the show: 05-18-06

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Transcript

Good morning Sports Racers, it's Thursday May 18th. Knowledge gave a walnut to a tar-baby and now papa has some brand new shoes.

My video camera's all busted and I'm cranky.

The dirty edition.

A new study in perspectives in psychiatric care finds that innernetadic... intern... [makes face] innernetadi innernetadi...

A new study in perspectives in psychiatric care finds that internet addiction is a serious problem affecting 5 to 10 percent of all surfers. Researchers say that the addiciton can be broken down into five specific behaviors - Cyber-sexual addiction, cyber-relationship addiction, net compulsion, information overload and interactive gaming compulsion.

Not included in the study are the pitfalls of real-life addiction, including loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, lack of exposure to other peoples' opinions and boredom during masturbation.

Stupid camera!

Innernetadi...

I want you to have a good day.

What are you doing under that kiosk, you dirty cartoon?

The House Ethics Committee launched investigations last night into bribery allegations against representatives Robert Nye, William Jefferson and Randy Duke Cunningham. Included in the allegations are limo rides with prostitutes and the acceptance of millions of dollars in bribes from South Carolina defense contractors.

Dirty limos!

I wish I was a politician.

Randy might be sharing a bunk with Charles McGee, the executive director of the New Hampshire Republican Party. McGee was found guilty of jamming Democratic and union phone lines during the 2002 elections.

According to his testimony he got the idea after he was mailed a Democratic flier that offered election-day rides to the polls.

That's pretty dirty...

But not as dirty as this!

Georgia gubernatorial candidate Cathy Cox's campaign manager resigned...

Cox!

...he admitted to altering her opponent Mark Taylor's Wikipedia entry to include a reference to Taylor's son being arrested for DUI after an accident that killed his passenger.

Wikipedia has come under increasing fire from journalists and politicians who claim that it's a potential source for damaging gossip.

John Siegenthaler, a journalist who was scathed by Wikipedia said, quote, "When I was a child, my mother lectured me on the evils of "gossip." She held a feather pillow and said, "If I tear this open, the feathers will fly to the four winds, and I could never get them back in the pillow. That's how it is when you spread mean things about people. For me, that pillow is a metaphor for Wikipedia."

[Spanish Ze] No, no the pillow, mama!

Pillows often represent a boy's first sexual encounter. For example, when I was young somebody carefully left out a Playboy behind two boxes on the top shelf in the closet of the spare bedroom. As a result, I developed a different kind of relationship with pillows.

See? Dirty.

Hey Sports Racers, What does this sign mean?

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

If you know someone in Spain, check the map. We may be close to an Earth Sandwich.

This is Ze Frank, thinking so you don't have to.

References

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