the show: 06-20-06

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Transcript

Good morning Sportsracers it's Tuesday, June twentieth. Knowledge says "duct tape a gerbil and shove--"

You're a sell-out.

What?

You sold out.

I sold out? But I don't have any money.

No. Selling out doesn't have to do with actually having money, it has to do with the perception that your pursuit of popularity and potentially making money has caused you to sacrifice your core values.

Oh, shit, like Hootie and the Blowfish?

Yeah sort of but in that case people were just weirded out when they found out Hootie was black.

Oh I get it, like how I found Celine Dion cooler when I didn't know she was white.

Yeah, that's right. Ya sell-out.

Shit what can I do?

Well you could pretend nothing was happening.

OK I'll do that!

Well you just screwed that up.

Oh yeah. Crap.

It's too late now but you could have started out with a transparent agenda to become rich, then if it happened they'd call you a genius, not a sell-out.

Dammit! Well why don't I take a poll and see what the community wants me to do?

That's called pandering to the audience, that's even worse than selling out. And listening to polls: not even the president does that.

CNN reports that president Bush seen here flirting with Tinkerbell has no immediate plans to withdraw troops from Iraq. The decider said "don't bet on American politics forcing my hand because it's not going to happen. I'm going to make decisions not based on politics but based on what's best for the United States of America."

Wait is politics a dirty word? Maybe I don't really understand what it means.

According to one sell-out dictionary politics is defined as the art or science of government or governing.

Oh, right. He hates arts and science. But isn't politics kind of his job?

Bush said "american politics", not "politics", you pinko.

Oh. What's the difference?

DUH! "American politics" is where elected officials debate unrealistic and unreasonable proposals in order to pander to their base and get reelected.

Oh you mean like that gay marriage amendment that has no chance in hell of being ratified?

Right, or how the democrats are responding with that bullshit proposal with the ridiculously short pull-out deadlines.

Seems like there should be a different word for that than politics.

Yeah I call it clusterfucking. Sorry Bonesaw I mean clust(booop).

This November: support your local clusterfucker.

Not all science is about makin' dough and gettin' chicks. According to the New Scientist researchers at the University of Washington have devised a test to examine the possible evolutionary roots of the disgust response. According to the article thirteen mothers were asked to smell pairs of soiled unlabeled diapers, one of which came from their own child. Mothers were less disgusted by the smell of their own baby's crap. Who... who signs up for that study?

Yeah I'm here for the science thing?

Were you, were you looking for the one where you take LSD and masturbate, or the one where you smell shit?

Oooooh. Well I was here for the LSD, but I'll take the one where you smell shit.

OK, but you have to bring some shit with you.

Oooooh. Participation!

This is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to.

(black)

And now for the part where I sell out.

Sell-out.

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Fanmail for Ze moved to discussion.

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