the show: 04-11-06

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(the commentary: 04-11-06)

Transcript

Good morning sports racers it's Tuesday April eleventh last night I found out that my cats are lesbian cats and knowledge is cool with it.

News from the neighborhood.

While walking around in my neighborhood this morning I discovered something: no matter how bad my day gets, it won't compare to whoever threw this out: a toilet lid and a self help book on irritable bowel syndrome.

Yesterday at least 14 people including five members of Parliament were killed when a military plane crashed in Northern Kenya. This comes only four days after Kenyan authorities announced that 80 people had died in a fake plane crash, which it later called a practice drill. You gotta admit that’s pretty weird.

While speaking at Johns Hopkins University, President Bush was asked by a student whether he declassified the national intelligence estimate in order to silence a critic. President Bush responded, “Yes…no…I… this is…there’s an ongoing legal proceeding which precludes me from talking a lot about the case.”[1] Bush has stated that he did authorize the release of those documents saying that he “wanted people to see the truth”. However the information that Scooter Libby says he was authorized to portray is a “key judgment in the intelligence community” was in fact buried deep within the document because of doubts about its reliability.

Yes…no…I… this is…there’s an ongoing legal proceeding which precludes me from talking about this case.

In the past, President Bush has had no problem commenting on ongoing legal proceedings when he said that he believed that Tom Delay, the indicted former House majority leader, was innocent.”

Yes, no, I, this is. Yes no I this is.

CNN World reports that students and labor unions in France plan to take to the streets today to celebrate the repeal of the controversial jobs law that they had protested by taking to the streets. I think they like the streets. Oui, j’aime les rues.

The New York Times reports that a NASA space craft will deliberately crash into the moon in January 2009 in an attempt to help scientists search for water that might be lurking in deep craters. The agency had no comment on the President’s request that the space craft, on its return flight, deliberately crash land into Iran.

CNN.com reports that hundreds of thousands of protestors turned out Monday across America demanding that undocumented immigrants get a chance to live the American dream. In the article, Jaime Contrerez, President of the National Capital Immigration Coalition says, “The sleeping giant is awake, wide awake, and we’re paying close attention.” This giant you speak of, if he is sleeping, how can he be wide awake? And what is his name? And where does he live?

As opposed to France, protesting in the United States hasn’t led to anything since the 1960’s.

The Pentagon announced that from now on defense contractors will at least have to do a satisfactory job to qualify for bonuses and awards. In a recent study the government accountability office found that the defense department paid out over 8 billion dollars in special awards and incentives to projects that were behind schedule, over budget, and experiencing significant technical problems. Hey Halliburton, what are you going to spend my taxes on?

Retired Lieutenant General Greg Newbold called for the resignation of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, saying, “It is my sincere view that the commitment of our forces to this fight was done with the casualness and swagger that are the special province of those who have never had to execute these missions or bury the results.” Fox News is having a hard time calling General Newbold an American hating liberal sissy.

S-s-s-something from the comments. 

Scotto writes: "This is Newton's power move." And he includes a link. This is what the link points to.

Scotto, that's your cat, playing with a ball. Power moves are for people. I'm not aware of any League of Awesomeness that allows animals to join. If you wanna see a great power move, check out the one that Bonnie submitted.

Bonnie from now on your name is Smooth Jammer.

Nothing else mattered today this is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to.

Comments

First appearance of "yesnoithisis". See this guide to the Show for a discussion of this and other memes.

References

Comment by Scotto: [ze:theshow/archives/2006/04/041006.html|10 Apr 10:12p].

Newton's power move is here.

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