the show: 05-30-06

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the show: 05-26-06 | watch this show | the show: 05-31-06
no more KOC, for now, the process, bobo twins, roll call, talking, not talking, iran, summer jamz

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


Transcript

Good asshole Sports Ra— Asshole? Who wrote this?

For me managing this team is like . . . ordering soup. Flavors, mulligatawny, barley, there's so many diff— tomato, uh . . . I hate fucking soup.

Okay, roll call, no talking. Benny, Marc; Ethel, Shakina — nice shoes; uh Bobo twins, anyone seen the Bobo twins?

(Angry) Those Bobo twins!

John Junior, check. J.J. . . . oh that's you. John Junior, I get it, yeah. So who are you? No talking. Yeah, sign it. Pointing? Your name is point— no, hands? Waving hands? We, we'll call you "Hands." And Condolooza. That's everyone.

(Wearing hard hat) We start each day off with a brainstorm, uh, written, no talking. Um, the hats weren't my idea.

(Angry) Damn Bobo twins!

Alright, who's got something for m— Ethel, thank you. (Takes a note) This just says, uh, "piece of paper." Did you just write down what you were looking at? 'Kay. Better than last time. Who else? J.J.! Thank you. "Iran"! Good, current. Oh, you actually ran.

(Indian accent) Are the new viewers being gone yet?

Good morning, Sports Racers, it's Tuesday, May 30, knowledge says if real life had an undo button there'd be one less five-dollar bill in the Starbucks tip jar.

The New York Times that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is consolidating presidential powers in the traditionally theocratic Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States has long been weary of the power that conservative clerics wield in Iranian government. Ahmadinejad's move away from theocracy is a welcome step in the ongoing diplomatic talks between the U.S. and Iran. Oh, wait, we don't talk to them.

Since the Iranian revolution of 1979, the United States has avoided direct talks with Iran. Big Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld oppose even back-channel conversations. U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Big Dick John Bolton has argued that such talks would legitimize Iran's theocratic regime.

So they're developing nuclear weapons?

Yeah, we think so.

So how close are they, two weeks, or ten years?

Yeah. S-somewhere in there.

So how are you gonna resolve that?

Diplomatically.

Doesn't that involve talking?

Pff. No.

But while we're not talking let's spend some money. The New York Times reports that the Bush administration has proposed a European shield for Iranian missiles. Although the Bush administration argues that building missiles is a form of talking, the New York Times reports that there's increased international pressure for Bush to respond to Ahmadinejad's weird-ass letter.

I've got the walnuts. Show me the baby.

S-s-s-something from the Comments!

lian writes: "I've tried to send some buddies over here but they feel like they're missing out on all the inside jokes". Sounds like someone had a late night out with the Bobo twins and ended up with a single slice of bread on the ground.

(Song)

Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Now when I say Sports you say Racer
Sports Racer Sports Racer
When I say walnuts you say gold
Walnuts gold walnuts gold
When I go poop you go poop
Poop poop poop poop
When I go poop you go poop
_________poop_______poop
There's got to be another way to handle this shit 'cause I can't remind every single time some new viewer come and don't have a clue about what we do: "Hi new viewer last time on the show we covered walnuts and gold"
Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Yes no I this is
Who likes little duckies

Summer Jamz! Hey Sports Racers what kinda song can you make out of the Summer Jamz track?

This is Ze Frank shitting his pa—- Who wrote that?

(Angry) Bobo twins!

References

  • The tag "No more KOC" refers to the ending of King of the Comments.
  • Summer Jamz instrumental here
  • Summer Jamz remixes here
  • Comment by lian - 28 May 5:18p
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