the show: 03-09-07
From zefrank
the show: 03-08-07 |
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the show: 03-12-07
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Transcript
[Ze v/o splash screen:] Thanks to godaddy.com for their continued support for the show. Enter code FRANK from the link in the sidebar and get your .com domain name for $6.95 a year.
[Intro] Good morning Sports Racers. This is the American Museum of Natural History and you're watching The Show with Ze Frank.
[Ze:] Somebody else sponsored the show - you did.
[Ze, giggling] Holy-crap-in-my-mom's-brand-new-boots, look at all the candy.
Thank you very much for your support throughout the year.
That's it for gimmesomecandy on the show but blip.tv has agreed to take it over.
That means you can make stuff and people can give you candy.
Give them a few weeks to set it up but it's nice to know gimmiesomecandy'll still be around.
Also, as the chairs get flipped up onto the tables most of the meaningless products will be gone by next Friday.
A couple might stick around, but let's not dwell on that: it's Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.
Mr. Philosopher, could you give us a quote on being human?
Err... let's see... to... err... is human...
Thanks. Got it.
Whu?
The shipping company DHL doesn't just stand for 'deliver'. It apparently stands for d'head and d'liver.
[laughs & groans] I'm sure somebody else got there first.
A resident of Grand Rapids, Michigan, received and opened two packages: one containing a liver, and the other a partial human head. The packages had originated in China. DHL said the delivery was a mix-up.
In other news, a Chinese Mob Boss was confused this week after receiving a package containing the book Tuesdays with Morry and an iPod, following several phone calls saying he should expect a quote 'special delivery'.
While the US struggles to find evidence of North Korea's alleged uranium enrichment programme, some dude in Germany kind-of had the opposite problem.
For the last ten years he's been telling German authorities that he got his hands on some uranium pellets and buried them in his back yard.
They didn't believe him. But it turned out to be true.
A little comforting bedtime story. About radioactivity.
The Bush administration has vowed never to speak to that man, and his name has been added to the axis of evil. In all caps.
Although possession of uranium is a crime in Germany he will most likely not go to jail, because he turned himself in.
And that's why you always tell the truth.
Presidential candidate John Edwards had a rough couple of weeks, most recently being called a bad name by respected journalist, American sweetheart and known philanthropist Ann Coulter, seen here holding back the hounds of hell.
Edwards, seen here welcoming the kittens from heaven, was shocked a couple of weeks back to find his virtual headquarters within Second Life trashed.
His virtual office was reportedly plastered with virtual Marxist and Leninist posters and a faeces-spewing obscenity. Whatever the hell that is.
It was assumed that the attack was the work of some Republican eHoodlums.
However, in a comment on Edwards' blog the eTerrorist group Patriotic Nigras [note: likely a pseudonym for the internet troll group known as the GNAA] took credit,
Adding that they weren't Republicans, and saying quote 'sorry we broke your intertube campaign Mr Edwards'.
Yeah. It's getting weird.
Finally, the Associated Press reports that a group of Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site after President Bush visits next week.
They'll be doing that to eliminate bad spirits. Left behind by him.
He was young, it was a party in Vegas... he might have picked up a coupl'a bad spirits.
But that's okay. He's a bridge builder now.
Quick cuts and silly news. Have a great weekend, this is Ze Frank, thinking so you don't have to.
Oh, right, and the deadline for the short personal messages for Tuesday's show is this Sunday.
Send them to the email address in the sidebar.
Mwoah.
This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy
All I can say is thanks, Ze. You've been wonderful
Thank you for your generosity. Loves -More Puppies
One last hurrah; for the man who wins the internet
i'll give you $50 bucks to keep vloging....please!
Ze, S&C, you've helped us all:Know Thy Self, TY!!!
You have changed my life for the better. <3, AC
Come visit Seattle sometime, Ze!
Thanks, Ze. And I <3 U, Papa Bear.
Kris - our bare asses looked good. Dan-o
I'll miss you both, Ze and Tim! Thanks, Ze!
I'm indebted for what you've given. --transiit
you had me at 'chicka-quack-quack'
cuz you can't have too many duckies...thanks ze!
here's putting a price on laughter
Many thanks Ze, 4 the daily knowlege & inspiration
thank you Ze - from Meg and Mog
have some change, monkey. and thank you. - rumoko
aw shucks ... i think i'm gonna cry
I'm going to miss you, Ze. So much. -- Magnus
Thanks for a great year. I'll miss you.
ze, you will be greatly missed. Pawling loves you.
Thanks for a great year, Ze. Scrabble, anyone?
(hearts too. but thanks for removing my blindfold)
Thanks for the laughs and tears. Magical. AdamG
Ze... Thanks for a great year... OzBoy (Brooklyn)
thank you, ze, for making us smile..we hart u..h&d
Danka Ze-make us proud on the boobtube or wherever
Who will raise our giant baby now?
Amontillado and DataVortex forbid ending the show!
Wherever you go next, keep up the awesome
Thx from a former brain crack addict!- gaijingirl
ze silent scowling standing still is sorta scary
Rob Z. and all at TechKnowMe will miss you, Ze!
Worst 'Repelling An Audience' Ever.
I'm off brain crack. Thanks Ze. -- Colin.
Quack Quack my little duckies! Smell you later Ze
Thanks. You lifted me up this year. Keep in touch.
the magnet people: thinking for themselves. thanks
Damn. One less thing to distract me from work...
Thank you so much - the people at Since The War
Vielen dank, Ze, wir werden dich vermissen. M Ente
It's been a wild ride. Thank you!!! *OtterHuggles*
Ooooh I'm a duck... do marmots eat ducks?
thanks ze. the show is duckin' awesome.
NPR&The Show.All the media I need.Thx Ze, BritBoy.
Why do things have to change? <3girlie_sportsracer
You made me happy 5 minutes a day for a year. KTG
i shall cry the day the quacking dies...
I'll miss the little little duckies in the pond...
omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis
thanks for a great year! keep it up!
Ze - thanks for the good times, best of luck
Putting my money where my mouth is - great work!
Thanks Ze, it's been great fun. -d
Thanks Ze, it's been a great year.
I've been a viewer since august. I'll miss you-JZ
Everything will be okay. Shut up. Yes, it will.
and that is how that is done. amazing.
Trust yourself and your talent.
for zay and my genitals. thanks britt, hi matt! rp
Lindsay in WY doesnt know what she'll do without u
Hey Ze, thanks for being on the show!
sad it's ending, grateful for the fun-thanks, Ze!
though I am broke, you have fixed me, thank u Ze
I'm poor but you make me feel rich. Thank you, Ze!
Thanks for a wonderful year, Ze... Inspiring! ts
Oh please don't go we'll eat you up we love you so
('\(^_^)/') bear huggles for Ze
Ze, you're amazing. This one's for you, sauce.
Thanks for everything Ze - Cmar
Thanks for the daily smile, Ze
Thanks for all your genius work! - bradical
Bittersweet, but so much fun. Thanks, Ze. Athenor
Going to miss you ze, thanks for the shows!
Bye, Ze! Stay in touch, k? Love, ChaosDigest
I do. I do. I do. A chicka quack quack. (Ze too)
Thanks for hours of distraction from med school
Thanks for everything -Inty (now dance monkey!)
Now who's gonna think so I don't have to?
Wish I could give more candy Ze! Awesome! scuzrulz
oxgenmassagetherapy.com $20 off for sports racers
So do I get laid now that I've bought a duckie? <3
'Use Magic Duckie Luck to Help me get that Job!'
time to fly, lil duckie. bless you, ze.
Tyler, I knows me a perfect brother! Thanks Ze!
You've given me purpose the past year - Thanks!!!
thank you ze. stay awesome! :D vagranting.com
Looking forward to what's after the show -yischon
Ze, you are a gentleman and a scholar thanks -K&T
So long, and thanks for all the duckies.
I'd like to thank the LoA for this duckie.
'Why does everything have to change?' :-( Miss ya!
best of luck on future missions - badasstronaut
mattburnsey.com is gonna miss you!
Some last minute panic candy. I'll miss you! ~kit
Ze, thank you for an amazing year. -Ilias
What am I saying? You'll still be around! ~kit
Wish I could give more, Ze. You gave us all more.
Great job Ze. $10 is ripping you off!
Words fail. Thanks for being so awesome. --Aaron--
To all my friends i love you -Adrian DuMay
A candy duckie for ze... --jeremy
If I show you my power move, will you stay?
Now who will think for me? Thanks-devansdesign.com
Just trying to show u some luv - thanks Ze!-d@v!d
what will happen The Day After?! thinking, i think
www.stretcher.org will miss the show. Thanks Ze!
Thanks so much, Ze (MNBM). We'll miss you. - Ian
Ze, always remembarrr, Pirateboy's got yer back!
I'm priviledged to have been a tiny part of this.
Thanks Ze! from ]]] Creative Slice [[[
]]] and Tim [[[ from Tucson, Arizona!
Chrissy and Dave will miss The Show. Thanks Ze.
Duckie blue, very sad, ur the best Ze I ever had
thanks for your candy of awesomness frank
pink duckies are the awesomests_thank you ze. LELE
I'm the guy who suggested the peanut butter, btw.
Duckie blue is so sad your the best Ze, I ever had
Have a cool summer oh, and thanks :)
Many thanks Ze, from a couch in London...
an amazing year of the show! thanks Ze
Can't believe your really going. Say it ain't so!
how strange, O how funny & strange -Czeslaw Milosz
We'll all always be new viewers for you, Ze.
Thanks for sharing the awesomeness, Ze!
1 last duckie. i'll miss the little bastards -Loki
Thank you Ze. Go forth and let more awesome out.
Ze- Thanks for a year of daily joy! - Viola Zuppa
I'll miss you too, Ze--Stay in touch! Love, Shells
you've made us think, even if we don't have to
The darzeecompany appreciates.
whatever you do next, i hope you still sing.
thanks for all the good times Ze - Sam & Emily
Happy days, Ze. See you at SXSW. Make a DVD!
Ze Frank, you bring all the lolz to the yard.
you light up the web with funny - thanks. MrKluth
we con't to think even when you did it for us tanx
Thanks Ze, we *are* a world sandwich now.
It's high time, and JC pushed it over the edge.
thanks for everything ze... i'll miss you.
I'll miss you, thanks for keeping my sanity going!
So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu!
Can only give a jewel. You deserve so much more.
Let the greatness you created go on and on. -Jecka
Thanks ze, it's been fun! arf & laura xx
thanks for everything Ze... chicka quack quack.
Thanks ze, it's been fun! arf & laura xx
Does anyone read these??? bigfaceworm.blogspot.com
Thanks for the greatest hits Ze. We'll miss ya so.
Knowledge will be a bit lonelier on the bus--PLJ
You rock. Looking forward to your next creations.
Thank you Ze, for a fabuloso year. Art
Its been a fantastic year Ze! Well done.-Dil Dil H
this is it where it begins, right?
sob! kisses! miss ya ze - ohnonichole
Ze, thanks for everything. I'm proud of you!
Thanks for the show - Mr. Stuff2Do
Thanks for a year full of laughs
It's all I got left and it's yours - stay strong
Am I too late? Thx for great entertainment! Goose
One last ducky, classic yellow. Boundless thanks.
end/begin, same thing...TopangaPurpleDuckie4U&MQ
This.Ones.4.Marsy.MQ.&ScrabbleBarfing:).love.
Here's your damn candy, now eat it!
Ze! I'm so sad that the internship has to end ~ARK
one solitary tear, running down my cheek
Thank you! Seriously.. thank you - Jonathan
MM...U're this close to shady!! DC
Ze is the only thing worth watching. Thanks!
Last!! Thanks for the ride-chickaquackquack
may our future be in hands of visionaries like you
What next Ze? Thanks for all this.
sorry about the chess thing. my B dog. -- kazz
Hey Brian Robinson - thanks to Ze, your famous!!!!
tuh tuhtuh Kah tuhtuh tuh tuhKah
I hope the LOA has a residency program. Thanks Ze!
It was the season of Darkness -Charles Dickens
Where do I hide the bodies? They're getting stinky
Thx for the great shows! - Support for Ze.
i want to be your forever friend and guitar's too
Small square: represents so much love from us to u
awesomeness is ze brightest jewel
in fact it's so much more than a pipe. love, topaz
Loved it, Ze! Stay brilliant. -elevatedprimate
I'd pay $100K for Ze to do another year!
Thanks, Ze. Knowledge will miss you.
A square duckie 4 u- gonna miss U Ze. frm- Kenni
A duck from Bess, the world's best chicken
For all you do, this ducky is for you -- Super Lou
We'll miss you, ze! (Really!) -Will
Thank you Ze and good luck with what's next!
Bye Ze! We'll miss you! Please run for Congress!
You're great. Thanks. Seriously...thanks. -Russish
you have enough candy dont know why I'm doing this
Thanks for the ride... That was something special!