the show: 03-13-07

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Messages from the Sportsracers

1. Hi Ze and all the other Sports Racers, this is consumatron. I'm not really sure how to put into words all the appreciation I feel for the last year, so I salute you in the most awesome way I know how. (Stands with his arms upright, jumps and crosses arms and lands sticking arms out to the sides) Thanks for the awesomeness everyone.

2. This is Alan from San Mateo California, and I just wanted to thank all the Sports Racers fer... just raising the bar and being smart an... (fumbles)

3. (Smiling guy in the dark, just blinking)

4. (Guy sitting making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich) Hello Sports Racers, this is transiit. I want to thank all of you for making the past year so much fun. Everyone on the forum, everyone on the ORG doing creative stuff. Everyone who showed up for movie night.Thank you. Thank you Ze. (Puts Peanut buttered bread and jellied bread on his face) I feel happy.

5. (Two guys staring into the camera, smiling...finally they scream wildly)

6. This is shabbosgoy, and I just want to say "Hi" to Ze and all my not-friends on the forum. Thanks for everything. (3-headed blue dragon puppet enters the shot)

7. This is the closes to poignant that I can get in 15 seconds, but everybody, whatever brief recording you've made, whatever you've said, don't let this be the only time in your life you have a real chance to make a statement to so many individuals with so much potential to have your message openly received.

8. Hard Charger attack! (puppie chewing on a ducky, making squeaky noises) Attacking the little duckies! (Dog chews some more) Ok, Photon. (hand reaches to take the ducky from the puppy) Thank you!

9. (Photo of two people hugging) Allison and I used to joke that we were psychic. After six years apart we realized that we had both independently become Sports Racers. After we each tried to take credit for introducing the other to "The Show."

10. (Guy with the camera on him, spinning around) Hey Sports Racers, thanks for making the earth a sandwich, and for keeping the mayonnaise out of my queue.

11. To my fellow Sports Racers: I just want to say, "Poop!"

12. pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-"Poop"-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-"Poop"

13. (woman following a pigeon, saying something)

14. (Hand takes a notecard that says "Watch Ze" off a pinboard. Then feels the emptiness longingly) *Sigh.*

15. (Boy plays with a tennis ball hanging from a string, tosses it away, and it comes back and bumps into his head. Smiles)

16. Budgeting Lesson #42: (woman in a chair, 2 children doing her hair) You want a new hairdo, but you can't afford a beautician, so ask your kids for help! (smiles and gives 2 thumbs up)

17. (Girl looking down, laughs)

18. Hi this is catman, thanks for all the wit, the comedy, and teaching us how to do the monkey dance, its something I can use at my job.

19. Hi Sports Racers, this is BiancaInez, and I want to thank each and every one of you, but especially those of you who have become my true friends, real life friends. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to believe in myself, and reminding me how to hope.

20. Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, Sports Racers; a farewell is necessary before meeting again, and meeting again is certain for those who are friends.

21. (a duckie) Good morning Sports Racers! (face talking) I will always remember <t> one line at a time Haikus. Friendly bonds melt fast In the winter of the show Farewell Sports Racers See you around the sandwich! Smiling Sarah, Double-O One.

22. (Kid giving 2 peace signs)

23. (singing) Who like the little duckies in the pond? I do I do I do a chicka quack quack quack. (talking) Hey Sports Racers, how was that internship? Was it a life-changing experience? Did you get a new "skill set?" Did you play well with others? Before it's all over, make sure you thank those who guided you along the journey. I hope you all keep those creative juices flowing, and I'm gonna finish by saying I Double-Duck Dare ya. Allow yourself to be wrong. Ou Revoir. *SMOOCH*

24. Thanks for doing all the funny things, and, um, I feel kinda bad that this is going to end soon.

25. Mary had a little lamb, his foot was black as soot. And into Mary's bread and jam his sooty foot he put. Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor daughter a dress. When she got there, the cupboard was bare; and so was her daughter I guess.

26. (guy holds his fingers like a gun, smiling) Gimme all your money. (another guy wraps his hands around his head) (laughs)

27. (blank white screen) Dear Ze, and the rest of the Sports Racers. This is Convict24601. I just wanted to say thank you, I'm going to miss you all. This has been one hell of a conversation and one wacky and fun ride. Take care.

28. (People roller blading)

29. Hello new viewer, and welcome to "Flawless Pickup Lines." Are you tired? Because you've been running through my head all day. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? I have an erection. Are they gone yet?

30. (Guy drinks Sierra Mist, scowls and snaps his fingers)

31. Hi Sports Racers, this is Wombat, and he only says Two things (grumble) Would you like a cheese sandwich? Is that an avocado?... Smile!

32. Hi Ze. Originally I was going to show you a video of my friend Lauren, shown here, calling you a bitch; I don't know why. It's just the way she is I guess. But for some reason my video isn't working. So I guess you'll just have to read her lips. Hm. Enjoy. Greetings from Kansas. (video of Lauren)

33. Define Ze. Zed. Ze. (laugh) Trendy fashion? Trendy vacuum fashion. He actually helped me hire a web developer. Hi. That was Steven. He's working out just great. Thanks Ze.

34. (guy looking at ducky) Mew? Ngwack.

35. Hey man, where you been, this place is a mess. I know, I've been spending all my time catching up on that video blogger guy. You know. Ze Frank. I just hope he doesn't sell out. Whatever, what's his name? Ze Frank!!

36. Hey everybody. Remember the human baton? That was a lot of fun for us. You know what else is a lot of fun? BWAAAAA (vomits out the scrabble tiles to spell "THANK YOU ZE FRAN" and moves the "K" to spell FRANK) One Two three. (Step, swing arms x2) Aaaaahhh.

37. This is Adam from Knoxville Tennessee. Ze, thank you so much for The Show, and Sports Racers: You can do anything you want. Remember that.

38. Hi I'm Nickapanda from the ORG and I'd just like to say thank you Ze for making The Show, I hope you come back, We're sad to see you leave. Lukukari for putting me in the thinking video, Joko for being in The Show. So long and good night.

39. Just keep on riding that fire eagle Sports Racers, no matter what day it is: Danger or not.

40. Blub blub

41. Why not? That's very interesting. That makes me think of

42. (GUy with glasses on, dances to music in snippets. Woman takes a duck out of a present on his crotch) Duck.

43. Ze! Hindsight is 20-20. I shouldn't of drank that many. Hind sight is 20-20 Stop. We'll miss you Ze. Bye Ze! Bye!

44. A Message from Panzyfaust: So after many iterations and then realizing just how short 15 seconds is I think I've deduced it to this; I can't duly express how much you've inspired and taught me over the last year. So Ze and Fabulosos, thank you.

45. (Guy gives peace sign and mouths the following words: Peace out Sports Racers.)

46. Mark Twain said, "Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great." Thanks for being really great, Ze.

47. I wish it didn't have to end so soon. You did a great show, Ze. See ya 'round, Sports Racers.

48. (singing and on guitar) (D) Who likes all the Sports (A) Racers in the pond? (G) I do, I (A) do, I do, (D) a chicka quack quack.

49. (guy drinks from a pink cup, looks around) Despite popular belief, I think life is beautiful. And I wanted to thank you, Ze.

50. Bye Ze from duckies in the pond. A sugar quack quack.

51. Ze and the Sports Racers, thanks for helping me kick the brain crack. *pop*

52. To Ze I would just like to say thank you for being so awesome and making me feel so happy inside. To the Sports Racers I would like to say EEEEE (waves, makes silly faces)

53. Hi Ze and all you Sports Racers. This is Jehoshaphat saying thanks for all the laughs, for helping me get rid of some brain crack, for showing me the potential of an internet community, and for chicka quack quack. Ze, have your agent call my agent. We'll do lunch. Peace out.

54. And remember: If you want to save the world, you're gonna have to push some old ladies down some stairs.

55. Sports Racers, here's to light-hearted critical thinking and making the world a more awesome place for ourselves and our kids. And Ze, thanks for the spirit. You - This - is part of what's right with the world. As you go to the big leagues, remember: you have no small power. Use it.

56. 11:45 on Sunday night, 15 minutes to deadline, trying to think of something important to say in 15 seconds, all I could think of is: "Thanks Ze Frank."

57. Sports Racers, I'm okay, you're okay. We'll all miss Ze, and that's okay.

58. Hi. This is Mark D. And I'd like to thank Ze and the Sports Racers for making something special and letting me be part of it.

59. (2 Lady sports Racers exchange a duckie and hug, then show a sign that says: Buck up, Sports Racers. Let's USE this momentum!)

60. (Guy holding cards that say: "My mic is dead... Thanks Ze... Thanks to all you Sports Racers, I'll miss this, *HUGS* (non-creepy)" then waves goodbye)

61. Thanks, Ze, for an amazing year. And thanks, Sports Racers for being so awesome.

62. Hey Sports Racers. It's Old Grimy. I'll look forward to seeing you on Saturday. St. Patty's Day! I'll be a Leprechaun. I'll be carrying these. (holds up gold coin.)

63. Hey Sports Racers. This is Phoebe in Berkely, California. Thanks for the connection, art, and community. I look forward to rockin' the ORG with you. Thanks for everything, Ze...for thinkin' so I didn't have to. (pause) crap, now I have to think.

64. Sports Racers. (begins pointing to spots on a global map.) Made an Earth Sandwich. Bought some kid in Germany clothing, and made holiday songs. I didn't. Good luck, Ze. I wish I was there from the beginning.

65. (Text: Daisy May The Worst Cow, EVER!)) Do Cow's say moo? (Dog says MOOO. "We'll... Miss you... Ze." Text: It's been fun. Come back and play again sometime!

66. Oh hi. We had some good times, eh sports racers? I don't feel so silly knowing that hundreds of you did this too. This is Andrew Bolvert, dressing up a vacuum cleaner so you don't have to.

67. Hi Ze, this is Jeremy, um, and I just want to tell you thank you for the show and I hope that everything goes well for you in the future and good luck with everything. Take care.

68. (Japanese music, and a guy weearing different outfits, of which a gas mask features prominently.)

69. Hola Sports Racers. Me llamo Caballo. Y mi hermano es <resandiar> Y tengo arbon de aste mis manos. Por favor, cuan tengan sear <alledear> de las puertas. Hasta luego.

70. It's a great, big dirty world sports racers. But let's stay true to our selves. Good luck.

71. This, my friends, is known as the magic hour.

72. Scientists and artist do the same thing. They both ask questions and try to answer them. Now that the show is coming to an end, where are you headed? The lab, the studio, the theater? All I know is, I'm headed for the world. It's all of the above. I hope I see some of you sports racers out there.

73. Here at the <Ausfurd> labs we have a template to breed the perfect Corgie: The one able to say "The Show with Ze Frank." Thus far our- all our efforts have failed. She only goes "WOOF"

74. Hey, how ya doing? this is Brian from The Big Things. Quick message to all you Sports Racers out there. (shows pictures of rubber animal noses) Don't wear those rubber animal noses. They're really stupid. (shows a woman with a duck nose surrounded by hearts) Except for one. Alright, stay awesome everybody.

75. Thanks Ze, I learned more from you than I did from my teachers.

76. We can't do what Ze does. We can do what comes easier for us. And we just have to figure out what that is. No. Ze is funny. I'm not funny.

77. There's so much pressure, 'cause we're supposed to be in the league of awesomeness. I just want to do something really awesome. (jumps) Now that's awesome.

78. Hi. I'm Thomas J. Brown of A Life Less Ordinary dot com, on the ORG as M W Productions. Ze, thanks for the past year. And Sports Racers, stay awesome.

79. Well, this year has been quite "Paradacular" Indeed. So I was watching Ze this long time And we have realized something. Ze has showed us how to ____ without blinking or any real point.

80. Hi. Wanted to think of something witty to say inkeeping with "The Show with Ze Frank," but I couldn't so... Thanks all for sharing and... "Something Witty"

The transcript for this episode is incomplete. Please contribute and help us finish it!

Bye Ze, see you in the big show!

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