the show: 06-28-06

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Transcript

Good morning sports racers it's Wednesday June twenty-eighth smear it on and feel it tingle 'cause knowledge is addicted to medicated lip balm. (smearing) Uh, uh that's good. That's good stuff.

Today sports racer Muyfabuloso introduced me to chessboxing, the thinking man's contact sport.

That is radically fucked up.

Chessboxing is where players alternate between playing rounds of chess and beating the living shit out of each other.

Awesome ESPN finally has something to dovetail pro paintball. Up next: the open heart surgery keg stand competition. Whatever I feel like doing, gosh.

According to the New York Times Iran's supreme religious leader ayatolly Ali Khameini (pictured here... nah, I'm afraid to make fun of 'em) said that Iran had no use to negotiate with the United States. Khameini (pictured here grabbing a rod) said quote "negotiation with the United States has no benefits for us." White House spokesman Tony Snow's beautiful hair and the mouth attached to it responded by saying quote: "if you take a look at the ayatollah's remarks today, they are ambiguous."

Yeah, that was pretty wishy-washy. Lot... lot of mixed messages there.

Tony Snow (seen here on a bad hair day) went on to say: "the Iranians are going to have to decide whether they're going to go ahead and take the path that leads them towards the basket of incentives."

(hopped up gameshow contestant) Where's the other path go, is it a car? Or that La-Z boy armchair? Oooooh I'll take the basket. I hope it comes with a box of those fancy little crackers that taste like shit. And those little jars of expensive crap that I never open. Sometimes I play with the stuffing. Sure they're useless but it sends the message that you care. (with jar) Oooo look! Dogshit and olive tapenade!

Yesterday president Bush condemned the New York Times and other papers for revealing a secret program that mines a vast international database of banking transactions. Administration officials have said that the Times article jeopardizes the war on terror by alerting terrorists that their bank transactions may be monitored. Two weeks after nine eleven president Bush publicly announced that he was reaching out to banks all over the world to freeze terrorist assets, and to gain as much information as possible.

Ya kinda gave it away then.

Reaching out to banks may not have worked out so well, so the administration directly subpoenad the transaction hubs. And now Europe is pissed off. Formal complaints were lodged yesterday in thirty-two countries contending that the program violated european and asian data protection rules by providing the United States with confidential information. In a speech yesterday president Bush said that we should resist the temptation to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world.

Well if you wanna make friends with the girls' dorm, don't get caught peeking at their panties. Mmmm, french panties.

Since the administration has confirmed the existence of the banking program, White House spokesman Tony Snow (seen here on a good hair day) was asked whether the administration would confirm the existence of the wire-tapping program as well. Snow replied: "we are going to be perfectly circular with you here, but having neither confirmed nor denied before, we're not going to do it."

Say what you will about the rest of the administration, but that man is good at his job.

This is Ze Frank, neither confirming nor denying thinking so you don't have to.

Uhhuhuhu Fabulosos, is someone blowing ass bubbles in the hot tub of strategy? N to F three. Put that in a pipe, then put the pipe down and punch yourself in the nuts.

Whooooo.

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