the show: 05-05-06

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Good morning Sports Racers. It's Friday May 5th. I'll bring the schnitzel if you grab a weiner; tomorrow knowledge goes to Austria.

S-s-s-something from the comments, yes yes!

Joel writes

"Hey Ze, you're in Cannes and all you spend an entire 'the show' on the evolution/ID debate. What a waste of time. Isn't there something cool and French you can talk about?"

That hurt my feelings.


Let's watch the monkey dance.
Make fun of the South of France.
I found these balls, they're made of brass.
This little bathtub smells like ass.
Look! A see-through wall of glass.
Let's watch the monkey dance.
Make fun of the South of France.
I bet this bike goes really fast!
Oh, and Joel, kiss my ass!
Antiantiantiantiantiantiantianti anti-intellectualism.

Grab a weiner.

And now for a Tuesday Tip, three days late, with Chelsea Peretti.

[Chelsea]: "Don't let your kid sit on this"

According to the World Conservation Union red list of threatened species, two out of every five species on the planet that have been assessed by scientists face extinction. This includes one in four mammals, one in three amphibian species and one in eight birds.


According to the New Scientist we could be next. A newly-discovered asteroid over 800 metres wide could hit the Earth in as little as two years.

The odds of impact currently stand at one in six million, which is better than most lottery tickets.

I'll spend my last moments crying. How about you?


Mega-geek-pack Microsoft Research finally got some money to put behind Wallop Incorporated, a social computing venture meant to compete with MySpace and Friendster.

CEO Karl Jacobs explains the key difference between Wallop and other social networking sites is that it's based on models that mimic the complexity and dynamics of real-world relationships.

That's right. I need more complexity.

Karl goes on to say that Wallop's design helps solve a lot of issues with current social networks, including safety and the fact that they become quite impersonal as they grow.

Sounds awesome, but what if MySpace is popular because it's crappy and unsafe?

Just when you find something cool, the narcs gotta screw it all up.

Massachusetts Atourney General Tom Riley has a couple of little favors to ask of MySpace.

In a recent letter, Riley asked MySpace to install an age and identity verification system, raise the minimum age from fourteen to eighteen, equip web pages with a 'report inappropriate content' link, block sexually explicit or violent images, delete profiles of people who abuse the site, remove all advertising deemed inappropriate for children and provide free software that allows parents to block MySpace.

If the minimum age is raised to eighteen, why do you have to block inappropriate ads for children?

This new place sounds lame.

Let's drive kids back to underground bulletin board systems and chatrooms that we can't monitor at all.

[French woman]: C'├ętait Ze Frank pensant ainsi vous ne devez pas"

And that's all that ever happened. Have a great weekend. This is Ze Frank, feeling like crap so you don't have to.



First appearance of Chelsea Peretti.

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