the show: 03-30-06

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the show: 03-29-06 | watch this show | the show: 03-31-06
pre-birthday, surprise party, bush blames hussein, shut her down and get governing, democratic process, brainy brains develop slowly, edgy,mccain, democratic experiment, baghdad istanbul

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


(the commentary: 03-30-06)

It's Thursday, March 30th and baby make a ca-ca, bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla, knowledge, let's go.

Tomorrow, I'll be celebrating the fact that the Earth is in the same relative position to the Sun that it was on the day that I was born. By counting these occurrences, I get a value that I can use to compare my successes and failures against other people with a similar value. A surprise party is where your friends and family lie to you to make you feel alone and unloved. Then, when they throw you the party they would have thrown regardless, you experience a sudden rush of emotion as your depressed self returns back to normal. Some people think that life in general's like that. They keep waiting for the party. I call that denial. Happy birthday.

In a speech last night, Bush countered critics that said that the US presence in Iraq is fueling the insurgency saying rather that Saddam Hussein is responsible for the ongoing sectarian violence.

Wha??

Bush also stated "I would want the Iraqi people to hear I've got great confidence in their capacity to self-govern. I also want the Iraqi people to hear… it's about time you get a unity government going. In other words, Americans understand you're newcomers to the political arena, but pretty soon it's time to shut her down and get governing."

Shut her down and get governing. (blinks) Shut her down… and get governing.

Despite his confidence in Iraqi people, President Bush is pressuring the current prime minister, al-Jaafari, to step down. Is that part of the democratic process? 'Cause, if it is, I'd like to ask someone to step down.

CNN.com reports that very smart children, despite their reputation for being ahead of their peers mentally, actually lag behind other kids in the development of thinking part of the brain. But, before you let your dumbass kid roll around in the garbage, note that researchers said that the findings do not rule out a role for environment such as intellectual stimulation in affecting a child's level of intelligence.

Alright, alright, I'm edgy today. But we're cool, right?

Senator John McCain has started to refer to what's happening over in Iraq as a, quote unquote, "democratic experiment."

Howard Kaloogian, a leading Republican running for a seat in Congress, recently posted this photo on his official campaign website. He wrote "we took this photo of downtown Baghdad while we were in Iraq. Iraq is much more calm and stable than what many people believe it to be, but each day the news media finds any violence occurring in the country and screams and shouts about it, in part because many journalists are opposed to the US effort to fight terrorism."

But the photo wasn't from Baghdad. It was from Istanbul, Turkey. Somebody who lived there recognized the intersection. Kaloogian later admitted that the photo was from Istanbul, but, uh, said he had nothing to do with the posting.

(squeemish faces)


You just made my double-prime mega-fan-frickin'-tastic dee-bitchin' motherlicious shitlist. I got an axt'rix next to your name that says you're the Governor of the United States of Pissing Me Off.

By the way:, thank you. Without you I'd just be a weirdo, talking to myself.

(sings) Sports Racers, racing sports! (spoken) What's your power move?

And that's everything that ever happened up 'til now. This is Ze Frank, thinking so you don't have to.

Shut 'r down and get governin'.

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