the show: 05-11-06

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Transcript - May 11, 2006

Papa, I am coming back to America soon.

Morning, Sports Racers! It’s Thursday May eleventh. Grab a tiny fork and put some reading material next to the toilet, ‘cause Knowledge likes Tapas.

Mama, I’ll see you soon and we’ll eat slices of orange cheese.

S-s-s-something from the comments! Really!

Edward Guglielmino writes ‘I want to give you a record deal pls email me asap’

Awesome! At first, I was a little suspicious, but then I saw you had a MySpace page, so I know it’s for real! Then, I saw the name of your company was ‘Television Records’. I like how you combine two obsolete pieces of technology.

I just know some of my songs will be hits, like ‘How do you work this thing?’.

(Sings)

How do you work this thing?
How do you work this thing?
I've tried, and tried, and tried, and tried...
But how do you work this thing?
Maybe you pull this pin.
Maybe you pull this pin.
I’ve tried, and tried, and tried, and tried...
But how do you work this thing?
Maybe you plug it in.
Maybe you plug it in.
I’ve tried, and tried, and tried, and tried...
But how do you work this thing?


Seela writes: ‘I’m afraid of the giant baby.’ Me too!

(Sings)

How do you spank a Giant Baby?
With a really big ladder...
I dunno, maybe.
How do you spank a Giant Baby?
How do you spank a Giant Baby?
How do you wash a Giant Baby?
With a really big mop...
I dunno, maybe.
How do you wash a Giant Baby,
Especially when it poops.
Poop!

According to CNN, the White House released visitor logs that showed that Jack Abramoff was signed into the White House only twice since President Bush took office in two-thousand and one.

Tom Fitton, the president of the judicial watch, a conservative legal group, said that the records appeared to be incomplete.

Really?!

White House aides previously confirmed that Abramoff attended holiday parties at the White House, as well as some staff-level meetings. None of which are included in the records.

In an email, Abramoff bragged of meeting the President dozens of times and President Bush has said (quote) I’ve never sat down with him and had a discussion with the guy.

I’ve never sat down with him and had a discussion with the guy.

I’ve never had sexual relations with that woman.

I’ve never sat down and had sexual relations with that guy.

Terms like ‘the guy’ and ‘that woman’ are examples of what Psychologists call Distancing Language. Distancing Language is sometimes thought of as an indication of lying.

When George Bush Sr. was in office, he recommended his son for presidency saying (quote) This guy’s smart, big and strong. Makes the decisions.

This guy’s smart, big and strong.

I’ve never met this guy smart, big and strong.

That big woman sat down on the strong guy.

During an interview yesterday, the President Bush said that his younger brother Jeb would be (quote) Awfully good as President.

George Bush senior would like to see Jeb run for president, but has said (quote) The timing’s wrong.

Ya think?!

It’s time for a Tharcathtic Barthelona Thurthday!

That’s where I talk sarcastically about the last comment left yesterday.

Zoomzoom, I’m really psyched that you're the one who left the last comment. Awesome job, it’s really clear! Everybody knows what you’re referring to. Hillary Clinton would never sacrifice progressive ideals just to further her political career. I think it’s awesome she’s moving to the centre. In darts the center’s a bull’s eye. Besides, Rupert Murdoch totally understands the young kids. I bet he bought MySpace ‘cause he wanted to ensure that people could express themselves freely, regardless of their ideology.

I totally meant not to use the last comment. I don’t feel stupid at all that I didn’t scroll down further.

Yeah, rumoko? Your comment gives me lots more to work with. Now I’m really bummed that I screwed up. Just kidding, you know I love you.

And that’s all there is for today. This is Ze Frank, thinking so you don’t have to.

I've never sat down with that woman and had discussions about sexual relations.

References


Comments

Comment by Edward Guglielmino: 11 May 2:20a

Comment by seela: 10 May 7:07p

Comment by zoomzoom: 10 May 10:17p

Comment by rumoko: 11 May 4:40a (Last comment for the 'day', no longer the last comment.)

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