the show: 06-30-06

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Transcript

Good morning sports racers its Friday, June 30th. Another week of our lives has passed us by, at this rate we will be done in no time.

Knowledge says it's give a thumbs up sign to random strangers don't pat them on the ass it's creepy day.

But make sure you look them in the eyes.

"What are you doing this weekend"

According to sociologists at "doook!" [Duke] University the increased use of the internet is contributing to a drastic decline in the number of close friends that Americans have.

(cut to monkeys)

According to the study the number of people who say they have no one to talk to about important matters has more than doubled. And the number of people that respond and said they discuss important matters with fell from about 3 to 2.

Wait, I thought you said close friends. Now you're talking about people who you discuss important matters with.

Last night my close friends and I discussed how many hamburgers it would be possible to eat in 24 hours.

I think 100 is too high.

We were discussing whether the rules for a 24-hour hamburger eating contest would disallow laxatives.

I felt like everything was fair game as long as nothing came back out the hole you put it in. That at least solves the binge-and-purge loophole.

Duke sociologist Lyn Smith Levin, who apparently feels qualified to make these sorts of statements, said: “This change indicates something that’s not good for our society. Ties with a close network of people creates a safety net.”

That safety net also borrows articles of clothing and doesn’t return them. And has reoccurring birthdays that I have to buy things for. And constantly reminds you of who they perceive you to be at the expense of what you’d like to become. And then they ask you to feed their animals. And get mad at you for changing.

Hey, here's an idea! Maybe since this massively networked world is still in its adolescence we're still trying to work out the rules of communication and friendship. Just because you see something we've traditionally relied on disappear, it doesn't mean we're fucked. It might not mean it's bad for society.

[Redneck Ze]: We should just shut 'er down!

Emerging spaces on the internet may have functions that you can't even predict. For example, I got a message on MySpace, which I thought was about making friends, that said "I'm curious about why you don't do more with your MySpace page. It seems like you drive more traffic to your official site."

Thats why MySpace is so ugly! People are trying to drive traffic elsewhere!

Over the next 2 weeks, I'm gonna try to make my MySpace page as ugly as possible. It's part of the I knows me some ugly myspace showdown. Anyone can enter. Just make sure this ugly duckling graphic appears somewhere on your site so I know you're officially entered. You can grab the image from the sidebar.

On July 14th, we'll vote on the ugliest MySpace page entered. The winner will get a prize valued at $10,000: the one-of-a-kind, limited edition Sports Racer T-shirt! Wow, look at all those logos!

Get crackin', Sports Racers, 'cause I know you knows you some uglay.

(sung) Sports Racers, Racin sports, what is your power move?

Pamplemousse: This is my birthday power move (power move done to the League of Awesomeness song)

Ze: Well, you've certainly earned your sports racer name. From now on you'll be called Pamplemousse.

Do you know you some uglay?

The Supreme Court did some stuff this week, but we'll tackle it on Monday.

Until then, have a great weekend, this is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to.

Fabulosos, I accept your stakes. Qc2.

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