smelling his finger and gagging] Looking back, that should have probably tipped me off. But I was naive. "That is so totally gonna hook up your career WINK."

[wondergirl, laughing] She didn't know I was kidding. I liked that about her. "Do YOU act?"

[Ze, laughing incredulously] We were pretty much hitting it off. "No, but I'd like to see you act." Stupid.

[wondergirl] I had to give it to her. She nailed that one.

[Ze] "Now, pretend to puke into your hands," [wondergirl laughs with her hands in front of her mouth] "and when you're done, blow it all over me." [wondergirl blows a kiss into the camera] She was on fire, and she knew it.

[Ze, pretends to catch the imaginary vomit, and stuffs it into his mouth, licking his fingers afterwards] Did I think we had something. Sure. But then she caught me off guard.

[wondergirl, typing] "I really like your P-*-S-S-Y."

[Ze, stares into the camera, horrified, as Annie exits the frame in the background] That was pretty much it for me. I'm not into that kinda crap.

[Footage from amore4you's video chat page] It wouldn't have been so bad, if it was just her. But they got footage of my conversation with amore4you as well. Like that time I asked her to hump dance her laptop. [amore4you dancing, holding her laptop to her belly] Man, that got me going.

[Ze, sitting on the edge of his bed with his laptop] Or that other time, when we showed each other our armpits. [tucks up his sleeeves and shows his right armpit]

[amore4you showing her armpit in a dancing move] That girl certainly knew how to video chat.

[Ze lying on his bed, licking his index finger] I guess all I'm really saying is, "Be careful." Something like this could happen to you. [picking and rubbing his nose.]