the show: 05-15-06

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Good morning Sports Racers it's Monday May 15th. I haven't slept in 2 days and my head feels like a dog's balls. It's not really Su-- it's --- (moan) It's not really Monday, it's Sunday, Sports Racers, but I'll be flying tomorrow. In hindsight I would've booked a later flight.


Hindsight is 20/20
I shouldn't have drank that many
Hindsight is 20/20
Little elevators are far too small for me
So I ride the big ones
They're not so fun unless you're OCD and you like buttons
Delta representatives put me in a room with a stranger (little duckies)
But he's no stranger anymore
When I peed I didn't shut the door
Hindsight is 20/20
I shouldn't have drank that many
Hindsight is 20/20

Now pretend to speak French Je-ba-ba-be-deux-me-learh-learghfeuu

Ze 1: What was the best part of your day, Ze?

Ze 2: Maybe when I was about to take off in an airplane and they said that the wing flaps didn't work.

Ze 1: Awesome!

Ze 2: Yeah, awesome and then we got to just sit there and it was hot.

Ze 1: Cool, they must've given you information about what was going on.

Ze 2: No, it was cooler than that, they played a game called Guess What's Wrong.

Ze 3: (leuuu-gh)

Ze 1: At least they finally fixed the problem when you took off.

Ze 2: Yeah, no, then they made us get off the plane and sit around for 4 hours.

Ze 1: Awesome, you love airports!

Ze 2: I sure do.

(Walking around airport) (Footage of man transporting carts in airport) No matter how bad my day gets, this guy's day must suck, like blow chunks out of a monkey's ass suck. At least he doesn't have to clean the little testicles you're supposed to put your luggage on. I felt sorry for that guy so I used my own.

Ze 1: Then a Delta representative pictured here (drawing of penis) - oops, sorry, that's the wrong picture - pictured here (drawing of naked man pooping on other guy's head) - oops, that's not it, I guess it is this one (penis drawing), said the flight was cancelled.

Ze 2: Awesome! I bet they booked you a hotel, too.

Ze 1: Yeah, the cool thing was Delta only booked double rooms and I had to stay with a total stranger. (footage of stranger on laptop)

Ze 3: Ouuuch.

Ze 1: I'm not sure but I think Delta's motto is "Go Fuck Yourself"

Ze 2: It hurts!

This is Ze Frank. (long pause) They won't let me come home.

(Footage of man transporting carts in airport)

    1. 18:09, 2 March 2007 (PST)
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