the show: 04-25-06

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Transcript

Morning, it's Tuesday April 25th - Put Funny Things Down Your Pants Day. Knowledge had a gogurt and is feeling a little "urpy".

World of Warcraft, the massively multiplayer online game is having server problems as well as malfunctions in its billing system.

In a messageboard run by Blizzard Entertainment, the maker of World of Warcraft, frustrated nerd 'Edar' writes:

I just spent four hours trying to get through to your billing department as per your suggestion. But when I finally got through they told me their tools were broken and I was shit out of luck 'till you guys fix it. Guess I can kiss my 'player vs. player' rank goodbye for this week. Thanks Blizzard.

[Parodied nerd voice] I guess I can kiss my... player vs. player rank.... goodbye.

Perhaps now this weekend some lucky lady in real life will experience sexual pleasures by your normally orcish hands.

According to the Associated Press, a New York City judge ruled that city workers can not be fired for surfing the internet as long as it does not interfere with their overall work performance.

[Seductive] Come to Sports Racer.

Hold on one second, I have to go poop.

poop!

It's a habit.

poop!

You wanna go poop? Let's go poop together.

poop!

According to ArsTechnica, the Recording Industry Association of America has filed 235 lawsuits against suspected filesharers. Included in the lawsuit, the Wall family from Rome, Georgia who don't even own a computer.

Recording industry lawyers are doing the equivalent of kicking at the ocean as it advances on a sandcastle.

That's a metaphor!

President Bush, not on cocaine in this picture, has been hit with the lowest approval ratings of his presidency.

I don't think of it as two-thirds empty. I think of it as one-third full.

It's unclear whether Attorney General Alberto Gonzales's crusade against internet pornography will apply to sites that include words like 'bush', 'sliding', and 'poll'.

Man, those sliding Bush polls...

In recent days the president has hinted that he favors the Senate immigration plan. The president said, quote, "massive deportation of the people here is unrealistic. It's just not going to work. You can hear people out there hollering 'it's going to work'. It's not going to work."

[Hick Ze] It's gonna work!
[Hick Ze] It's gonna work!

According to CNN not that many people are actually hollering. A recent poll showed that more than three quarters of Americans favor allowing illegal immigrants who have spent many years in the United States to apply for citizenship.

According to the Senate plan immigrants who have lived in the US for five years or more would eventually be granted citizenship if they remained employed, had background checks, paid fines and learned English.

Children of these illegal immigrants would be required to learn how to speak English with the accent of their parents' original country.

[Mexican Ze] What is your power move?
[Indian Ze] What is your power move, please?
[French Ze] What is your power move?

CNN reports that sources close to the White House said Monday that Fox Anchor Tony Snow, pictured here meeting his first black person, is likely to accept the job as White House Press Secretary.

Snow's experience with Fox is expected to prepare him for all the bullshit he'll have to shovel for the White House in his new job.

[Ze sings with acoustic guitar] Sports Racer, Racing Sports. What is your power move? Sports Racer.

Ian writes "I've been reviewing the reader-submitted power moves, and I have to say I'm a little let down. Sure, they're moves but they lack power. Let me show you how it's done."

Somebody had attitude-flavored Cheerios this morning. Let's see Ian's power move.

[Power move clip, ending with the onscreen caption "I just killed the shit out of you"]

"I just killed the shit out of you?" You know, Ian, being a Sports Racer is about more than just looking cool and impressing your friends. It's about being as awesome as you can be.

You did wear a cool wig, and it was a pretty good power move. It even reminds me of my first power move.

[Clip of Ze's first power move; lightning effects. Ends with the words "little duckies"]

But being in the League of Awesomeness is more than just power moves. Nobody's even sent me a single Sports Racer logo.

Those sports racers wristbands aren't gonna design themselves! A-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh...

Ian, until I know that you're gonna use your power move for awesomeness I'm afraid I can't give you a sports racer name.

And that's all that happened today. Remember those logos. This is Ze Frank, thinking so you don't have to.

poop!

References

This is the first time Ze used the 'poop' joke in theshow. He previously included the joke in the life lessons toy on his site.

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