the show: 06-08-06

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the show: 06-07-06 | watch this show | the show: 06-09-06
craters, al-Zarqawi, culture war, german kid, fabuloso friday, barry bonds, brangelina, immigrants

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


Transcript

Hi new viewer, you've been sent this link because your intimate partner wants to take things up a notch. Your intimate partner wants to spent more time with you. Wants to know more about what you like and don't like. Wants to share everything. New viewer, stop watching. Call your intimate partner and just say: "yes, I accept". Then hang up. The rest will just work itself out.

Good morning Sports Racers it's thursday June eighth knowledge took a Nyquil last night and Blalalalalaaaah. Nyquil make me funny. I dreamed there were worms in my arm. And I didn't care!

You know Sports Racers there's still not that many of us. Take a second to look around and see what we've made together. It's pretty awesome. Thanks.

The US military used GPS and laser-guided missiles to create a giant crater version of "If the earth were a sandwich". The making of that crater killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi who the Pentagon has labeled the most wanted insurgent in Iraq.

Wait isn't he part of a movement that celebrates martyrdom? It seems like if we knew exactly where he was we should have tried to take him alive.

S-s-s-something from the comments.

random brainstorm writes: "Sheesh, lots of flippin' swearing on this site lately. Shucks, can't we be a little more dag nab professional or considerate than that? I mean then I could recommend this cool site to more people."

Awesome you could invite your friends and then they could tell me more things not to do so they could invite their friends! Then maybe we could all go out to dinner together. And then before the main course has arrived somebody with a mouth full of asparagus and bacon could say: "Remember no talking about religion or politics." And then we'd all get drunk and watch each other's mouths move in what seems like slow motion.

(slow motion) Barry Bonds' testicles must be tiny hahahaha. Fucking immigrants, I mean, have you seen the pictures of Brangelina's baby?

We could avoid uncomfortable specifics and continue to align ourselves with amorphous ideologies. Pat Buchanan likes to say we're in a culture war. The Civil War was a culture war, and brothers killed brothers. I wonder if they avoided dinner conversation about politics. What if this culture war turned into a real war. I'd look back on that dinner and wish that I'd ordered an argument.

We've already raised sixty dollars for that German kids' shirt I think that's enough. Now I think we should design it for him! Click on the "Design the German kid's shirt" link to contribute your idea.

Tomorrow's Fabuloso Friday. There's been over a thousand revisions to the script. That's more than I do. The final script has to be sent to me at midnight tonight. Use the polls to nominate someone to send it to me. Remember no more than three minutes.

This is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to.


References

martyrdom

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