the show: 06-05-06

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the show: 06-02-06 | watch this show | the show: 06-06-06
ethics, meaningless products, fabuloso friday, downer

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


Transcript

(sings)

Fabuloso Friday's where you make the show for me
Everything I say or do except no nudity

If you write everything and supply the pictures, I'll do it. Click on the Friday Fabuloso link to contribute. Keep it under three minutes it might get confusing but remember there's no winning only losing.

(sings)

Fabuloso, Fabuloso Friday.

Good afternoon Sports Racers it's Monday June five, let's spend a couple of minutes together until both of us feel less alone. Hmm! Knowledge says it's "get annoyed at trivial things" day, but knowledge should buy its own pens and stop fucking chewing on mine. (pen in mouth) Huh?

This weekend I've become sick. It's raining in assland... get it? But luckily I'm a hypochondriac. A hypochondriac processes symptoms much in the same way that Google does. (types search word) "Runny nose." (laugh track) Holy shit! When I get sick I start scripting the video tape that I'm gonna leave behind when I die. Sometimes imagining that even makes me cry. Both hurting and happiness make me feel more alive, but as I get older it seems that hurting's the low hanging fruit. So I pick it.

Good news Sports Racers meaningless products have arrived. If I see you wearing one I'll be like "Nice shirt!" And you'll be like "I thought you'd be different in real life." And I'd be like "What, like eight inches tall and low res?" And you'll be like "You're just an ordinary tool." And I'll be like "Uhh... watch out for that bike!" And you'll be like "There's no bike, we're in a yo-yo store/we're in you're mom's lanai/we're at a caper eating contest/we're at a water gun conference/we're at a Hootie and the Blowfish signing event. There is no bike, I'm a fictional girl, even your imagination sucks." Yeah having shirts is gonna be awesome.

--- The news about ethics and the military.

--- The muted part might be: "This is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to".

--- (Makes slowed-down machine gun fire)

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