the show: 04-04-06
(sings) Someday, you and I are gonna die.
Tuesday April fo', grab a Ho-ho, we're goin' a picnic. Knowledge is hungry. Let's ea-t.
CNN.com reports that U.S. Representative Tom "Frito" DeLay plans to resign from Congress and will drop his reelection bid, citing a desire to keep his House seat in Republican hands. DeLay faces trial later this year on money-laundering charges, and the resignation comes on the heels of a guilty plea by his former deputy chief of staff, Tony C. Rudy. He states yesterday that he has, quote, "no regrets," and that Democrats retaking the Congress would be "disastrous." (confused face) As opposed to…?
Canada's Conservative Party announced yesterday that Ottawa does not intend to reintroduce legislation to legalize marijuana.
Many young Canadians were overheard saying "Damn. Is that a nacho?"
News from my blog. Yesterday, Amy left a comment saying, "Hey, since you're already thinking so I don't have to, would you mind running my errands as well?" I can't run your errands! I don't even know where you live! That's crazy!
CNET News carries a story about how advertisers and companies are looking to customers to create advertising content for them. For example, Al Gore's network, Current.tv, encourages its viewers to create video advertising content for companies like Toyota, L'Oréal, and Sony. Advertising companies are shitting their pants, while consumers are wondering how they got roped into making this crap.
A study from the University of North Carolina determined that young teens who were exposed to high levels of sexual content through the media are more likely to have sex by the time they reach sixteen. This study will be used in two ways. Market researchers will use it as scientific evidence that sexually-laden content is actually getting through to these kids, while parents will use it to make their kids' lives miserable.
(playing with boobs) Bow-chicka-bicka-bow-bow
The Washington Post interviewed an undergraduate from SUNY Buffalo to analyze the risks and benefits of blogging. Jessica Miller is quoted as saying, (valley girl voice) "blogging is, like, often anonymous, and makes it easy to post false and offensive and misleading information, but, like, it can help shy students express themselves more freely, rather than, like, raising a nervous, anxious hand in a classroom, but, like, the Internet doesn't allow for emotional undertones." Thank you, Washington Post, for your commitment to knowledge.
In MySpace, NadiaTease wants to be my friend. In Nadia's "About Me" blurb, she says, quote, "Hey, it's my nickname is 'Hot Stuff'. My best friends tell me that I am the shit, I don't know about all that, but I guess they know me best right. Anyway, I think I am the shit. Maybe you can get to know me and give me a better idea on how I really am."
Sophisticated Ze: Oh, Nadia, you tease me with your silken tongue. Of course I'll be your friend. And maybe more.
The first urinary bladders ever grown in a laboratory have been successfully transplanted into patients. (sings) What a wonderful world. (Pops lips.)
Iran has reportedly been testing its weapons over the last few days, including a super-fast torpedo and a super-modern flying boat.
Iranian television said that the boat was "all Iranian-made and can launch missiles with precise targeting while moving. Due to its advanced design, no radar at sea or in the air can detect it, and it can lift out of the water." I would like to ride in your magic boat!
This is Ze Frank, thinking so you don't have to.
(Playing with boobs) Bick-ow bick-ow-bow, chick-a (licks lips) Goo-woooooo! Ahh-laa-lllll! Ow! Chh.
This marks the first appearance of S-s-s-something from the Comments, although Ze did not use that phrase.