the show: 07-20-06

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Ohhh! Good morning, Sports Racers, it's Thursday, July 20th!

Knowledge says it's "read the product information on a bottle of toothpaste while you're on the pot 'cause you forgot reading material" day!

(looking at toothpaste tube) What should I do if more than used for brushing is accidentally swallowed?

(expression of pleasant surprise) Oh!

Hey, kids, it's summer vacation, that time of year you look forward to but which is boring as crap when you're livin' it!

Don't worry, though, Walmart's got a cool new site just for you! It's called "The Hub", "School your way"!

Lots of kids have already made their own super-cool home pages. Hey, look, there's even some videos on the main page!

(Ashley) Is that it, OK, let's go - sigh - So, I'm Ashley, this is my video and this is School My Way.

Damn it, that's the part I auditioned for. I guess I didn't get it. I worked so hard and some girl beat me out.

OK, so you said sort of peppy? Uh huh. Suicidal? No. No, me neither. Let me just take out my Nicorette. (cough cough/lugie)

(Ze as Ashley) Alright, this is Ashley. This is my video.

(Technically not, you own the copyright.)

This is school my way.

(Ooh, Walmart, interested in educating the youth.)

Alright, this is a bunch of clothing from my closet and from Holly's closet.

(Holly, sweetie, don't stub your toe cause you ain't getting no health benefits.)

And we share clothes a lot.

(Minimum wage don't exactly buy poppa new shoes every day.)

So we are going to piece together a bunch of clothing and stuff to have some fun. You like? Yeah, cute. Ooh this is cute I like this a lot. Fashion, fashion is like everything to me.

(Where's this going? You said this is School Your Way.)

Shopping is like my number 1 thing.

(Oh that's sweet, some day I'm gonna be a corporate hoe.)

I go straight to the clothing section all the time and get really really cute clothes.

(They didn't have no clothing section in my school less you count stealing the dweeb's clothes out the locker room. All skid marks and shit. You gotta wipe that. Don't be parading your leaky butt around here.)

What do you think? Cute, right Holly?

(Remember, don't stub your toe, bitch.)

I like piecing a lot stuff together like, um, like if somebody's wearing a really cute shirt, and somebody else is wearing really cute pants, I'll just like put it together.

(Damn, them young kids gettin' smart. That's mathematastic!)

You shouldn't tuck anything in, that's so not cool any more.

(Oh shit.)

So the one thing is to have your own style and always be comfortable with what you're wearing.

('Cept if you're tuckin' something in. Then I'll trash your shit behind your back.)

I'm Ah, I'm Ashley, that was my video, and that was School My Way. (What the hell that have to do with school?)

Cute, cute, wow, OK, next.

(Yeah, next is right.)

Oh, by the way, if you decide to sign up, don't name your page "I'm a corporate sheep" and in the 'About Me' section don't put "Baaa, baaa" and when they ask you how you're gonna make school your way this fall, don't write "I will buy Walmart clothing". They kinda like send you an email that says that they kinda like don't like that.

This is Ze Frank: doin' it my way, so you don't have to.

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