the show: 08-01-06

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Transcript

Good morning, Sports Racers. It's Tuesday, August 1.

If you know someone named David, Give him a hug. Don't tell him why. He already knows. (Puts a finger to his lips) Shhh.

(Singing) It's David Day!

CNN reports that a key Republican senator has broken ranks with Bush on his Mideast policy. That senator is Chuck Hagel, seen here showing how he controls how wide open his mouth is with his fingers.

(Sped up) Ab. Ab ab aaaab ab. (Slowed down) Aaaaaaaaaaaaab.

While moving his fingers very rapidly, the senator said, "President Bush must call for an immediate ceasefire; this madness must stop." He went on to question how the destruction of Lebanon could realistically lead to a lasting and sustained peace effort in the Middle East.

The senator also criticized the recent troop increase in Iraq, saying "This is not about setting a timeline, this is about understanding the implications of the forces of reality."

The forces of reality? Oh crap!

The Bush administration has long been fighting the forces of reality in the hopes for a different, sustainable reality. Luckily, the FOR has been dealt some severe blows in the last week.

First blow! Last week in Rome, Condoleeza Rice scored a key victory against the FOR in the world of language.

In a one-hour debate that involved lots of face-touching, diplomats worked on the final wording of their public statement. Most countries wanted it to say that the diplomats would work toward an immediate ceasefire. Condi liked the words, but not the order that they came in. Instead, she insisted that the statement say that the diplomats work immedately towards a ceasefire.

C'mon, all the words are still there!

It's rumored that the US ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, had another alternative. Cease work immediately, fire towards diplomats.

The senate foreign relations committee recently put off a vote until September on whether to keep John Bolton as the US ambassador.

Bolton has been quoted as saying, "There's no such thing as the United Nations", and "Diplomacy is not an end in itself if it doesn't advance US interests."

Diplomats normally try to advance their own countries' interests, but I think part of being a diplomat is not saying that out loud.

Sugartits.

This is Ze Frank, TSYDHT.

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