the show: 05-09-06

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Transcript

Hi new viewer, welcome to Simple German Phrases. Today's phrases can be used in a garden picnic:

Wo ist mein Löffel? - Where is my spoon?

Die Himbeeren sind lecker - The raspberries are tasty.

Ich habe einen Schraubenzieher in meinem Arsch verloren - I lost a screwdriver in my ass.

[whispers] Are the new viewers gone yet...?

Good morning Sports Racers it's Tuesday May 9th - Wanna wear a cape and a funny hat and not feel a sissy follow me 'cause knowledge is going to Spain.

I'm hungover and everything makes me feel like throwing up [Music Starts]

(Sings)

The Bright Blue Sky - Makes me wanna throw up
This Random Guy - Makes me wanna throw up
Bad Design - Makes me wanna throw up - And maybe crap my pants.
This Street Sign - Makes me wanna throw up
Old Dead Guys - Make me wanna throw up
Waiting in line - Makes me wanna throw up - And maybe just maybe - look an Austrian Baby - Asshole - Maybe take a crap in my pants.

solamente gags! [Incomprehensable Slow Motion Noises] Today I went for a walk! First I went to the Stad-dT-park. There's a lot of signs telling you not to do stuff; like if you find two giant testicles you're not supposed to sit on one while you rub the other, and if you take a crap in the flowers don't tie a ribbon around it, and no cartoon dogs! They even had to remind the cartoon characters not to leave the signs!

[Line of portable toilets] These Austrian stores don't have much for sale and their sales people are really rude, they also smell like shit!

You'll never guess what else i saw. [music] Something I like that's Gay! [/music] ooohmmm DUCKIES! [Picture of ducky (zooming in)] This baby stared at me. (Asshole!). That ducky wasn't really moving, I was just zooming in on the photograph, that's called the Ken Burns effect. I wish i had an effect named after me...

My effect would be Awesome! It would start real small, then get big then medium, then it would slide in then there'd be guys with capes, then a tree that looked like a crotch and tons of lighning. That's Awesome!

Oh, and in the news the Iran guy sent the President a letter. [Letter reads in childish large writing: DO YOU LIKE ME? YES - NO CHECK ONE!!] ...and it had words.. on it.. in it.. really.

And that's all that's gonna happen to... And that's all that's gonna happen today.

This is Ze Frank thinking, so you don't have to.

Ehhheheee! Wooooooo! Maaaa!

Makes me wanna throw up. (silent)

References

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